Christmas in 2016

Hey gang,

First off, apologies for the lack of content in this blog this year. Time has very rarely been on my side and at times I probably tried to take on too many projects.

As a result, most of the things I tried to get involved with never really got going and here we are at the end of December and I have yet to accomplish a whole lot.

Well, that's not really true.

I've raised my credit scores (per Credit Karma and Capital One's CreditWise) from 550 to nearly 640. My FICO, while pretty low, is at 587 and slowly climbing. I recently was approved for a second credit card that isn't going to be for use, but rather to keep my available credit at a respectable level.

So while the quest for a house remains very much in doubt, the process is going how I would like it. The hope is that I'll be in position to get a house sooner than later, but that requires a little more work with my credit and getting a few other things lined up.

It's Christmas time again though, which means that the fine tradition of coming up with a list is alive and well, even if I'm running out of gag ideas.

In years past, I've asked for a Battleship, a space ship, world peace and domination, and various other silly things mixed with actual things I want. The idea was to see how people reacted to these lists and take a few shots at Santa and his underwhelming elves.

While I still take issue with Santa and his operation, I've come to accept that this is simply how it's going to be, much like how the 2016 Presidential Election went.

The results, while far from ideal, are what they are. No amount of yelling, hand wringing, or legislation will change that.

I think it's become very clear the whole naughty and nice thing is a sham. It appears to be more of who can suck up to Santa the most at the right time, which means kids who've been blatantly awful most of the year can make up for it with the right timing. Meanwhile, some kid can have one bad day in December and all the good can be flushed down the toilet.

And don't get me started on the watching you while you're sleeping stuff. We are getting into some stalker-grade issues here and Santa has clearly been getting away with it for a long time just because he's allegedly jolly. We can't keep going around harping about big brother and the government, yet Santa gets to watch little kids in their sleep.

So Santa, my challenge to you is to make your system a little more fair. Give equal weight to that rocket incident in November and treat it the same like the noodle incident in December. Tighten the operation up and spread the wealth a little bit. I saw the pictures where the tree could barely be seen because there were so many presents. I expect great things this Christmas.

Don't disappoint.

As always, many of the items on this list are legit, but some aren't. Most are highly unrealistic and NO ONE is expected to assist me in any way shape or form.

2016 Christmas Wish List!

• A high-powered gaming PC featuring Intel's i7-6950x CPU and a Nvidia Titan X GPU - Those along run around $1-2k a piece, but you can make this Christmas the best by providing just those pieces.
• An Xbox One S, Playstation 4 (don't care for the pro), and a Wii U - I know, the Wii U is discontinued, but I want The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess HD.
• Jeep Grand Cherokee - This would solve some of my winter driving issues.
• DJI Drone - Have you seen these things? The 4K video alone is worth the idea, never mind the possibility of having someone shoot it out of the sky just because you happen to come to close to sketchy areas.
• Donald Trump NOT be the President - I don't think I should have to explain this very much. The guy is terrifying and it's getting worse the closer we get to his term starting.
• The winning Powerball ticket - Even if it's only $40 million, there's a lot I could do with that money. Some people close to me would benefit greatly from it. Plus who doesn't want a full-length NBA court sitting in the backyard of their brand new house?
• Minions from "Despicable Me" - these guys, man they just sound so funny and look so squishy and you can do whatever you want to them.
• 2 extra hours per day - I know I don't have enough time in the day, that's for sure.
• Lifetime entry to Cedar Point - I'd be there every weekend. Oh, and it would be cool if I could bring a guest. For free. And eat for free. And a free locker.
• Season tickets to the Cleveland teams - yes, even the Browns. Could I go to every game? No, but you bet your ass I'll be at most of them.
• The ability to decide who lives and who dies - This could be abused, but I swear I'd only kill the ones who deserve it.
• A camera capable of shooting 4K video for future vlogs/video ideas. Most that I've seen run about $1k. So yeah, not in my budget.
• My teeth to not be all jacked up - Yeah yeah, I know, go to the dentist. I know.
• A place of my own and someone to occasionally come over and hang not named Kylie. You know, just something real chill.
• An Autonomous Smart Desk 2 - This is a sit to stand type of desk and I'm particularly interested in getting an extra long one for future video presentations. Plus it would make a pretty kick-ass computer desk.
• A new, comfortable chair - Not necessarily one of these "gaming" chairs because those are stupidly overpriced, but just something that's comfortable and better for my back.
• People to stop being such jerks to each other - This could be a blog post all on its own. As a society, we are so damn worried about what other people are doing and trying to make it a problem that it's disgusting. It goes beyond gay marriage and race, but those are central issues. Simply put, I'll never understand how gay marriage is a threat to the sanctity of marriage when straight marriages were already failing at a spectacular rate. Who cares? Stop worrying if a gay couple gets married and fix your own damn marriage instead.
• Better understanding of mental health - I was going to mention gun control, but I'm conflicted when it comes to guns. Simply put, mental health is still widely misunderstood and people who often need the help most get shoved aside and ignored. We need to get better people.
• My mom's health to improve - this one scares me a bit, more than I'm willing to talk about.
• The best for my friends, family, and everyone else - Seriously, let's all be better to each other. Be there for each other.

I think that's all for now. Not the best, not the zaniest, but I'm getting too old for that shit. It's time to be practical.

I can always ask for an aircraft carrier next year anyway.

In all seriousness, I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday and things work out for you in all aspects of life. I've seen far too many people have some issues pop up and you all deserve the best.

Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, and I'll see you guys around.

Maybe.