*Caution - this will be long*
I used to watch all the games. I used to post about them on social media quite frequently. If it involved the Indians, Cavs, Browns, or Buckeyes, I was all over it.
This was a deep-rooted thing within me, something that had been instilled in me at a very young age. I was raised on Cleveland and Ohio State sports and that has never gone away.
But it isn't significant anymore.
I still pay attention and still occasionally watch games, but rarely do I go out of my way to watch. I'm more likely to glance at the score on my phone and see what people are saying on Twitter than to actually watch. I've been transitioning in this regard since 2016.
Prior to that though? I watched all the games. I was invested in them. I hung on every last play, watched until the inevitable heartbreak occurred.
It occurred often.
The tragedy of Cleveland sports has been played over and over again. At least, it used to be. It's kind of died down since June of 2016. At least it seems that way to me. Maybe the sports montages still play, but because I'm not watching much anymore, I don't see them.
It's just funny when I think about how invested I used to be, how angry and upset these games would make me. I see others reacting that way now and I just can't let myself get that way anymore. It consumed me at times, sometimes to the point of breaking me when the inevitable bad thing would happen.
Consider this: I'm not quite old enough to remember Red Right 88 (I wasn't out in this world just yet), but "The Drive," The Fumble," and "The Shot" are all things I remember vividly. I was jumping up and down when it appeared Ernest Byner was running into the end zone when he fumbled. I didn't even know he fumbled until I saw the Denver Broncos players celebrating, at which point it hit me like a bag of bricks: they were going to lose and fall short of the Super Bowl again.
I lost it. I was just a kid, but it stung. It stung bad.
The Drive didn't feel good either, but I don't think I was as emotionally invested at that point because I was maybe 5?
The Shot, when Michael Jordan hit a game winning jumper in game five against the Cavs, was also painful. The Cavs were great that year and Jordan wasn't quite, well, Jordan at that point. This was the moment that catapulted him to the stardom that he eventually achieved, all while dooming the Cavs to being second fiddle in the East while the Bulls took the mantle from the Detroit Pistons.
It was unfortunate really. Mark Price, Brad Daugherty, Larry Nance, and company were good. They played beautiful basketball and could've had a run of dominance, but that Jordan fellow instead blew up into one of the greatest players to ever play the game, and the Cavs truly didn't have an actual window again until the first Lebron era.
The Indians during this stretch of the late 80's and early 90's were straight trash, more likely to lose 100 games than make the playoffs. I still remember going to a bunch of games (including Nolan Ryan's last appearance in Cleveland), but there was nothing memorable about them. The season was often over by June and it was time to look forward to the Browns and Cavs.
The Browns were my team though. Bernie Kosar, Byner, Kevin Mack, Webster Slaughter, Reggie Langhorne, Michael Dean Perry, Clay Matthews, Frank Minifield, Hanford Dixon, and so on were the toast of the town for a few years. They were good, they were fun, they were constantly in the mix for the playoffs. They had 3 AFC Championship game appearances, all against the Broncos, all losses. It always felt like they were right there, but couldn't quite get over the hump.
Like the Cavs.
Kosar was my favorite player on the Browns, Price was who I emulated when I played basketball. The Indians? Well, they always had Cory Snyder, right?
Then things shifted. The Browns started to struggle a bit, Kosar was benched, and eventually the team was moved to Baltimore because Art Modell somehow couldn't make money with the most profitable franchise in the city and was also mad because his team didn't get a new stadium first. Bill Belichick, who was the coach at the time of the move, was let go by the newly christened Ravens. We know how that story turned out. We also know how the Ravens became the dominant defensive team of the 2000's and won a Super Bowl.
Meanwhile, the Cavs fell into mediocrity under Mike Fratello and became mostly forgotten until Lebron James came around. The Indians though, well, they took advantage of the situation and became a powerhouse for several years.
This was the next stage of sports depression though. The Indians made the World Series in 1995, but couldn't handle the pitching of the Atlanta Braves and fell short, losing in six games. It felt like they'd be back though as the core of the team was set to return in 1996.
But baseball is funny and sometimes things take weird turns and the Orioles bouncing the Indians in the opening round in 1996 was not fun. It felt like the Indians thought they'd just show up and advance, and the Orioles took advantage and outplayed them.
They took advantage of a weak division in 1997 and made the playoffs again, but no one expected them to do much. Yet they made it to the World Series again and this time, they were in prime position to win it all. There are stories of how the champagne was already getting set up in the locker room when Jose Mesa infamously blew the most important save of his career, giving up the lead in the bottom on the ninth in game 7. The then Florida Marlins went on to win in extra innings.
That one perhaps stung the most. The Indians were right there. They had it won. The celebration was going to happen. Then it was ripped away in an unfortunate moment. I know a lot of the fan base was mad at Mesa, but the guy had been one of the best closers in baseball for a while. It sucked, but the sports gods didn't think it was Cleveland's time again.
The Indians never got back to the World Series with that group and wouldn't see the fall classic again until 2016. They had some good teams and some interesting runs, but the team of the mid-nineties never managed to pull it off.
The Browns leaving in 1995 was one of the most insane things I ever witnessed as a sports fan. It felt like it was impossible that it could happen, but there was Modell, gleefully displaying how happy he was to move the team to Baltimore. A football town had its team ripped away from them in the most unthinkable way imaginable.
The void left was strange and while the Indians managed to capture the attention of most of the fans, the Cavs weren't great during this time. The announcement of the Browns returning was great news, but the fact that they were being rushed back for 1999 made me nervous. It felt like a real short period of time to try and put things together.
Sure enough, opening night 1999 against the Pittsburgh Steelers confirmed this as the Browns were rolled and the plan to bring Tim Couch along slowly was tossed out the window. He was the first in a long line of quarterbacks ruined by the Browns, and perhaps, the most talented. I still feel like he could've been a good NFL quarterback, but the first few years really ruined him.
The Browns though. How bad have they been since they came back in 1999? One playoff appearance, two winning seasons, and one infamous winless season. Nevermind the incredible list of quarterbacks and head coaches that have come through. Every time there is a glimmer of hope, that hope is then destroyed by all sorts of calamities.
Even last year's season of hope has been followed up with a train wreck, but more on this current season later.
The Browns have been horrific though. While most other teams at least show occasional glimpses of competence, the Browns muddle about, not in mediocrity, but in mostly despair. They have been historically bad at times and most of the season is spent wondering who they'll draft the following spring.
Thankfully, the Ohio State Buckeyes came through on the championship front, winning it all in 2002 against the Miami Hurricanes, a game that most thought the Buckeyes would get destroyed in. Instead, they played solid on both sides of the football, and with a little help, managed to pull off the upset. It was fun, but it didn't feel as significant as it would have if a Cleveland team had won something. It was still fun.
Then, in 2003, the Cavs started to give us hope with the arrival of Lebron James. He was the superstar that we had never really experienced, a player who even at a young age, felt like a generational player. He was easily the most gifted athlete the city had seen in several years, and he was our own. If anyone was going to bring a championship to the city, it was him, right?
Kind of.
They did make it to the NBA Finals in 2007. It was the first appearance for the franchise and it felt like an indication of things to come.
Again, kind of.
The first Lebron era was weird. It had that peak in 2007, then kind of disintegrated. The last two years he was here the first time around, the Cavs were great in the regular season, but bowed out of the playoffs early. Each time, it felt more and more likely that something very Cleveland-like was going to happen.
In 2010, it happened. The Decision, as it was called, which was when LeBron announced he was going to Miami. It was for most, crushing, but for me, it didn't feel like much. I had expected it, and while it sucked the way he delivered the news, it wasn't the jarring experience. I certainly didn't burn any jerseys, but hated that people went to that extreme (seriously, why burn things like that?).
That was a lean time in Cleveland. The Indians weren't very good (I believe these were the Manny Acta years, but I'm not researching it; I just know they were bad), the Cavs were awful (even after Kyrie Irving was drafted), and the Browns were finding new ways to make the fans miserable. Even the Buckeyes hit a rough patch for a bit there before Urban Meyer became the coach and righted the ship.
While the Browns have continued to Browns over the last several years, last year excluded somewhat, the Indians started showing signs of life in 2013. They drafted well and managed to build up some nice, young talent that got them on a run that was pretty good until this last season.
The real turning point though was the Cavs getting LeBron back for his second stint to go along with Irving and the newly acquired Kevin Love. That team was fun, if not a bit melodramatic. It began a string of 4 consecutive trips to the NBA Finals, something that was unheard of in previous years.
The first one was a strange one to me. Love had been lost to injury in the first round, then Irving went down in overtime of game one of the Finals, leaving the team severely depleted. Despite that, they went up 2-1 before the Golden State Warriors realized Matthew Dellavedova shouldn't be causing them fits and won the next three games. Most fans lamented on what could have been if Love and Irving had been healthy. The team had been dominant in the second half of the season and the Warriors weren't quite the juggernaut they were about to become yet.
The following season, David Blatt was fired as coach after a 30 point beating by the Warriors, handing the job to Ty Lue, who did a nice job refocusing the team. They mostly coasted to the Finals, only losing twice to the Raptors in the Eastern Conference Finals before pretty much demolishing them in the final two games.
The stage was set for an epic rematch with the Warriors in the Finals again.
Then they lost by 30 in game one. Then they got destroyed in game two. Irving and Love were pretty bad and it suddenly seemed like we were caught in the midst of another juggernaut. Remember, this was the year the Warriors were 73-9 and virtually unstoppable. I didn't feel good about it and was resigning myself to the fate that was coming.
Then the Cavs won by 30 at home. It was a complete role reversal. Everyone played well and it seemed like the Cavs had found something that worked against the Warriors.
At least until the second half of game three when the Warriors countered and managed to come from behind to win. However, Draymond Green couldn't keep his feet to himself and attempted a crotch shot on LeBron that ended up getting him suspended. Warriors fans will try to convince you that Green was innocent and didn't deserve a suspension, but the NBA had warned him about his flailing feet after some shenanigans against Steven Adams of the Thunder in the previous round.
The Warriors and their fans had all kinds of jokes and comments about the suspension and LeBron and seemed to think that the series was pretty much over since it was back at Oracle Arena, where the Warriors had been difficult to beat. But the Cavs, more specifically, LeBron and Kyrie, weren't interested in the story ending there.
They both scored 41 points and LeBron followed that up with another 41 in game six as the Cavs won both games to force a game seven. I felt content as a fan at this point. They had battled back, made the series interesting, and had shown they weren't going to give up. It was perhaps the most pride shown by a team that I could remember, which made it easier to deal with game seven.
I didn't really watch much of it. I instead kept watching Twitter and the score on my phone. The ebb and flow of the game was tremendous, but I couldn't watch it. I refused to watch what could've been a celebration by the Warriors. The only way I was going to turn that TV on was if it was certain the Cavs were going to pull it off.
The game went by and the back and forth was incredible. Neither team could really separate and a series that had been defined by blowouts was as close as could be in the deciding game. Then LeBron had the block, Irving made the game-changing three pointer, and Love forced Steph Curry into a bad shot. They were right there, with the ball, and a chance to seal the deal.
It was nearly spectacular. I turned it on right as LeBron attempted to destroy Green with a dunk, only to get fouled. His first free throw was short, and the nervousness started to creep in. This is how things fall apart. Missed free throws leave the door open to the greatest three point shooting teams ever, and they never miss in those situations. Yet LeBron made the second free throw.
The game was essentially over.
Yes, weird stuff could happen, but the Cavs were careful. They defended, but didn't foul until about 6 seconds left, which was okay because it wasn't a shooting foul. The Warriors were down four with 6 seconds to go, something that they couldn't even overcome. Curry's three was off, Mo Speights missed his shot, the horn sounded, the city celebrated.
Why detail all these moments? Because this is when everything changed on how I viewed sports. I had watched the Cavs win it all. The misery was no more for me.
I suddenly didn't care as much.
Sure, I followed as the Indians went on their own surprise run to the World Series, falling just short again, but it didn't sting like it did in 1997. Sports just weren't as important anymore suddenly.
Which leads me to the state of the current Browns. I'm indifferent to it. I go on social media and see people angry, frustrated, sad, and complaining about the team. I just shrug my shoulders and go back to what I was doing.
I can't get worked up by it anymore. Disappointing Indians season? I have Destiny 2 to play. Browns looking like poo with all the talent they have? I have a kid who wants to play Stardew Valley with me. Cavs? They're bad but kind of fun, so eff it.
The point is, sports just aren't the same to me anymore. Sure, they're fun to watch and I still root for my teams, but the emotional impact isn't the same. I just enjoy watching sports in general and appreciate good teams.
I think most get too worked up by sports, but I can't blame you if you're one of them. I was once that person. I'm not anymore.
Sports used to be very important. Now I just relax and enjoy things for what they are.
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