Saturday, September 26, 2015
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
Monday, September 21, 2015
Life can be so weird
This is kind of a spur of the moment post.
I really didn't have any plans of writing, and I certainly don't have a whole lot thought out as I start this, so there's no real way to tell how it's going to turn out.
A lot has happened in my life. There have been minor changes, big changes, and holy-shit I didn't see that coming types of changes. I've grown up a lot in the last 10 years and have learned to take on a new perspective on any number of things that can and probably will happen.
The thing about life is you can never really tell what's going to happen. Even the most stable of individuals will likely have to deal with some kind of adversity at some point. Many will handle it just fine, but some will completely crumble under the pressure, thus changing their lives forever.
As some may know, my 4 year relationship with Rachel ended recently. I'm not going to hash out a bunch of details because that wouldn't be fair to Rachel and frankly much of it is the business of no one. Was there frustration? Yes, on both sides. But in the end, we have a child together, and that child is still there even if the relationship isn't. Kylie doesn't disappear because we couldn't make it work.
I don't want it to be like how it is with her other ex, where he's a turd and makes things difficult. Truth is, she's not difficult to work with. We've already discussed a number of scenarios involving dealing with Kylie once we're living separately.
Simply put, it makes more sense for the parents to work together as opposed to against each other. But most struggle with doing that.
But I'm not going to spend a ton of time talking about domestic relations and what could be in regards to my relationship with my ex. What you need to know is it needs to be civil and anyone who comes into my life is going to have to understand that.
Dating is going to be the more tricky thing when the time comes right. Whoever I date is going to not only accept that I have a child, but that my ex is still part of my life being the mother of my child. They aren't going to just be impressing me, but they'll have to impress Kylie. Time is going to be limited and if the woman can't handle that, well, then it isn't going to work.
I'm not going parade one woman after another into Kylie's life. I'm not going to be making rush decisions in regards to dating. Everything will have to be meticulously planned out and the woman will have to realize that my child comes first, no exceptions.
The main thing I've come to realize now is that I'm very ho-hum when it comes to dealing with stuff like dating or anything else potentially stressful. If it's something out of my control, I'm not going to spend a lot of time fretting about it. I will worry about what I can control and go from there.
I'm not going to fall over myself trying to impress a woman. It isn't about that. I'm not going to stress about if I'm going to be able to go out much. It's simply not that important. If someone likes what I'm doing or something about me, great. If they don't, well, keep on moving because I don't have time for that mess.
Seriously though, life can hit you hard and fast. One minute you're thinking about a child-to-be, contemplating how life is going to change, next you're contemplating what life as a single dad is going to be like.
How you handle those changes that come at you will ultimately determine how the situation turns out.
I know this isn't the longest post I've written, but an old friend said hi to me tonight and reminded me how much I used to enjoy writing. I can't promise this means I'll write more, but it was nice to be reminded that some people have really enjoyed my little blurbs from time to time.
I was specifically reminded of the Christmas Lists I used to do each year. I haven't done one since 2011.
It might be time to do a new one.
It might just be time to start anew overall.
I really didn't have any plans of writing, and I certainly don't have a whole lot thought out as I start this, so there's no real way to tell how it's going to turn out.
A lot has happened in my life. There have been minor changes, big changes, and holy-shit I didn't see that coming types of changes. I've grown up a lot in the last 10 years and have learned to take on a new perspective on any number of things that can and probably will happen.
The thing about life is you can never really tell what's going to happen. Even the most stable of individuals will likely have to deal with some kind of adversity at some point. Many will handle it just fine, but some will completely crumble under the pressure, thus changing their lives forever.
As some may know, my 4 year relationship with Rachel ended recently. I'm not going to hash out a bunch of details because that wouldn't be fair to Rachel and frankly much of it is the business of no one. Was there frustration? Yes, on both sides. But in the end, we have a child together, and that child is still there even if the relationship isn't. Kylie doesn't disappear because we couldn't make it work.
I don't want it to be like how it is with her other ex, where he's a turd and makes things difficult. Truth is, she's not difficult to work with. We've already discussed a number of scenarios involving dealing with Kylie once we're living separately.
Simply put, it makes more sense for the parents to work together as opposed to against each other. But most struggle with doing that.
But I'm not going to spend a ton of time talking about domestic relations and what could be in regards to my relationship with my ex. What you need to know is it needs to be civil and anyone who comes into my life is going to have to understand that.
Dating is going to be the more tricky thing when the time comes right. Whoever I date is going to not only accept that I have a child, but that my ex is still part of my life being the mother of my child. They aren't going to just be impressing me, but they'll have to impress Kylie. Time is going to be limited and if the woman can't handle that, well, then it isn't going to work.
I'm not going parade one woman after another into Kylie's life. I'm not going to be making rush decisions in regards to dating. Everything will have to be meticulously planned out and the woman will have to realize that my child comes first, no exceptions.
The main thing I've come to realize now is that I'm very ho-hum when it comes to dealing with stuff like dating or anything else potentially stressful. If it's something out of my control, I'm not going to spend a lot of time fretting about it. I will worry about what I can control and go from there.
I'm not going to fall over myself trying to impress a woman. It isn't about that. I'm not going to stress about if I'm going to be able to go out much. It's simply not that important. If someone likes what I'm doing or something about me, great. If they don't, well, keep on moving because I don't have time for that mess.
Seriously though, life can hit you hard and fast. One minute you're thinking about a child-to-be, contemplating how life is going to change, next you're contemplating what life as a single dad is going to be like.
How you handle those changes that come at you will ultimately determine how the situation turns out.
I know this isn't the longest post I've written, but an old friend said hi to me tonight and reminded me how much I used to enjoy writing. I can't promise this means I'll write more, but it was nice to be reminded that some people have really enjoyed my little blurbs from time to time.
I was specifically reminded of the Christmas Lists I used to do each year. I haven't done one since 2011.
It might be time to do a new one.
It might just be time to start anew overall.
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
The Ups and Downs of Social Media :: Part 3 :: The good, the bad, and the ugly
Previous entries in this series: Part 1 Part 2
The rise of social media, Twitter and Facebook in particular, entered us into a period of unprecedented access, not just to every day Joe, but movie stars, musicians, sports athletes and more.
Unlike Myspace, in which a large collection of friends meant little, a large following on Twitter actually carries some weight. Having tens of thousands of followers meant every tweet was being seen by an extraordinarily large number of people, especially if you were commenting on a subject of issue.
Interactions between various levels of celebrities and non-celebrities became more common-place, which allowed people to see their favorite personality as more of an every day normal person, rather than whatever they actually were. Many celebrities embraced the interaction with their fans and have used social media to connect better with their fans.
It can be a wonderful thing.
Imagine you tweet out to your favorite sports athlete and they actually respond. It seems like such a small thing, but you can sit and tell your friends that your favorite player, even if it were only one tweet, responded to you.
In the gaming forum, developers, publishers, and so on have embraced social media as a way to promote their game by communicating directly to the people who would be most interested in buying their game. Meanwhile, gamers can express their concerns about a game/product/or service with the responsible party and actually get a resolution relatively fast in some cases.
In my own experience, Twitter has immensely helped in resolving issues ranging from my cell phone service (T-Mobile's help account is very useful), my tv/internet service (Time Warner's hit or miss, but they typically at least try), to shipping issues. More often than not, when I've had a problem, someone's responded to at least check into the issue.
The previous types of interaction are part of the "good" side of social media. The interactions with other people can be tremendous. I've definitely enjoyed a majority of the sports aspect of Twitter, as the Cleveland fanbases are pretty solid when it comes to tweeting, even if they get a bit irrational at times. Some of my favorite accounts are those that specifically tweet only about sports.
I've had any number of people tweet at me with suggestions when I've been stumped by something, or just mention that I'm struggling with something. There are a lot of awesome people out there who just want to help, even if they're dealing with their own issues.
Unfortunately, it's not all sunshine and roses. With the good, there often comes the bad, and in this day and age of your voice potentially reaching thousands, if not more, there are many who take pleasure in trying to tear others down.
The bad side of social media is that there are some who are always miserable and will try to rain on your parade. They don't see the good in any situation and simply exist to remind you that not everyone thinks rationally.
For instance, they tend to come out when their sports team is losing. Optimism is replaced with doom and gloom and all the players and coaches need to be fired. They moan about the quality of the team they're watching and think anyone who sees the good is an idiot. They will go so far as to tweet directly at players and badmouth the performance they just watched.
Of course, the gaming community isn't immune to it. Your choice of game, console, or graphical design can become the basis of an attack. On YouTube, people will comment that your video was trash or that you should just stop making videos. If you stream, especially if you're female, you will eventually get inflammatory comments directed your way.
Most people are just being nuisances though and are relatively harmless. They say their obnoxious things and move along. I've even had someone on Twitter demand an apology because I disputed something that he said. I laughed, said no, and never heard from him again.
Unfortunately, there are certain individuals who take "trolling" to a different level. They don't just stop at name-calling, but take it much further. They wish injury, or worse, death on a person because of a disagreement or something else that's trivial. They harass you until you are forced to stop going on your account.
These types of individuals represent the ugly of social media. They are the people who use it simply to spread their hate messages and can be absolutely vicious.
I used to follow someone who had to put their dog down, and one notorious troll essentially called them stupid for caring about an animal so much. Some will tell a sports athlete to go die just because they played poorly. They don't just say nasty things, but come across as absolutely meaning the words they say.
They are the type that take it personal when you decide that you like something that a company did just because they have unwarranted hate towards that company. This is especially true when it comes to "console wars," where people pledge allegiance to the gaming console of their choice (or PC if they are in the "PC Master Race"). If you like Nintendo and they don't, they attack you just because you didn't choose a PS4. It's insane, it's unnecessary, and I keep hoping for it to stop.
Don't even get me started on the gamergate crowd.
They are relentless and if you block them, they will make a new name and continue the harassment. They are the worst of the worst and have no interest in actually engaging in a healthy debate. They make observations and opinions without actually gathering any facts, but who needs facts!
In the end, social media allows us to interact in ways that we never could before.
The question is, how are you using social media?
The rise of social media, Twitter and Facebook in particular, entered us into a period of unprecedented access, not just to every day Joe, but movie stars, musicians, sports athletes and more.
Unlike Myspace, in which a large collection of friends meant little, a large following on Twitter actually carries some weight. Having tens of thousands of followers meant every tweet was being seen by an extraordinarily large number of people, especially if you were commenting on a subject of issue.
Interactions between various levels of celebrities and non-celebrities became more common-place, which allowed people to see their favorite personality as more of an every day normal person, rather than whatever they actually were. Many celebrities embraced the interaction with their fans and have used social media to connect better with their fans.
It can be a wonderful thing.
Imagine you tweet out to your favorite sports athlete and they actually respond. It seems like such a small thing, but you can sit and tell your friends that your favorite player, even if it were only one tweet, responded to you.
In the gaming forum, developers, publishers, and so on have embraced social media as a way to promote their game by communicating directly to the people who would be most interested in buying their game. Meanwhile, gamers can express their concerns about a game/product/or service with the responsible party and actually get a resolution relatively fast in some cases.
In my own experience, Twitter has immensely helped in resolving issues ranging from my cell phone service (T-Mobile's help account is very useful), my tv/internet service (Time Warner's hit or miss, but they typically at least try), to shipping issues. More often than not, when I've had a problem, someone's responded to at least check into the issue.
The previous types of interaction are part of the "good" side of social media. The interactions with other people can be tremendous. I've definitely enjoyed a majority of the sports aspect of Twitter, as the Cleveland fanbases are pretty solid when it comes to tweeting, even if they get a bit irrational at times. Some of my favorite accounts are those that specifically tweet only about sports.
I've had any number of people tweet at me with suggestions when I've been stumped by something, or just mention that I'm struggling with something. There are a lot of awesome people out there who just want to help, even if they're dealing with their own issues.
Unfortunately, it's not all sunshine and roses. With the good, there often comes the bad, and in this day and age of your voice potentially reaching thousands, if not more, there are many who take pleasure in trying to tear others down.
The bad side of social media is that there are some who are always miserable and will try to rain on your parade. They don't see the good in any situation and simply exist to remind you that not everyone thinks rationally.
For instance, they tend to come out when their sports team is losing. Optimism is replaced with doom and gloom and all the players and coaches need to be fired. They moan about the quality of the team they're watching and think anyone who sees the good is an idiot. They will go so far as to tweet directly at players and badmouth the performance they just watched.
Of course, the gaming community isn't immune to it. Your choice of game, console, or graphical design can become the basis of an attack. On YouTube, people will comment that your video was trash or that you should just stop making videos. If you stream, especially if you're female, you will eventually get inflammatory comments directed your way.
Most people are just being nuisances though and are relatively harmless. They say their obnoxious things and move along. I've even had someone on Twitter demand an apology because I disputed something that he said. I laughed, said no, and never heard from him again.
Unfortunately, there are certain individuals who take "trolling" to a different level. They don't just stop at name-calling, but take it much further. They wish injury, or worse, death on a person because of a disagreement or something else that's trivial. They harass you until you are forced to stop going on your account.
These types of individuals represent the ugly of social media. They are the people who use it simply to spread their hate messages and can be absolutely vicious.
I used to follow someone who had to put their dog down, and one notorious troll essentially called them stupid for caring about an animal so much. Some will tell a sports athlete to go die just because they played poorly. They don't just say nasty things, but come across as absolutely meaning the words they say.
They are the type that take it personal when you decide that you like something that a company did just because they have unwarranted hate towards that company. This is especially true when it comes to "console wars," where people pledge allegiance to the gaming console of their choice (or PC if they are in the "PC Master Race"). If you like Nintendo and they don't, they attack you just because you didn't choose a PS4. It's insane, it's unnecessary, and I keep hoping for it to stop.
Don't even get me started on the gamergate crowd.
They are relentless and if you block them, they will make a new name and continue the harassment. They are the worst of the worst and have no interest in actually engaging in a healthy debate. They make observations and opinions without actually gathering any facts, but who needs facts!
In the end, social media allows us to interact in ways that we never could before.
The question is, how are you using social media?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)