Kids change things

I know.

The title is about as obvious a statement as you can make when it comes to kids and what happens.  The thing is, most probably don't realize how true it is.

Let's back up a step though.  Being in a relationship changes things.  Simple decisions aren't as simple, choices you make can often have unseen repercussions.  That simple night out with the boys is now the basis for an argument.  That extra hour to play a game means you don't want to spend time with your significant other.

These aren't things that I've necessarily experienced with Rachel, but they are things that happen.  People say they're okay with certain things, like video games and the night out, then when it happens, flip out as if you just committed the most awful sin imaginable.  Some people have earned the scrutiny that was brought onto them, but sometimes it's just an overreaction that gets taken way too far.

You have to work to manage your time better in a relationship, work to find common ground, and work together to resolve issues that pop up.  Relationships, as everyone already knows, require trust to get very far and a little bit of faith as well.  If you can't trust the person you're with, then it's bound to fail.  If you lack faith, then it can makes more of a struggle, but it can be worked through.

Having a kid adds to the changes.

For a guy, it means less time for you (if you've managed to maintain some of your "me" time) as you now have someone who depends on you and your significant other to raise them, protect them, and feed them.  That hour you had before or after work to play your game?  That likely won't be there unless the child is sleeping at that desired time.

The nights out?  If you'd rather continue going out week after week than spend time with your growing child, then I have to say something is wrong with you.  This of course excludes the occasional night out, which I recommend spending with your significant other as she's probably ready to get out away from it all for a little bit before she panics about the well-being of the kid and you end up going home early.

I've already seen how kids can change things.  75% of the tv time is spent on either the HUB or DisneyJR with the rest of the time split between Rachel and myself depending on the day of the week.  The living room and Payton's room is a perpetual mess as those are the two main areas she can be found.  There's usually at least one mishap a week involving a spill of some sort, the most recent being a glitter explosion in Payton's bedroom.

If you are a neat freak, I would suggest therapy before having kids as you will probably have a mental breakdown.  I've resigned myself to the fact that it's inevitable that our apartment will be a mess.  You have to pick and choose your spots to clean, just as you have to stay on top of laundry and dishes or before you know it, you're buried.

Just about anything can be disrupted by a child, from a simple trip to the store, to getting food, to bedtime procedures.  Things will change, become more complicated, and often leaving you ready to pull your hair out and just sit down and call it quits.

But then you'd be missing the best parts of having a kid around.  The hugs, the playing, the fascination with simple things, the endless energy, and the laughter.  Sure, they cry too, but they laugh a lot and as they grow, they understand more and more about what's going on around them.

Having an infant around, as we will be introducing next spring, adds a new dimension to things.  Until it learns to crawl and eventually walk, it's completely dependent on you to get around, to eat, and stay warm (or cool depending on the time of year). Sleep, already a precious commodity for most, becomes harder to come by.  Diapers will be changed several times a day up until the point the child finally decides that potties are useful, and not just for playing.

There will be doctor appointments, check-ups, near heart attacks when the child discovers the joys of power cords and outlets, incidents with the animals, and any number of other things that would cause any person to stop in their tracks and hope to God that their child is okay.

Am I ready for this?  I think like a lot of hopeful parents (that is, people who really do want kids, not just the ones who say so), I want to believe that I will be.  I want to believe tht I'm ready for the challenge and will rise up and raise a healthy, beautiful child who will eventually rule the world.

Will there be rough spots?  Yes.  Will there be disputes on what's okay and what isn't okay?  More than likely.  Will I fold like a cheap lawn chair the first time my child cries?  Probably.  Will I do my best to not be like a lot of first-time fathers who get walked on?  I will, but I can't promise anything.  This is one area where I'm definitely heading into the unknown, and while I've been around kids, this will be the first one that is truly of my creation, not the result of dating someone who already had them.

The main thing I feel right now is excitement.  I'm ready for this, as much as I can be anyway.  I don't think I'm going to falter, I don't think I'm going to be a pushover, but I honestly don't know how it's going to go.  I do know I want to be there at every step of the way as much as I can be.

The changes are coming, but it's going to be a blast.

Now get out of the laundry basket, you damn kid!