The one about a silly TV show

I just spent a significant amount of time looking through past posts to see if I had written about this and didn't see anything, so if I did and I just missed it, oh well.

I also am going to continue to reiterate that I'm not sure how consistent writing will be. There's a part of me that feels like I'm in a transition period with my hobbies again, and it's very well possible that things will shift again without warning.

Buuuuuuut.....

I'm trying to get back to things that used to bring me joy and see if that helps with, well, a lot of things.

I also may remove some old posts. Views have shifted on a number of subjects, especially as I've gotten older and realized some of my younger views were a bit insensitive. I'll be revisiting one of those subjects in the near-future in relation to gaming and what tends to be a hot topic in the gaming space.

The incels will likely be mad.

For now, it's time to take a trip back in time.

The year was 1990. I had a fondness for goofy monster movies (I LOVED the cheesy Godzilla movies) and we came across what seemed like another silly Japanese monster movie. It featured a giant turtle that could breath fire and fly, but at the moment we tuned in, it was doing some gymnastics-style shit that was just goofy to watch. This alone was enough to pull me in, but then some little kid started yelling nonsensically and some random voices yelled "Shut up kid!"

My mom and I looked at each other, perplexed. Who had said that? We then noticed the shadows on the bottom of the screen. A row of what looked like movie theater seats lined it, but on the far right side, there were three extra shadows. One was a man, but the other two weren't. We quickly realized this was where the voices had come from, making the whole thing even more interesting. We watched attentively as the shadows continuously lambasted the movie (which for those who didn't know was part of the Gamera series of movies) before they got up AND LEFT THE THEATER.

We were then treated to a sequence of doors before the camera pulled away to show the interior of a room. The three shadowy figures were now front and center and began having an earnest discussion about the movie they were watching. It was clear that the two non-humans were meant to be robots, but were simply puppets. After a little while, we had some names. The man was Joel Robinson, one of the robots, the gold one with the wire rack and bowling pin for a head was Crow, and the gumball machine one was Tom Servo. The segment was hysterical and convinced us we needed to keep watching. We had discovered our new favorite thing to watch.

We'd eventually find out the show was called Mystery Science Theater 3000 (or MST3K), and I can't state enough the profound effect the show had on me as a child. First, some background info on the show itself.

We'd spend the next few weeks trying to figure out when the show aired. We eventually figured out that Comedy Central aired it every weeknight at midnight, but showed new episodes on the weekend. This was perfect. We'd have a chance to catch up on previous episodes AND see new ones when they came out. I want to say the show was in the middle of its third season at this point, which is when it was really starting to gain momentum (personally I've always considered seasons four and five to be the best). It was Comedy Central's main draw as this was the era before South Park took over (along with all of the other shows it would become known for).

The premise of the show was simple. A man is trapped in space on the Satellite of Love by two evil scientists who hope to take over the world by subjecting it to the worst movie ever made. Joel is the test subject, but he builds some robot companions to help keep his sanity and make fun of the movies instead. The show itself strives to be just as low-budget as the movies it was making fun of, opting to use cheap props and tricks for special effects rather than the trend of fancy visual effects. The show itself was as simple as the movies it was making fun of, but that was part of the charm.

Joel was played by Joel Hodgson, Crow was puppeted by Trace Beaulieu, Tom Servo was manned by Kevin Murphy, and Gypsy was handled by Jim Mallon. On the scientist side, Dr. Clayton Forrester was played by Beaulieu while his sidekick, TV's Frank, was played by Frank Conniff. All of the characters were beloved, but Tom Servo was my favorite. He was snarky, yet sensitive, and while he sometimes made the most sense, he was equal parts ridiculous and loved to sing (and Murphy had a tremendous singing voice). Joel was the father figure while Crow and Tom often acted like children. They were almost always up to no good and often tried to one-up each other.

The show would open with a host segment where the bots were usually up to no good and Joel usually had to defuse a situation. Then the mads would call, there would be an invention exchange, and then the movie would be revealed. Once the movie started, there would be breaks every 30 minutes where Joel and the bots would return to the main section of the SOL, usually to perform a skit based on something in the movie (in later seasons, they'd deviate from this more and more). This would go on until the end of the movie, where afterwards they'd discuss what they learned and the mads would send us off with one more moment of lunacy.

At its core, the show was silly, didn't take itself seriously, and often looked worse than the material they were making fun of. But that was what made it so much fun. It was as much an homage to the idea that anyone could make a movie, even if it was really bad. And there were some REALLY bad movies that they took on.

There would be cast changes, network changes, and a Netflix revival over the course of the show's 14 seasons (including the KTMA public access days), but the jokes were a constant and often centered around both relevant and incredibly obscure pop culture references. You needed to have a little bit of smarts to get all of the jokes, and even then, some would fly over people's heads.

I grew up with the show and I can't state enough how influential its humor was to me. It molded my sense of humor into what it is even to this day. It was also influential in other ways, inspiring shows such as Beavis & Butthead (when they would make fun of music videos), and many fans refer to the art form as riffing (not to be confused with guitar riffs). The show was never super popular, but it was just well-known enough to occasionally creep into the discussion of popular TV shows, especially around season five when the show was arguably at its peak.

I have incredibly fond memories of my mom and I settling down to watch the latest episode during that period of time, relishing in the reprieve from our otherwise tumultuous home life. It was a source of comfort for both of us, even if I didn't get half the jokes they were flinging. I did begin to drift away from the show around season six however. By this point, I was a teenager and was moving towards other interests. Seasons six and seven remain the seasons I'm least familiar with, partly because I didn't watch, partly because the rights for the movies expired and were no longer accessible.

The cancellation still hit hard though. From all accounts, the show was still popular, but Comedy Central was under new management and shows such as The Daily Show and South Park had come into their own. A two hour show that had obscure references just wasn't going to cut it anymore.

While some accepted the cancellation (six seasons is nothing to sneeze at), many didn't and the power of the internet flexed its muscles. People began petitioning other networks, most notably the Sci-Fi Channel, to try and convince them to give the show new life. And wouldn't you know it? It worked. Sci-Fi picked it up and the show returned to us.

But it was different at this point. Conniff had left after season six, which was a sizeable blow (TV's Frank was easily one of the most well-liked characters on the show) at the time, but then Beaulieu left after season seven, leaving a pair of sizeable casting holes. Crow was given to Bill Corbett, while Mary Jo Pehl continued her role as Pearl Forrester, but in an expanded and revamped manner. Murphy picked up a new role as Professor Bobo while Corbett would also play Brain Guy, which would round out the new mad scientists. Mike Nelson, who had replaced Hodgson as the man in space during season five, continued in that role.

It was great to see the gang back and I was revitalized by the show's revival on Sci-Fi. Okay, Bill's puppeteering left something to be desired, but a lot of us were just simply spoiled by how easy Beaulieu had made it look (Crow was easily the most complex of the puppets). As time went on and Corbett adjusted, his version of Crow started to develop and for many, became the best version of the robot. In a lot of ways, I prefer Corbett's Crow because he took an already unhinged character and somehow managed to elevate it a whole new level of unhinged. Most importantly, the show remained fun, even if it had evolved from what I fondly remembered.

I enjoyed the Sci-Fi episodes, particularly once you get about halfway through season eight and into season nine, but like before, I started to drift away from the show again. I didn't see much of season ten and this time, the cancellation felt permanent. I was about to enter my twenties, and a show that had guided me since I was ten no longer really felt relevant. I still loved it and appreciated it, but I had moved on.

And that's where things stayed for a long time. The show was gone and in some ways, being held hostage by Jim Mallon, a former producer of the show. In fact, we'd come to find out Jim wasn't a very good person and was a big reason for a lot of the friction we had heard about over the years. But Mallon eventually gave up the rights to the show and Hodgson, keen to revisit his creation, began a kickstarter campaign around 2015 to try and bring the show back.

And wouldn't you know it, by 2017 the show was back, this time on Netflix. It had a new cast, a much more robust production (the bots were no longer simple puppets but rather complex and required multiple people to operate), and a new slate of movies to roast.

And it landed with a thud for me. 

To be fair, I thought it was great that the show came back and a lot of people seemed to like it. It looked incredible, the people working on it were very talented, but it didn't feel like MST3K. I attempted to watch a couple of the early episodes and ran into the same problem each time. The pacing was just off. It felt like the emphasis was to try and pump as many jokes in as they possibly could and nothing had a chance to breath. The beauty of the original version of the show was in the timing of the jokes, not just the quantity. I was also never a fan of the overly produced style they went with for the rest of the show. Part of MST3K's charm was that it was as low-budget as the movies it was making fun of.

I know it's old man yelling at cloud syndrome though. Plenty of people loved the revival and updates. And there's no doubt there's some fun stuff in there. Plus the revival had Felicia Day in it and she's great in everything. It just wasn't for me.

Which brings me to the reason I'm writing about a show I haven't seriously watched in years. You see, Bill, Mike, and Kevin went on to form Rifftrax, which continued the fine tradition of making fun of movies, but in a different manner. Rather than being on screen, the trio is only heard talking alongside of the movie. They've been pretty successful over the years with it and are just as beloved as the previous MST3K episodes were.

Well, a couple of days ago as of this entry, the trio announced they plan to make four new classic-style episodes of MST3K. They, like Joel prior, were doing so via kickstarter, but they intended on making the episodes regardless of support. They were going to revive it in the older, more traditional MST3K style and would be reprising their original roles as well as bringing back a bunch of the original crew to help make it.

Not only did they hit the original goal within 24 hours, they surpassed it by a ton. I want to say the original goal was $20,000, but the campaign had already passed a million dollars within the first day of being live.

And so yet again, MST3K is coming back again, albeit in a much more abbreviated form. One that's much closer to the form that many of us loved. We don't know what the movies will be, nor do we know what else they have in store. It's only been a little over a day, but even I'm feeling the anticipation already.

MST3K defined so much of who I grew up into. For a while, I wanted to procure the parts needed to build my own Tom Servo. Then I realized half the parts were from obscure toys from decades ago that were already difficult to find and so I gave up on that dream (although I do remember coming across an ebay listing for puppets with alternative parts a while back). I pretended to make fun of movies in my room, mimicking the styles of all of the performers. As a kid, I couldn't wait for the next experiment to see what goofy skit they'd come up with next, and they rarely failed to deliver. They made bad movies fun to watch and provided me a safe space in an otherwise very scary time for me personally.

And yeah, I've missed it. It's hard not to. Bill and Kevin in particular are incredible human beings, especially given what's been happening in their own backyards (Frank has also been very vocal about how he feels about things in Minnesota). It will be great to see them back together and see what they come up with.

And hey, maybe some of my friends will indulge me and check out this silly show and laugh with me when the new episodes come about. If nothing else, I hope people see what this show has meant to me.

After all, a silly little cowtown puppet show might be just what the world needs again.

Join us in circulating the tapes once again, won't you?

Hey, remember that update I promised?

Now that I've expressed my absolute disdain for this administration and how things have been going, I went back and looked at my previous posts and came to realize that it had been over two years since my last post. In fact, my last post was about a situation we were dealing with at the time, a situation I promised an update on.

Then I didn't.

I'm an embarrassment, I know.

Let's recap the summer of 2023 though.

First off, GCX was amazing. I got hang out with my favorite people in the world, meet some of my favorite Destiny 2 creators, and created memories that will last a lifetime.

But prior to that, home life was a bit chaotic. We had been living in that apartment complex for 10 years at that point. We had no problems there, at least with management or maintenance. We kept to ourselves, and aside from a VERY cranky lady when we first moved in, largely had no issues with our neighbors. She was a bitch though. I'll never forgive her for some of the nonsense she put us through very early on.

The complex itself had been fine though. When we first moved in, it was a relatively small operation. A single woman worked the office and wasn't super particular about rules so long as people didn't cause too much trouble. Unfortunately, a larger company bought the complex and she ended up retiring shortly thereafter. Much of the maintenance staff turned over, and new people started working in the office. Things were still relatively tame, but the people who were living in the complex were becoming a bit more rowdy.

We were still left alone though. We had moved in with two dogs and two cats. There had been no issues there whatsoever (the complex even after the change largely didn't care about cats as long as they didn't cause damage) and while we had one incident where I forgot to pay the electric, we otherwise kept our noses clean.

But in early 2023, there was a seismic shift in how things were handled. The entire office staff was replaced with new people, in particular a very nasty woman who sneered at everyone she came in contact with. Almost immediately, you could tell they were trying to cause issues. One of the maintenance guys complained to me about how they were trying to skirt around various rules, going so far as to tell maintenance people to just walk in randomly even if notice hadn't been given.

It wasn't long before I noticed he was no longer around. I don't know if he quit or if he was fired, but given how he felt about how things were going, either reason wouldn't surprise me if we're being honest. I heard from a few residents that management had become very aggressive when it came to inspections and finding problems, so it wasn't that big of a surprise when they came knocking towards us.

It is important to note, they were justified in wanting to check us. Our light fixture had broken in the kitchen, but the night before my dog had eviscerated a piece of cardboard and left a massive mess in the kitchen that I just hadn't bothered to clean up yet. I had no idea they were coming that day, so he walked into a pretty significant mess. I apologized for it, but he apparently complained to the office manager, and she didn't need much reason to go after anyone.

Something we found out later is that they had been targeting anyone who'd been in the complex for an extended amount of time. People who had been living there for years were at the top of the list. Given we had passed over 10 years at the complex, they were losing out on the higher rent that they had started charging. Or at least that's how it seemed. If there's one thing about community, it's that people will start talking when they notice something's amiss. And people were talking at the complex.

In any case, they showed up, made note of a smell, and took issue with our one dog. To be clear, both dogs had been registered when we moved in. Both dogs were in the residential portal that we have no control over. Yet the office manager claimed they had no record of him and would documentation asap. They said they'd be back at a later date to follow-up on the issues.

Then they didn't show.

In fact, a couple of weeks went by before they decided to come back, this time while I was out of town. They then said the same thing, that the dog was not registered, that the apartment stunk, and we had I think a week to get it together. They then didn't come back for several days before finally leaving a notice on the door that they'd begin the eviction process soon.

At this point, we began to investigate options. We felt something was wrong about the whole situation, especially given during all of this, they gave us lease renewal paperwork, but we had to prove it. I started by asking a friend to look at all of our paperwork to make sure we weren't missing something, to make sure they weren't violating something. He immediately noticed a few things, which we made note of. The main thing was they weren't giving the proper 48 hour notice that's required under state regulations when it comes to low-income housing. They also failed to give us a 30-day grace period to fix whatever issue that they had. That alone felt like a victory.

It was also at this point we realized the resident portal aspect of the story. Both dogs were listed at the residence, something the office had to put in as residents don't have access to that portal. That meant someone somewhere at least had the documentation for our dogs. I still believe to this day that she looked at him, went back to the office, and destroyed the documentation. Much like this current administration though, she wasn't very smart and forgot that we could see the resident portal.

My roommate, who years ago was recommended to get the pets registered as Emotional Support Animals for her anxiety, remembered that she had submitted the letter to them years ago and they had never bothered to apply it to our rent (you can't be charged for pets under an ESA in the state of Ohio). She used the initial letter to register the cat, then she spoke to someone about the dogs and was able to register both dogs as well. We began gathering all of the relevant information and decided our best bet was to go above the office manager.

Then we went to pay our rent and realized that they had retroactively added years of pet rent fees to the amount due. One set was for the dog, who had been registered, the other was for Arbalest, our cat, who was now a problem even they had never cared about cats before (yes, I know legally it wouldn't stand up and I know we should've seen it coming, but it still sucked). Instead of paying rent online, which wasn't allowing us to just pay our normal rent, we decided to mail a check in and attach a detailed letter.

This letter pointed out the numerous times that our rights as a tenant had been violated. It pointed out the "loss" of our dog's registration even though he was in the residential portal. It pointed out that she had given the office a letter for an ESA 6 years ago that had never been applied. We came with details, we came with receipts, and then we waited.

About a week or so later, a new notice was posted on our door. It was an apology letter that the manager was clearly forced to write, but didn't want to write. The pet fees had been removed from our account and they were open to us renewing our lease if we so desired. We had been vindicated and felt a tremendous weight lift off of us.

But we were done there. We had been looking into other options the other time, and while options for animals were limited, all of our pets being covered as an ESA meant we had a lot more freedom than most.

We ultimately settled on an apartment complex that we had previously thought we'd never live in given how expensive it was. But we knew someone who lived here who said it was nice, we could afford it, and it would be much, much nicer than where we had been living. It was a very anxious period of time as we applied and waited for approval, but we were ultimately approved and moved in by the end of October 2023.

The previous complex wasn't done trying to hurt us though. As anyone who's lived in a rental knows, you put a deposit down. When you move out, they do an inspection, replace carpet, paint walls, and look for damage. They decided to hit us with around $2k worth of charges after we moved, but didn't itemize anything so we didn't know what they were charging us for. We asked for a list, but they decided to immediately send it to collections instead, which was a choice.

My roommate disputed it on her report, noting that they had only been given a couple of weeks to even consider paying for the charges. The collection was removed shortly thereafter and that was the end of our experience with that apartment complex.

We've been in the current place since, and while it isn't perfect (and is still quite expensive), it's comfortable, it's quiet, and they largely leave us alone. There's a pool that Kylie has greatly enjoyed in the summer, and it's relatively close to everything we need to get to. We've largely left the other place in the past, but I still think about it from time to time. I know we're not the only people they went after, and probably not the only people they screwed over.

And right now, I don't know what the future holds. There's still hope that the housing market will settle down and we can get a house, but that still seems very unlikely at this point. While we did get lucky with our rent increase this past year, I wouldn't be surprised to see a significant increase next time our renewal comes around (somewhere close to the fall). The reality is housing in this country, like most things, is out of control and the government has no interest in doing anything actually meaningful to help with it.

In any case, I promised an update, and while it's over two years late, I at least came through with it. I don't know how much writing I'll do going forward. My best friend has suggested I do this more and I don't disagree with her on that. It was my go-to back in the day when I needed to express feelings, but that was more because I never felt I could talk to anyone about anything. That's less of an issue these days, but could still fill a void when people aren't around for chatting.

The main thing I want to express to those renting is know your rights. Our previous complex tried to screw us over and I'm sure we weren't alone. We had the ability figure out and prove that what they were doing was wrong, but I can only imagine how many people were forced out because they didn't know. And while many of our government agencies have decided that following the law is optional, some still have a little iota of dignity. Not much, but at least a little bit.

That's the update and where things are at the moment. Now it's time for bed and to contemplate my next post, which may end up being about social media. I have a LOT of thoughts about that.

Until next time...

Stand for something or fall for anything

 It's wild to think how things have gone since the November 2024 election. It's also been wildly exhausting.

Just to save some of you from wasting too much time, let's get a few things clear before I get into the meat of what i want to say.

First, I'm not conservative. Not even a little bit. There's nothing with the conservative agenda I agree with. I believe women have the right to choose if they want to have a baby. I believe that all people have the right to live the life they choose to live. I'm not offended by pronouns, nor do I consider anyone's lifestyle choices offensive just because they exist. I believe in empathy, understanding, and helping others. If these things offend you, then I think you need to seriously take a step back and re-evaluate how you view life.

And that's not even all of it. But you get the gist of where I stand, and that's good enough. I'll clarify other positions as I get further into this, but I can't sit back and watch what's been happening and not at least express how I feel about it.

I'll admit it. I didn't think there was a chance Trump would get elected again. I didn't think the American people would stoop to that level again. I didn't even think he should've been able to run given he was a convicted felon. Most felons can't even apply for basic jobs in this country, but I guess it's okay to run for the highest office in the land and people are just like, "yeah, I'm okay with that."

I wasn't. I didn't vote for him the first time, or at any point. See, I already knew what kind of person Trump was. He, in my mind, epitomized the worst of the worst. A liar, misogynistic, bigoted, homophobic, transphobic, and racist. I didn't see him as a successful businessman. I saw him for what he really was: a con artist who was always looking for a quick, easy, and questionably legal way to make money. I thought all of this before I even knew about his involvement with Jeffrey Epstein, which only made things worse because now he was also a pedophile.

It wasn't a difficult choice. Sure, Hilary Clinton was flawed, but she wasn't Trump, who was spending all of his time mocking any and everyone who didn't like him. I also knew, given how much men don't like women in charge, it was very possible Trump would win. The media was obsessed with the idea of him as a president, moreso because I think they saw it as the ultimate ratings bonanza. He already had a reputation as someone who would speak his mind freely, and a lot of the press saw an opportunity to absolutely feed off of it.

Naturally, he won and his presidency mostly consisted of him seeing how far he could push things, how much he could get away with. A lot of it rubbed people the wrong way, but enough liked it that it was feasible he'd win another election. He also from the jump made it clear he wasn't willing to say he'd hand over power peacefully, which should've been one of many, many giant warnings to everyone.

Then COVID happened. The world shut down from a pandemic unlike anything we'd seen in my lifetime. While many countries immediately did what seemed necessary, Trump was reluctant. He almost from the jump tried to downplay it, tried to avoid doing anything of any responsibility. The economy was one of the things he wanted to hang his hat on and he knew a shutdown would be devastating. Yet he relented to pressure and finally shut things down. He even kind of advocated for the vaccine when it was available, although he and many of his Republican cronies quickly changed their rhetoric.

The country found itself embroiled in turmoil. Conservatives railed against having to wear a piece of cloth, claiming it violated their rights. Social media became a haven for bad information spread by people simply angry because a store said wear a mask, or because their job said get the vaccine. People who knew NOTHING about modern medicine, who knew NOTHING about how viruses worked, suddenly professed knowledge they didn't have. And because so many people found their confirmation bias, they believed the lies. They believed that masks didn't work, that vaccines were poison. They protested relentlessly, often threatening violence if policies weren't changed. Videos of mostly white people went viral as they claimed their rights were being violated (they weren't) all because they didn't get their way.

Compounding things was the death of George Floyd, who was brutally murdered by a police officer over what amounted to be a petty crime. People of color, who had continued to endure years of being treated as substandard citizens, finally had enough and demanded change. The Black Lives Matter movement took off in the midst of COVID and added to the rage that was already at a palpable level. It was a pretty awful time all the way through and through, and Trump's inability to handle any of it in an even minorly presidential way ended up being his downfall.

In November of 2020, Joe Biden won the next presidential election, yet all you heard from Trump was that it was rigged. Even now, 5 plus years later, he still continues to try and insist he won the election, this despite not being able to provide any credible evidence of any sort to prove that any fraud took place. This led to the next watershed moment, another one that should've sealed the deal permanently. A large contingent of MAGA voters, convinced and egged on by Trump, descended on the Capitol and started wreaking havoc. They damaged buildings, hurt Capitol police officers (so much for being the party of law and order), and went looking for members of Congress in what felt like an attempt to hurt and/or kill. Trump refused to initially call for them to back off, and instead sought to inflame the situation.

We'd later learn that Trump and his allies made several attempts to try and subvert the results, including calling state officials to try and persuade them to not certify the results in Biden's favor.

That should've been the end of it. That should've ended Trump's political career. Instead, he was given another chance when the Biden Administration failed to pursue things as far as they could've. This would prove to be a catastrophic mistake, as were many other things during Biden's time in office. Instead of Trump ending up in jail (he stole classified documents after all), he was able to evade jail time and the Biden administration ultimately went easy on him and his allies.

Which leads us to how we ended up here today, a couple of days after yet another American citizen was gunned down by ICE agents in Minnesota, marking the third death at the hands of an agency that ultimately has little to no authority legally over US citizens. Even worse is the blatant lying the administration has resorted to in order to try and portray the victims in a horrific light.

It's important to highlight that because I still see so many people defying what video shows in order to paint a narrative that simply isn't true. It isn't surprising, after all this administration has largely operated on falsehoods, illegal actions, and compromising people's rights in order to justify what they've wanted to do. They've made it okay to lie about what happened, even if there's video evidence that shows they're lying.

It has felt for months we've been on the precipice of a powder keg moment, where something finally snaps and all hell breaks loose. People on one side are frustrated with the corruption that's out in the open, while people on the other side are okay with it so long as they feel it will benefit them in some capacity (even if it doesn't). And on January 24th, we moved even closer to that moment.

Alex Pretti was shot and killed by multiple ICE agents, seemingly all because he helped a woman who they had decided to try and push around. While he had a gun on him, he was legally carrying it and had not showed it, contrary to what DHS and MAGA influencers have tried to claim. There's not a single photo, not a single frame of any video that shows him pulling a gun out on ICE, yet in the aftermath, both Kristy Noem and Greg Bovino tried to claim he had done so. He had his phone out, doing what he constitutional protected to do in being a legal observer, but he was not aggressive towards them.

It's pretty clear that ICE, like with Renee Good not too long ago, doesn't like when women are in their way. Alex did what any DECENT human being does and tried to intervene. For his trouble, he was immediately hit with pepper spray at point-blank range, thrown to the ground, then executed in broad daylight. Yes, I'm calling it what it was: an execution. He dared defend a woman, and ICE took it personally. Same as when Renee Good refused to be afraid of them.

While there was one video of Good's death that could, in a very weak manner, possibly show her try to hit the ICE agent, there are several other angles that show the exact opposite and proved that she in fact, wasn't trying to hit him, but get away from him. This led to many conservative pundits claim that the shooter was justified, but that conflicted with DHS rules, and frankly every form of law enforcement that says you don't shoot at a moving vehicle. Worse, the shooter muttered "Fucking bitch" after her vehicle sped away, which isn't exactly going to sound good to any rational person. Those aren't the words of someone who was fighting for their life, but rather someone who was pissed that someone dared defy him.

Except he had no authority over her. He had no right to try and force her out of her vehicle. She wasn't a suspected immigrant, she wasn't impeding him, nor was she aggressive towards him.

I want to reiterate this again: ICE has little authority over US citizens. There are some extreme circumstances where they can order people, but this was not that moment. However, this administration has repeatedly made it clear that it doesn't care about the law, the constitution, or people's rights in general. They've given these agents liberty to act with power they don't actually have. Renee Good died because an ICE agent wanted to control an American and she didn't cower before him. He's a murderer, yet they whisked him away and took all the evidence to prevent the local authorities from being able to investigate.

Does that sound like how law enforcement should work?

Alex was even worse. While you could weakly argue Renee's death from one poor quality angle (one that some influencers sped up to make it look worse), there's no arguing this. He didn't brandish a weapon. He was trying to help someone that ICE was abusing.

They executed him to try and make another point.

Let's also clear up some other points that conservatives have tried to make since they're grasping at anything to justify what happened.

This wasn't a protest, so the whole "why would you bring a gun to a protest" argument is already weak. Then there's the whole Kyle Rittenhouse thing, where he crossed state lines to show up at a BLM protest and actually killed people, but was considered a hero (crazy that racist white people would prop up a racist white boy for killing POCs, but I digress). Never mind that it isn't actually illegal to bring a gun to a protest. Otherwise half of MAGA should've been arrested during COVID for showing up at government buildings with AR-15's strapped to their chests over a mask.

Yes, you're a hypocrite if you think Alex was doing something wrong. No, you won't convince me otherwise.

Some have tried to insist he showed the gun, but the gun never left his holster until one of the ICE agents yoinked it off of him. In fact, this feels pretty blatantly like the reason they decided it was okay to unload on him, as in a video, you can hear someone yell "GUN!" right before the shots ring out. But he never brought it out. Near as I can tell, they didn't ask him about it. They just were pissed he helped someone out, tackled him, saw the gun, and said "that's good enough a reason to shoot him."

But it isn't. He was legally carrying it. They escalated the situation, then tried to make him a scapegoat.

The administration has failed to spin this effectively though, largely because most of them don't seem to know when they've said too much. Kash Patel, the head of the FBI, tried to say it was illegal to carry a gun to a protest (it isn't). Trump himself said only criminals carry guns in the streets (an affront to EVERY supporter of the second amendment, of which most of MAGA is). They labeled him a domestic terrorist, much like they did with Renee, but it backfired. Some tried to claim he had a criminal record, a tactic they tried with Renee as well, although this was immediately refuted. In short, they did everything possible to make him the bad guy.

He wasn't.

Instead, it was revealed he was an ICU nurse for the local VA. He was beloved by his coworkers, many of whom took to social media to share how much he had cared about them. His parents also released a statement directly refuting everything the administration was trying to say.

And it worked. Some on the right start to fold a bit, conceding this was a step too far. Democrats promised to squash the spending bill that was coming their way. Bovino, who argued with people on social media in the aftermath, was relieved of his duty as of this writing. And while the problems aren't solved, it's a positive step.

Here's the thing though, I'm not just trying to relay what happened, I'm here to relay how I feel about it.

I'm angry. I'm hurt. I'm saddened. I'm sickened. This is the United States of America. This has always been a place where people were promised a new life, and yet this administration seems determined to destroy that in every capacity. People who are just trying to get a fresh start are being deported just because they have brown skin. It's an ethnic cleansing, yet many are afraid to say that. They're afraid to say it's fascism, even if that's what it clearly is. And the problems stem from the fact that too many people in this country are intolerant, unable to accept people that are different from them, whether it be ethnically, sexuality, or gender. There's a large swath of White America that thinks we need to go back to when slavery was around, women couldn't vote, and men controlled everything.

I've watched this administration do all sorts of horrific things. Tariffs on products to "punish" countries that don't do as Trump says, yet those tariffs hurt us, Americans. Yet so many conservatives praise them as the prices of everything continues to go up. Y'all screamed about the price of eggs, then put someone in office who decided to screw us all over. I know that it was easy to yell "Fuck Biden," but the reality was the economy was trending in a good direction. Y'all just didn't care because you wanted to be able to yell slurs at people. The president lies to you about the costs of products and you slurp it up because he says mean things that you think are funny and want to say yourself.

They ravaged healthcare, not because they wanted to improve it, but wanted to hurt you further. Measles, a disease that had largely been erased from this country, has been resurgent because y'all are scared of needles and drugs with fancy names. Millions saw their healthcare prices skyrocket because you elected people who'd rather see you suffer than offer up a better system than ACA (Obama-care for the people too dense to realize that). Medicaid recipients saw their benefits slashed or eliminated because they convinced you that people on welfare were stealing from you (while billionaire CEOs continue to steal money from you and you shrug your shoulders).

Then there's the immigration policy. Trump convinced y'all that they were only going to go after the worst of the worst, the criminals. Then they didn't. They went after workers, people who were here legally, people in the process of trying to become citizens, people who were born here, and children. And every step of the way, they lied about the people they were picking up. They argued (incorrectly) that due process didn't apply to "illegals," a term they love to use to scare you because it works. You're scared of something that isn't a problem, at least not to the magnitude they want you to believe. But you don't care, because you yourself are racist. You see people with brown skin and accents being removed from your neighborhood and you cheer. Because you're afraid.

Because you're a coward.

Most recently, the kidnapped a 5 year-old kid, took him to his home, and used him as bait to get his parents to come out so they could be arrested. People who were legally here. The kid was sent to a camp in Texas and still hasn't been returned as of this writing. It's disgusting and if you're okay with this, YOU'RE disgusting. YOU are the worst of the worst.

And here's the thing: this is when I HOPE Heaven and Hell are real because I know exactly where people who agree with this are going. Spoiler: it isn't heaven. You will burn and you'll be left wondering where you went wrong.

The entirety of this immigration policy hasn't been to eliminate criminals. It's an ethnic cleansing that will eventually transition to removing people who don't agree with Trump. He's already expressed a desire to strip people of their citizenship if they say mean things about him.

Really would love to know where all you first amendment people went to by the way. You know, the ones who screamed about their rights when they weren't being violated, yet are being awfully quiet when multiple amendments to the constitution have been repeatedly violated.

I know the answer though. It's never been about right or wrong with you guys. It's always been about what you want to say, how you want to live, and control over how others live. It's why you care about who's getting an abortion even if you don't know the person. And pro-life? Get the fuck out of here with that. You don't care about life. You certainly don't care about children, otherwise you would've done whatever's necessary to stop school shootings.

This has been made even more clear by how quickly some of you decided the Epstein Files were no longer important. The moment that it was abundantly clear Trump was all over the files, you stopped caring. Some even suggested pedophilia wasn't actually that bad. Because you NEVER CARED ABOUT CHILDREN.

NEVER.

So here we sit, at the edge of a potential precipice. On one hand, some of you could actually develop a conscience and actually do the right thing. You could realize that what's happening isn't right and step up. Our elected members of Congress could stop being useless subverts and put an end to all of this. We come out with a chance to turn things around, repair relationships with the rest of the world, and fix the damage that's been done (I've only mentioned a fraction of the things this corrupt administration has done).

Or we tip the other way. Civil War breaks out and millions die. MAGA finds out the hard way that they aren't the only ones who own and know how to use a gun, but it doesn't matter because people on both sides are massacred. Many of you clearly didn't pay attention when the last Civil War was taught. Our bloodiest war wasn't a world war, it wasn't the American Revolution. It was the Civil War, and it wasn't even close. Yet some of you fantasize about that because you think you'll just walk all over people because of a false assumption.

Many of you would happily subject your own children to the horrors of war if it meant owning the Libs, which says an awful lot about what kind of person you are.

I truly hope that isn't where things go though. I already have to have pretty damn difficult talks with my daughter (why are so many people trying to take her rights away, why are women treated as inferior, why are so many people angry at so many people they don't know just because of lifestyle choices?). I should be talking about puberty, her period, potential relationships, and how to navigate into her late teens/early 20's.

Instead I have to explain why masked men are jumping out of vehicles to kidnap people off the street just because they look different. I have to explain why despite us passing the legalization of abortion in this state, our representatives keep trying to undo it. I have to explain why so many people are evil just because they are.

I'm tired. I don't even like writing this, but I'm tired of watching people treat other people like shit just because they can. Who cares if someone is gay? Who cares if someone wants an abortion? Who cares what book someone is reading? Why are you so hung up on what other people are doing in their private lives that you feel the need to try and force them to stop?

Here's another reality: you can't avoid being political.  You can't just bury your head in the sand and hope it goes away. You have to stand up for something, even if it's doing something little. We can't "return to normal" by just sitting on our hands and hoping our government leaders do the right thing. We already know they won't. This administration has proven time and time again they will break the law, ignore judges, and do what they want unless someone actually stops them.

It should make you uncomfortable. It should prompt to rethink what you've been doing. If you look at what's happening and think "yeah, I'm okay with this," then you're on the wrong side of history. You're on the same side as Nazis, which I know you don't like being called (but the shoe clearly fits), but it's the reality. This it the same playbook Nazi Germany used to try and eradicate the Jews. I know you didn't pay attention in history class, but it's all there for you to catch up on.

Secretly, or not so secretly for some of you, you're okay with this. As I said earlier, you're likely racist, homophobic, transphobic, and so on. You think straight white is the only way to go and you don't care what happens to anyone else. And if that bothers you, ask yourself why it bothers you.

Some of you need the introspection.

I'm sure some will get mad at this. Some will detest me. I wouldn't be surprised to find some people I know don't agree with me. I've already removed some people from my various circles because it was clear they supported this regime and the crimes it's been committing.

So, to be clear, I do NOT support Trump or his cronies. This is easily the most corrupt administration I've ever seen. I think it puts what Nixon did to shame. ICE is a government-sanctioned police force that's been given liberty to violate our rights in multiple ways with no repercussions. You can either wise-up and grow a backbone, or you'll watch as we fall further and further into demise.

The choices is yours: stand up for something, or fall for anything.

An update to the apartment saga

Howdy.

Some of you might recall a post I put up a little while back detailing the situation with our apartment complex.

Long story short, they had determined that we were in violation of our lease in that we only officially were permitted one of the dogs and the apartment had a pungent pet odor (aka cleaner). This was back in June, and they had mentioned a follow-up inspection to see if the problems had been fixed.

Well, June ended, July came and went, and there was nothing. No follow-up, no notices, just them handing over lease-renewal information. We found this to be interesting, but mostly normal procedure (although I continue to find it funny that you'd offer lease renewal paperwork to someone you're actively trying to evict).

At this point, there wasn't much interest in renewing, but we felt like if they were going to be backing off, we'd at least consider it.

Well, they didn't actually back off. While I was away in Florida at GCX, they left another notice on the door for a follow-up inspection. The inspection was scheduled for Monday, the day before I got home. This left my roommate in a predicament. She had to work, and Kylie would possibly be home alone. As she did previously, she emailed the office and mentioned she'd be home on Wednesday, if they wanted to stop by then. Otherwise, a kid would be here home alone.

To our surprise, they did in fact show up on Wednesday, however, they provided absolutely ZERO indication that they were going to do this. They didn't respond to the email, nor did they put any notice on the door. They just didn't show on Monday, and instead came by on Wednesday.

I was there for this one.

When I tell you the property manager IMMEDIATELY fixated on the one dog, I mean it. She once again said we were only approved for one dog, then started going on about him being a pitbull and those weren't allowed here. The roommate asked where his paperwork was, and the property manager just kept saying "we don't have it."

She said they'd come back the following Monday, and once again repeated the whole pitbull nonsense to us as she left the apartment, while also making sure to throw out a whole thing about there being a pet odor in the apartment (although she avoided using the word pungent).

We got to work (AGAIN) and got the place cleaned up. We vacuumed, steam-cleaned, dusted, and did all the laundry. We then repeated the process again just to be thorough. The litter boxes weren't bad, but I cleaned those again anyway. We steeled ourselves for whatever nonsense they were going to throw at us.

They didn't show.

They then left us another series of notices, this time telling use to voluntarily leave the premises, otherwise eviction proceedings would begin. After an initial period of shock, my roommate got to work. She started looking EVERYTHING up pertaining to the apartment. We looked at the renewal paperwork. We had a friend look at it too, and this friend noticed some interesting details.

The first thing was the complex was not regularly giving 48 hours of notice to come in. The second, and more important detail, is that under Ohio's low-incoming housing standards, they have to provide 30 days to "cure" any minor violation before they can start threatening with eviction. This had not been officially done.

We also started combing our own records, looking for anything that could help prove that something was amiss with the dog. While we didn't find much, we did notice that the residential portal had both dogs listed. This was helpful because residents can't actually manipulate that, someone in the office had to. This means that when this portal was created 6 years ago, both dogs were registered.

I remain convinced that they either have the "missing" documentation and have been lying about it, or they "destroyed" it when they decided he was a pitbull mix. I will reiterate that both dogs were absolutely registered at move-in 10 years ago.

The real funny thing was when we went online to check some stuff, we noticed $2000 in charges were on our account. None of it was actually rent, but rather pet fees and fines. For both the "unregistered" dog, and for Arbalest. They actually went and charged double sets of fines and fees. This made the stakes for proving that both dogs were registered even higher. Arby we understand. The dog? Not so much.

Additionally, given that my roommate had a letter from her provider that had been given to her 6 years ago recommending a therapy animal, she decided that she was going to register at least the one dog and Arby as Emotional Support Animals (ESA). When registering Ogi, she found she could register both dogs at the same time, so she did that, then registered Arby separately. And before someone starts with the "oh, 3 animals for therapy?" bullshit, yeah. Arby calms down my kid, who does suffer from panic attacks. Ogi calms her sister down, and Shenzie, the other dog, calms mom down.

She then gathered everything she had discovered and started compiling emails. She pointed out all three animals were being registered as ESA's, she pointed out that she had provided a letter to the office 6 years ago about having a therapy animal, she pointed out how Ogi was in the resident portal, which means he was documented at least 6 years ago. She pointed out how they weren't abiding by the low-income housing standards, as well as a few other things that had been discovered.

She sent all of that in.

A few days later on a Tuesday, there was a notice on the door that there was going to be an inspection the next day (once again violating the 48 hour notice section). The inspection notice only listed "pet odor" as the reason behind the inspection, which was interesting since there was so much fixation on the one dog. So Tuesday night, I vacuumed and steam-cleaned the carpet again. We made sure everything was in good order. I was tired, but felt good about the condition of the apartment.

They did not come by.

A few days after that, there was another notice in the door. This was congratulating us on our anniversary of being in the apartment, and a reminder to send back the paperwork indicating if we were going to be renewing the lease or not.

It was so bizarre.

Now, in no way shape or form are we of the belief that we're in the clear. After all, the initial lease renewal paperwork was in between an inspection and the eviction threat. But this whole situation reaffirmed that we weren't going to stay here.

Kylie's mom applied for a mortgage and was granted an initial preapproval. There was an attempt at including me to try to bump up the preapproval, but my credit is truly in the dumpster right now, so it didn't really help (we'd need double the current down payment we could provide). But she has an initial approval, which means the process of looking for a house could begin. Whether we find something that fits what we'd want that we could move into before November remains to be seen, but we're at least able to look.

There are two back-up options if it doesn't work out though. There's a townhouse up for rent down the road which would work, plus another apartment complex we could theoretically go to. While we don't want to rent, if we have to, we will. It'll cost more, but it would also provide more space. The hope is to find a house though. We don't mind a bit of a project (in fact, we've often talked about preferring something that needs a little love that could infused with our own unique take), but the foundation, electric, and plumbing needs to be in good order.

We'll see how this shakes out, but for now, here's hoping that the complex has at least decided to back off for the next couple of months. I'm fully expecting another notice to be in our door though, since that's been the trend.

I'll post another update when we have some sort of idea what's going to happen next.

Life Update 2023 Edition

It has been quite a while, hasn't it?

When I decided to update the appearance of this blog with the idea of occasionally posting again, I hadn't really noticed how long it had actually been since I last updated this. I knew it had been some time, but seeing 2019 as the last time I posted here was pretty eye-opening.

It isn't because I have had nothing to talk about. Quite the opposite really.

See, the idea of a blog was much more appealing several years back before I started really dabbling with YouTube and even livestreaming over on Twitch. I built-up a rather decent tech YouTube channel (that I've since abandoned for a few reasons, but would like to resume soon), started dabbling with gaming content again, and even streamed a bit on Twitch, reaching affiliate status several months ago.

The blog, as a result, fell to the wayside. Is this an actual attempt to bring it back? That's to be determined, but I felt like this was an opportune time to use it. I could put this all into video form if I want (and I still may), but I feel using YouTube would, uh, cheapen the message I'm trying to convey. It probably doesn't, but in my mind, that's what would happen.

I also want to preface this by saying that when I get into current events later on, you know, the main reason I'm actually posting this, I'm not doing so as a plea for help. I'm not asking for help in any capacity. I'm simply expressing the current situation for people who have likely been wondering what's truly going on behind the scenes, as I've been fairly vague about how potentially severe things could possibly get.

The reason I haven't fully detailed things is because it isn't entirely known what is going to happen and I don't like to worst-case-scenario things publicly. A large part of this is because I know there's always someone who has it worse than me, and most of my issues are very much first-world issues. This was reinforced today by seeing two different people with homeless signs near the shopping center by our apartment. It could ALWAYS be worse. Another part is my stubborn mentality that we'll find a way through whatever potentially comes our way.

I just want it to be clearly laid out the intentions behind this post. I know someone will inevitably claim it's a way to ask for help, but I'm not. I am incredibly stubborn in this matter as I don't like asking or receiving help. I was recently gifted a special edition Switch from a friend for helping with content creation that I was reluctant in my acceptance of. It's in my nature, so again, I'm not doing this to ask for help. I'm doing this for transparency for people who I know genuinely care (and to avoid repeatedly explaining the situation repeatedly).

Before that though, let's talk about some other stuff first. I don't post as much on social media as I used to. This is very apparent on Facebook, I site I keep simply because it allows me to keep tabs on long-time friends, classmates, and family. I only have about 90 friends or so on there, so it's a small list compared to some, and I'm okay with that. I maybe post once every 3-4 months, which I know disappoints some who want to see more of Kylie and such, but I'm quite deliberate in what I post where for a reason (which is going to feel awkward when it's pointed out that she's appeared in several streams and YouTube videos). I don't do much on Instagram or Snapchat either, mostly because I don't take a ton of pictures, and the ones I do almost inevitably have something in there I don't want being out in the public (personal info and such).

Even Twitter, I site that I used to post extensively on, has been used less and less of late. Some of this is because of Elon being an absolute snake and taking something that, while not great, was at least moderately functional, and turning it into an even bigger pit of despair than it already was. I absolutely hate what he's done with it and yet it's still the easiest way to find and convey information, although a vast amount of it is fake.

I'm not even going to delve into all the nonsense that the site has encouraged with conspiracy theories, but I'll say this much as a catch-all: I believe women should be able to choose what they do with their bodies and that abortion is healthcare, I believe LGBQTIA+ deserve better and we need stop trying legislate them out of existence just because you don't know what else to be scared of, stop trying to shove religion into schools (while simultaneously complaining about drag shows and trans rights being shoved in your face), stop demeaning teachers, stop trying to white-wash history because poor white people feel bullied, and so on. I could actually go on for a while, but I already feel my blood pressure starting to rise, so I'm going to stop.

Oh, and vaccines are good. Stop with this nonsense. Joe Rogan trying to debate AN ACTUAL FUCKING HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONAL SHOULD NOT BE A THING.

Anyway, I digress.

Hell, remember when I liked sports? Social media ruined that for me, first with fantasy sports, then later with every single anonymous account attacking players and coaches when something didn't work out, as if they could do better. Everyone is an expert on everything and nuance is dead (this also applies to real-world stuff as people take an all-or-nothing approach to EVERYTHING).

So I lay back and watch things unfold. I pay attention to how people react and then take note if they backtrack or hold firm. I see a lot of tweets, but rarely interact anymore unless it's someone I deem a close friend, and even then, I miss half of them because Twitter has been such a shit-show when it comes to the technical side. I've found myself disappointed, but rarely surprised when I find out someone has been secretly a piece of shit human and it slips out for all to see.

More than anything, I'm tired of the bullying. I'm tired of people telling other people how to live, or how wrong they're doing things. I'm tired of the name-calling when people don't agree on something, and I'm tired of people just being shitty in general just because they don't agree. I don't care if you're conservative or not, but I will decide to remove you from my life if I find you constantly posting antagonizing shit because you think it's funny. I'm not going to try and change you or convince you that you're wrong, but frankly, it's not likely to change things and I'M FUCKING TIRED.

What have I been up to though? Well, about two years ago, I was getting really into Destiny 2, but was tired of doing a bunch of things solo because I didn't have a lot of friends playing the game, and the ones that did were somewhat inconsistent. So in August of 2021, I began searching Twitch in the hopes of finding a community that showed some promise and give me more opportunities to do things like raids, dungeons, and Grandmaster Nightfalls. The first few channels I checked didn't cut it, but then I bounced into Alltimebrianna's stream, and was immediately struck by how engaging she was with her chat, as well as how engaging chat was too. It felt it held potential, so I joined the discord and started watching as many streams as I could.

At first, things didn't really change much, and that was okay. I was still working on figuring out the vibe and where I could fit in with the community. I did get a chance to do both a Pit of Heresy dungeon run with B and another member of her community, Mainpayne, and that experience was solid. I later then got to do Shattered Throne with her and FliptheGiant, and that's going to be important later. Beyond that, I didn't participate a ton, but was always there.

Fast forward a few months, around January 2022, and things started to change. I was invited to do a couple of raids that I hadn't done before, and the vibe was good enough that Flip later would message me about possibly doing my first GM. This is when I officially started running things with what would become known as the Trifecta of Chaos (myself, Flip, and FollowMeImFaded). We vibed immediately and things were never the same for me in this game.

I began getting pulled into more stream-related activities, at first because Flip would bring me along, but later because B would directly ask me. I incorporated myself into what would become a very tight-knit group of people within the community as time went on, and it was still just the beginning.

I'm not going to spend a lot of time gushing about it, but I think this community is one of the best in all of gaming, if not THE best. Sure, it's easy to say that as I get the privilege of spending a lot of time with these goobers on a daily basis, but it is easily one of the best things that's EVER happened to me in gaming, and aside from a few things, in life. I truly can call some of these people some of my best friends now, and I look forward to meeting them all at GCX in August 2023 (right before my two year anniversary conveniently enough).

I'm also privileged enough to be B's video editor for her YouTube channel, something that I need to spend more time focusing on, but as you might have gathered, time isn't always on my side. But it's an opportunity I'm blessed to have been given and I enjoy creating new videos for her channel and I'm excited to see us push forwards towards potential YouTube partnership, as well as partner on Twitch.

This does mean I've put significantly less time towards my own content creation, which I want to be clear I am NOT complaining about. If I had to choose, I'd rather help someone else create content all day and night. The idea of being a full-time video editor is intriguing, but is far too much of a risk right now for me to seriously consider. But if that chance did arise, I'd jump at it. As it stands, I just need to devote a few hours a week to her content and we'd be good. I just have to do it.

Of course, I still have a kid to focus on, and Kylie is a continued source of joy for me. She's now 10 and seeing this awkward mess of limbs pursue karate has been one of the most interesting things I've watched happen. She genuinely loves it though, and it's the one thing aside from video games that seems to have stuck with her. The other major development with her is a rising enjoyment of rollercoasters. She's terrified of heights, yet despite that, has ridden most of the coasters at Cedar Point now. She recently conquered Rougarou and expressed it to be one of her new favorites along with Gatekeeper and the new Wildmouse ride that opened.

The best part? She's now keeping her eyes open going down the first hill, which is a MASSIVE development. She previously would keep them closed until after the first hill, which is when she'd open them. But with this last trip, she kept them open for the entire time on all of the coasters we rode. Proud doesn't begin to sum up how I feel about this kid and I hope she continues to try and do big things, despite growing up in a world that's again becoming increasingly hostile towards women.

As an aside, with the recent news that some parents/grandparents have decided to determine that women with short hair are actually trans men and try and get them inspected at events, I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DARE ANY OF YOU ASSHOLES TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT HER. Kylie has had shaved sides and shorter hair on top for years now and I dare any of you inconsiderate transphobic assholes to say something. You WILL regret it. I would die for that kid and that's all you need to know the lengths I'd go to defend her.

She also does know karate, so I would absolutely let her unleash her fury upon you and maybe even hold you down. Keep that in mind. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

Now, for the difficult stuff.

First, some backstory. When we moved in 10 years ago, we came with two dogs and two cats. This was not a problem and at the time, the cats didn't have to be registered, but the dogs did. They were both registered and compliant with the lease requirements as far as we knew. Granted, 10 years is a long time and it's highly likely that the requirements have changed, but we've never been presented with any indication of that.

As an aside for anyone unfamiliar with my living situation, I share this apartment with Kylie's mom, who is my ex. We get along great as friends and coparent like champs, and it's allowed me to stay close to Kylie for her entire life. As it stands, she is the primary resident on the lease, which is important for later on.

It has not been a pleasant last few weeks however. The apartment complex management has suddenly become a bit more hostile towards its residents and we've come into their focus of late. We recently had a notice on our door, conveniently placed at 3pm on a Friday, indicating it had been brought to management's attention that our apartment wasn't up to their standards and they'd be performing an inspection the following Monday. This left virtually no indication of what the actual problem was, and left us with very little time to prepare. That said, we did what we could and left it up to fate.

They didn't actually get in until Wednesday when no one was home, and we didn't get the results until Friday (a week after the initial notice). This is when we were hit with a bit of a sucker punch. The letter claimed we were in violation of the lease in that we were only allowed to have one dog and if we didn't remove the unauthorized animals immediately, we'd be evicted. Again, this notice was placed late in the day on Friday. It also made note of a "pungent pet odor," which was interesting given we had deep cleaned the carpet in particular, but it was clear they were focused on the number of animals (they noted two dogs and a cat).

Now, Kylie's mom has some pretty severe anxiety, which means she prefers to communicate through email when possible, and her anxiety was through the roof in this situation. We noticed that the "copy" of the lease they presented was just the final page that she signs, and there was no indication there of how many animals were permitted. This was noted in her email to the management. She also asked when the pet policy changed as when we moved in, this wasn't an issue and we moved here specifically because they allowed two dogs and didn't care about the cats.

They have not responded as far as I know, and as of this post, it's been two weeks since they threatened eviction. At this point, we're entirely anticipating it could happen, which has meant formulating plans in case it does. The dogs are the biggest issue in those situation, as most places that rent will only allow one at max, but it does seem like there's at least one option. The less-desirable one, and the one that would be hardest to achieve because of how things are for me right now financially, is me getting a place of my own and taking at least the one dog with me.

Financially, this is a challenge. My credit isn't good because of high credit utilization on my cards (largely due to kidney stone issues I had a couple of years back), which I've been unable to drag down. Combine that with some other stuff that I will not get into too much detail with (car payment and such), it's been a battle. There is a light at the end of the tunnel as I'll be done with one thing I've been paying on in November, which would free up some money, and my car lease being up in February could possibly alleviate some issues, but for the short-term, I don't have a lot of wiggle room. I do have inheritance money from my grandfather coming, but that's on hold as my uncle put my dad's middle initial on the check and the bank wouldn't accept it. I sent it back to him and am awaiting a corrected check.

There are other possible options of course, which I will not lay out here, but the hope was to manage until November and get a little breathing room there. I'm still hoping for that, but the stark reality here is even if they don't actually evict us, it's very unlikely they offer a lease renewal, which would still mean attempting to find a place by November regardless.

Yes, it's stressful, but thankfully, my child and my friends have helped make this far more bearable. Kylie is a natural stress reliever in she's just a good kid, and my friends have offered me a respite from the stress by providing a ton of laughter. In the end, what happens is what happens. I can only control so much, and I recognize that. What I can do is occasionally stream more, as I did just receive a payout from Twitch that caught me by surprise (thanks to those who stayed subbed even though I haven't streamed in over four months). I could put some effort into either YouTube channel and see what happens there.

But for now? I'm going to try and focus down one credit card and try and get that under control. Medical expenses from my kidney stone ordeals did the damage there, but I was also lax in getting it back under control when I had the chance to.

As with life in general, I take things one step at a time and adjust to whatever it throws at me (and us). Again, this isn't for a pity party, but rather just to provide some context and info for anyone wondering why some days I just might not be myself, or even around at all. I know there are people who care and I don't want them to be left wondering what the hell is happening.

Also, this is way longer than I anticipated, but here we are.

It's been quite a while since my last post, and while I can't promise I'll regular post here, I just may start using it again. We shall see.

A little (long) blurb about sports

*Caution - this will be long*

Sports used to be important to me.

I used to watch all the games. I used to post about them on social media quite frequently. If it involved the Indians, Cavs, Browns, or Buckeyes, I was all over it.

This was a deep-rooted thing within me, something that had been instilled in me at a very young age. I was raised on Cleveland and Ohio State sports and that has never gone away.

But it isn't significant anymore.

I still pay attention and still occasionally watch games, but rarely do I go out of my way to watch. I'm more likely to glance at the score on my phone and see what people are saying on Twitter than to actually watch. I've been transitioning in this regard since 2016.

Prior to that though? I watched all the games. I was invested in them. I hung on every last play, watched until the inevitable heartbreak occurred.

It occurred often.

The tragedy of Cleveland sports has been played over and over again. At least, it used to be. It's kind of died down since June of 2016. At least it seems that way to me. Maybe the sports montages still play, but because I'm not watching much anymore, I don't see them.

It's just funny when I think about how invested I used to be, how angry and upset these games would make me. I see others reacting that way now and I just can't let myself get that way anymore. It consumed me at times, sometimes to the point of breaking me when the inevitable bad thing would happen.

Consider this: I'm not quite old enough to remember Red Right 88 (I wasn't out in this world just yet), but "The Drive," The Fumble," and "The Shot" are all things I remember vividly. I was jumping up and down when it appeared Ernest Byner was running into the end zone when he fumbled. I didn't even know he fumbled until I saw the Denver Broncos players celebrating, at which point it hit me like a bag of bricks: they were going to lose and fall short of the Super Bowl again.

I lost it. I was just a kid, but it stung. It stung bad.

The Drive didn't feel good either, but I don't think I was as emotionally invested at that point because I was maybe 5?

The Shot, when Michael Jordan hit a game winning jumper in game five against the Cavs, was also painful. The Cavs were great that year and Jordan wasn't quite, well, Jordan at that point. This was the moment that catapulted him to the stardom that he eventually achieved, all while dooming the Cavs to being second fiddle in the East while the Bulls took the mantle from the Detroit Pistons.

It was unfortunate really. Mark Price, Brad Daugherty, Larry Nance, and company were good. They played beautiful basketball and could've had a run of dominance, but that Jordan fellow instead blew up into one of the greatest players to ever play the game, and the Cavs truly didn't have an actual window again until the first Lebron era.

The Indians during this stretch of the late 80's and early 90's were straight trash, more likely to lose 100 games than make the playoffs. I still remember going to a bunch of games (including Nolan Ryan's last appearance in Cleveland), but there was nothing memorable about them. The season was often over by June and it was time to look forward to the Browns and Cavs.

The Browns were my team though. Bernie Kosar, Byner, Kevin Mack, Webster Slaughter, Reggie Langhorne, Michael Dean Perry, Clay Matthews, Frank Minifield, Hanford Dixon, and so on were the toast of the town for a few years. They were good, they were fun, they were constantly in the mix for the playoffs. They had 3 AFC Championship game appearances, all against the Broncos, all losses. It always felt like they were right there, but couldn't quite get over the hump.

Like the Cavs.

Kosar was my favorite player on the Browns, Price was who I emulated when I played basketball. The Indians? Well, they always had Cory Snyder, right?

Then things shifted. The Browns started to struggle a bit, Kosar was benched, and eventually the team was moved to Baltimore because Art Modell somehow couldn't make money with the most profitable franchise in the city and was also mad because his team didn't get a new stadium first. Bill Belichick, who was the coach at the time of the move, was let go by the newly christened Ravens. We know how that story turned out. We also know how the Ravens became the dominant defensive team of the 2000's and won a Super Bowl.

Meanwhile, the Cavs fell into mediocrity under Mike Fratello and became mostly forgotten until Lebron James came around. The Indians though, well, they took advantage of the situation and became a powerhouse for several years.

This was the next stage of sports depression though. The Indians made the World Series in 1995, but couldn't handle the pitching of the Atlanta Braves and fell short, losing in six games. It felt like they'd be back though as the core of the team was set to return in 1996.

But baseball is funny and sometimes things take weird turns and the Orioles bouncing the Indians in the opening round in 1996 was not fun. It felt like the Indians thought they'd just show up and advance, and the Orioles took advantage and outplayed them.

They took advantage of a weak division in 1997 and made the playoffs again, but no one expected them to do much. Yet they made it to the World Series again and this time, they were in prime position to win it all. There are stories of how the champagne was already getting set up in the locker room when Jose Mesa infamously blew the most important save of his career, giving up the lead in the bottom on the ninth in game 7. The then Florida Marlins went on to win in extra innings.

That one perhaps stung the most. The Indians were right there. They had it won. The celebration was going to happen. Then it was ripped away in an unfortunate moment. I know a lot of the fan base was mad at Mesa, but the guy had been one of the best closers in baseball for a while. It sucked, but the sports gods didn't think it was Cleveland's time again.

The Indians never got back to the World Series with that group and wouldn't see the fall classic again until 2016. They had some good teams and some interesting runs, but the team of the mid-nineties never managed to pull it off.

The Browns leaving in 1995 was one of the most insane things I ever witnessed as a sports fan. It felt like it was impossible that it could happen, but there was Modell, gleefully displaying how happy he was to move the team to Baltimore. A football town had its team ripped away from them in the most unthinkable way imaginable. 

The void left was strange and while the Indians managed to capture the attention of most of the fans, the Cavs weren't great during this time. The announcement of the Browns returning was great news, but the fact that they were being rushed back for 1999 made me nervous. It felt like a real short period of time to try and put things together.

Sure enough, opening night 1999 against the Pittsburgh Steelers confirmed this as the Browns were rolled and the plan to bring Tim Couch along slowly was tossed out the window. He was the first in a long line of quarterbacks ruined by the Browns, and perhaps, the most talented. I still feel like he could've been a good NFL quarterback, but the first few years really ruined him.

The Browns though. How bad have they been since they came back in 1999? One playoff appearance, two winning seasons, and one infamous winless season. Nevermind the incredible list of quarterbacks and head coaches that have come through. Every time there is a glimmer of hope, that hope is then destroyed by all sorts of calamities.

Even last year's season of hope has been followed up with a train wreck, but more on this current season later.

The Browns have been horrific though. While most other teams at least show occasional glimpses of competence, the Browns muddle about, not in mediocrity, but in mostly despair. They have been historically bad at times and most of the season is spent wondering who they'll draft the following spring.

Thankfully, the Ohio State Buckeyes came through on the championship front, winning it all in 2002 against the Miami Hurricanes, a game that most thought the Buckeyes would get destroyed in. Instead, they played solid on both sides of the football, and with a little help, managed to pull off the upset. It was fun, but it didn't feel as significant as it would have if a Cleveland team had won something. It was still fun.

Then, in 2003, the Cavs started to give us hope with the arrival of Lebron James. He was the superstar that we had never really experienced, a player who even at a young age, felt like a generational player. He was easily the most gifted athlete the city had seen in several years, and he was our own. If anyone was going to bring a championship to the city, it was him, right?

Kind of.

They did make it to the NBA Finals in 2007. It was the first appearance for the franchise and it felt like an indication of things to come.

Again, kind of.

The first Lebron era was weird. It had that peak in 2007, then kind of disintegrated. The last two years he was here the first time around, the Cavs were great in the regular season, but bowed out of the playoffs early. Each time, it felt more and more likely that something very Cleveland-like was going to happen.

In 2010, it happened. The Decision, as it was called, which was when LeBron announced he was going to Miami. It was for most, crushing, but for me, it didn't feel like much. I had expected it, and while it sucked the way he delivered the news, it wasn't the jarring experience. I certainly didn't burn any jerseys, but hated that people went to that extreme (seriously, why burn things like that?).

That was a lean time in Cleveland. The Indians weren't very good (I believe these were the Manny Acta years, but I'm not researching it; I just know they were bad), the Cavs were awful (even after Kyrie Irving was drafted), and the Browns were finding new ways to make the fans miserable. Even the Buckeyes hit a rough patch for a bit there before Urban Meyer became the coach and righted the ship.

While the Browns have continued to Browns over the last several years, last year excluded somewhat, the Indians started showing signs of life in 2013. They drafted well and managed to build up some nice, young talent that got them on a run that was pretty good until this last season.

The real turning point though was the Cavs getting LeBron back for his second stint to go along with Irving and the newly acquired Kevin Love. That team was fun, if not a bit melodramatic. It began a string of 4 consecutive trips to the NBA Finals, something that was unheard of in previous years.

The first one was a strange one to me. Love had been lost to injury in the first round, then Irving went down in overtime of game one of the Finals, leaving the team severely depleted. Despite that, they went up 2-1 before the Golden State Warriors realized Matthew Dellavedova shouldn't be causing them fits and won the next three games. Most fans lamented on what could have been if Love and Irving had been healthy. The team had been dominant in the second half of the season and the Warriors weren't quite the juggernaut they were about to become yet.

The following season, David Blatt was fired as coach after a 30 point beating by the Warriors, handing the job to Ty Lue, who did a nice job refocusing the team. They mostly coasted to the Finals, only losing twice to the Raptors in the Eastern Conference Finals before pretty much demolishing them in the final two games.

The stage was set for an epic rematch with the Warriors in the Finals again.

Then they lost by 30 in game one. Then they got destroyed in game two. Irving and Love were pretty bad and it suddenly seemed like we were caught in the midst of another juggernaut. Remember, this was the year the Warriors were 73-9 and virtually unstoppable. I didn't feel good about it and was resigning myself to the fate that was coming.

Then the Cavs won by 30 at home. It was a complete role reversal. Everyone played well and it seemed like the Cavs had found something that worked against the Warriors.

At least until the second half of game three when the Warriors countered and managed to come from behind to win. However, Draymond Green couldn't keep his feet to himself and attempted a crotch shot on LeBron that ended up getting him suspended. Warriors fans will try to convince you that Green was innocent and didn't deserve a suspension, but the NBA had warned him about his flailing feet after some shenanigans against Steven Adams of the Thunder in the previous round.

The Warriors and their fans had all kinds of jokes and comments about the suspension and LeBron and seemed to think that the series was pretty much over since it was back at Oracle Arena, where the Warriors had been difficult to beat. But the Cavs, more specifically, LeBron and Kyrie, weren't interested in the story ending there.

They both scored 41 points and LeBron followed that up with another 41 in game six as the Cavs won both games to force a game seven. I felt content as a fan at this point. They had battled back, made the series interesting, and had shown they weren't going to give up. It was perhaps the most pride shown by a team that I could remember, which made it easier to deal with game seven.

I didn't really watch much of it. I instead kept watching Twitter and the score on my phone. The ebb and flow of the game was tremendous, but I couldn't watch it. I refused to watch what could've been a celebration by the Warriors. The only way I was going to turn that TV on was if it was certain the Cavs were going to pull it off.

The game went by and the back and forth was incredible. Neither team could really separate and a series that had been defined by blowouts was as close as could be in the deciding game. Then LeBron had the block, Irving made the game-changing three pointer, and Love forced Steph Curry into a bad shot. They were right there, with the ball, and a chance to seal the deal.

It was nearly spectacular. I turned it on right as LeBron attempted to destroy Green with a dunk, only to get fouled. His first free throw was short, and the nervousness started to creep in. This is how things fall apart. Missed free throws leave the door open to the greatest three point shooting teams ever, and they never miss in those situations. Yet LeBron made the second free throw.

The game was essentially over.

Yes, weird stuff could happen, but the Cavs were careful. They defended, but didn't foul until about 6 seconds left, which was okay because it wasn't a shooting foul. The Warriors were down four with 6 seconds to go, something that they couldn't even overcome. Curry's three was off, Mo Speights missed his shot, the horn sounded, the city celebrated.

Why detail all these moments? Because this is when everything changed on how I viewed sports. I had watched the Cavs win it all. The misery was no more for me.

I suddenly didn't care as much.

Sure, I followed as the Indians went on their own surprise run to the World Series, falling just short again, but it didn't sting like it did in 1997. Sports just weren't as important anymore suddenly.

Which leads me to the state of the current Browns. I'm indifferent to it. I go on social media and see people angry, frustrated, sad, and complaining about the team. I just shrug my shoulders and go back to what I was doing.

I can't get worked up by it anymore. Disappointing Indians season? I have Destiny 2 to play. Browns looking like poo with all the talent they have? I have a kid who wants to play Stardew Valley with me. Cavs? They're bad but kind of fun, so eff it.

The point is, sports just aren't the same to me anymore. Sure, they're fun to watch and I still root for my teams, but the emotional impact isn't the same. I just enjoy watching sports in general and appreciate good teams.

I think most get too worked up by sports, but I can't blame you if you're one of them. I was once that person. I'm not anymore.

Sports used to be very important. Now I just relax and enjoy things for what they are.