falling flat

I've never been short on ideas for blog posts.

In the past, I've come up with several good ideas.  Sometimes I'd even get started on them for a while.

Then, after a while, I'd start to slack off for a while before the idea completely fell off the track.

Most of the time it's been due to lack of writing.  I'd start off strong for a week or so, then the amount of writing would decrease slowly and surely as I just felt no motivation to go forward with the post.  Often times, it's because the idea seemed really good in theory, but when it came to executing the idea, I realized it wasn't as good as I thought.

For example, back in 1999 when I was writing on my old web site, I was very much into the Indians and what appeared to be a season for the ages.  Every time I wrote something, I finished with a recap of that days Indians' game.  I'd give the score, the records, and a brief rundown of the game.  I kept it up for half the season, then sometime after the All-Star break, I either lost interest in the idea or got sick of doing it.

It's kind of hard to remember at this point.

More recently, specifically last year's playoffs, I started to capsule previews of NFL playoff games all the way through the Pro-Bowl.  I had some fun with it and was going to do it again this year, except, well, I didn't.

I can't really explain why.  I kept thinking about starting it up, but then I wouldn't.

So now I have come up with a new idea for this blog.  Or my pharmacy blog.  I can't decide which to use it on, which would be the first issue since I can't use it on both and possibly give away what little anonymity I have on my pharmacy blog.

Hmm.  That means I can't tell what the idea is if I intend to use it on the pharmacy blog because then when it shows up there, it would give away which blog is mine.

I guess I should've figured that part out first.

Oh well.

The idea revolves around a theme for each day of the week.  For instance, I could call Friday Flashback Fridays and post some story from my younger years (which makes me feel old just writing that).  Of course to do that requires me coming up with whimsical names (hey, Whimsical Wednesday?) for each day of the week and actually stick with it, which isn't likely.  It also makes more sense if I write every day, thus justifying the different names for each day I post, but we know that won't happen.

In any case, that's an idea that's floating around in my head, partially because I have nothing else to do in my free time when I'm not with Rachel than to think of silly things like that.

Now then, back to the focus of the week.

Tomorrow is kind of a day of reckoning when it comes to Kisa.  It's at least the first step in deciding what to do with her.  Put her down and spend the next month remembering all the moments I've had with her?  Keep her alive a little longer because her health isn't as bad as feared and do everything to make her remaining time comfortable?

It's kind of a troubling thing to think about really.  I almost feel like a God wielding power over a helpless being.  Whether she lives or dies is in my hands.

I've spent the last two days really thinking about all the things that have happened with her over the years.  I'm not so much upset at the idea of her possibly being euthanized as maybe some might be, but that's mostly because I've already come to terms with the fact that one day she will be gone.  I'm calm about it because as I've stated, she's given me almost 18 good years.  It's more than I ever could've hoped for and I know I'll be making an informed decision, not just saying I'm done for the hell of it or keeping her alive longer than she should be.

Having Kisa has been an amazing experience.  There's never been any doubts about her being my cat.  When I've been gone for a couple days and come home again, she follows me around for a while.  She's always slept either next to me or on top of me.  When I sit down on the couch, she's right there looking for a lap to lay on.

One of my favorite memories is when we lived in Brunswick and I worked at CVS in Strongsville til 10.  I had worked the same shifts for a while and my mom started to tell me how right around when I was supposed to be home, she'd go over to the front door and sit and wait for me.  This went on for the longest time, at least up until I started hanging out with Mike regularly after work.

I apologize in advance if I spend a lot of time remembering things with Kisa.

I have almost 18 years worth of memories to possibly catch up on.

Oh, and don't hold your breath on the format thing for the blog.  I'll probably forget by tonight anyway.