Friday, December 15, 2017

Tales from the pharmacy - An introduction to the idea

I've entertained the idea of writing a bunch of stories from my years of working as a pharmacy technician for quite some time now. I haven't really figured out the best way to do this yet, but figured I'd at least give you all a warning that this is coming because I do intend on doing it.

I'm not sure yet if it'll be in this blog or if I'm going to do it separate, but I definitely have a lot of stories going back to my start in retail to current day. Many of them are funny stories, but there are a few serious stories and moments that changed my life in dramatic ways.

I also have to figure out how to deal with all the different people I've worked with. While many would likely be okay with their names being used, it would make far more sense to use fake names to avoid any complications in the future. Keeping the names straight would be a challenge, but probably be the best way to manage that aspect of things.

I will be attempting to tell most stories chronologically, although I admittedly can't guarantee this as many of the stories run together, particularly in my earliest days as we're talking over 20 years of stories at this point in time and there's a strong chance I will randomly remember previously forgotten stories.

This is where former coworkers can come to my aid. I am friends with quite a few that could potentially add details and/or stories that I have previously forgotten, so if there's something you want to see mentioned, you should absolutely send me a message talking about the story and important details and such. I will try to keep the titles in a format that makes the posts easy to find if you're skimming my blog, particularly since my YouTube uploads always end up being posted as part of the blog.

I will be attempting to come up with a solid introduction here in the coming weeks which will be followed up by the earliest memory I have of working, which will be my first day way back on September 1st, 1997.

This is an idea I've floated in my head  several different times over, not just because I have some great stories, but also because I think the pharmacy is greatly misunderstood by the general public, so the hope is those who don't work in a pharmacy will have a better understanding of what it has been like going back nearly 20 years.

I hope to keep up with this and if I do, hope you enjoy the stories. Again, if you've worked with me and have something to contribute, let me know. The more stories, the better.

That's all for now. Stay tuned...

Late night thoughts

It's interesting to me what the mind can do to you at times. Life can be humming along, everything going as you hoped, and that's when your brain can serve you up a mighty dose of self-doubt.

For as positive as I try to keep myself, for as much as I try to not get too high or low with the day to day, there are still plenty of moments where I question what I'm doing, who I am, and where I'm going.

Even as I sit here contemplating how the idea of helping a very good friend out in a very difficult time, the doubts are there. Will what I do be enough? Is this going to create unrealistic expectations? Do people think highly of me, or even at all?

It's wild and unpredictable and unfortunate.

I can sit here and say that I'm content with not dating anyone and I'm not worried about it and it would be mostly true. I'm not thinking too much about it, but I more and more find myself guilty of wanting that feeling of being wanted back, that feeling of mattering to someone.

Yes, Kylie fulfills a lot of the love in my life as she always will, but let's not pretend that replaces the feeling of being with someone who cares about you, who wants you around, who you can physically embrace and whatnot, and make you feel a certain way.


Now to be clear, this kind of thought does not dominate my mind. I don't think much about it because dating is virtually impossible right now for so many reasons that I just can't get into because it puts me right back in that negative frame of mind. Sure, it's possible there's someone who can overlook what's going on right now and want to be part of my life, but that's unrealistic and I can't expect that from anyone.

In a way, this feeling has probably been long-overdue and is the unintended consequence of receiving the first compliment I've received from someone in a long, long time. I've never been one to receive them, so I always looked into them too much in the past and made the compliment bigger than it was intended.

I've tried very hard to not do that this time around with the idea that sometimes people just say nice things to each other without any hidden meaning behind it. I've tried to simplify it because I tend to make things more complicated than they are when it comes to the opposite sex.

I've taken the compliment for what it was; a nice thing said to me by a very nice woman who is fast becoming someone I consider a pretty good friend. But it unintentionally gets my brain going (which is no fault of the person who complimented me AT ALL) and starts the wheels turning.

Could someone overlook the way my life is? Could someone overlook the things I find unappealing about my self? Is there someone who'd look at my situation, understand it, be patient with it, and want to try and make something work?

I'm sure there is. There are far, far, FAR more people who wouldn't though, and with good reason. Who wants to be with someone who lives with his ex, has a child, is clearly not in prime physical condition, and can't even go to the gym without his child freaking out?

Sure, I could explain that there's a bigger goal at hand, something more than what you see now. I could explain that the sacrifices being made now are for a greater purpose, something more meaningful to me. And maybe that person would understand. Maybe they'd get it and think this is something worth coming along for the ride for.

But more likely the answer I'd get (and what I have typically received in limited opportunities) is talk to me when you've moved out and so on.

And I can't blame them for that. I can't possibly expect someone to deal with my life the way it is now, no matter how much they might like me.

So I try to keep that thought out of my mind, carry on with the tasks at hand and try and keep the ship steering in the right direction. Major things I've needed to happen have happened thus far, which means I'm that much closer to getting where I want to be at.

Even then, I'm probably still at least a year from getting there, which is insanely too long of a time to expect someone to just accept how things are.

Still, it would be nice. There's no lie there. I do think about how nice it would be to have someone to go on a date with occasionally, send dumb texts to, and hug and stuff. There is definitely a void that I feel from time to time.

It speaks to human nature though as well. Even the most stringent personalities are prone to thoughts of being lonely and many have overwhelming thoughts of loneliness. It can strike at any point and for some, it's crippling. I'm very grateful for the fact that I can pretty much shove it to the side most of the time and not let it consume me, because it definitely consumes many people.

I fall back on the thought that if someone wants to date me, it'll happen when it's supposed to, and if it doesn't, well, I feel confident that I'll be fine in the long run. I have Kylie, which actually makes it far easier to contend with lonely thoughts than in years past when it absolutely ate me alive.

I worried way too much about dating in my younger years. I can go back as far as high school with my memories and thoughts of missed opportunities, but going back to that point isn't going to change anything. Things didn't happen for a reason and life has sent me on the path that it has for a reason.

For the time being, all I can do is continue to do what I can to improve my life, keep on track with setting up what I'm trying to do, get my ass back in shape, be a good friend, and see where the road takes me.

I will focus on being the best friend that I can be to the people that matter most to me, be the best dad to Kylie I can be, and if someone decides they want to take a chance and join me on this ride, well, there is a seat available.

Or my lap if they'd prefer.

That's all for now. Who knows when I'll write again because who knows when inspiration will strike.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and all that jazz.

And no, there will be no wish list this year. Mind is on more important things.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

The journey of my PC Build

Nearly 5 years ago, I decided that I wanted in on the YouTube phenomenon that had been growing in the gaming community. Minecraft videos led the charge, but overall, it was becoming very popular to record your gaming session, edit it, and upload it to YouTube for all to see.

I had become enamored with one particular YouTuber, PaulSoaresJr, who was a major player in the Minecraft community. His tutorials in particular were beloved by his fans and he had a channel that was growing at a very fast rate. While he dabbled in other games, most of his content was centered on Minecraft and for a while, his "Survive and Thrive" series was even featured on the Minecraft website.

I did a little research into how people were recording their footage, something I had always wondered going back to the days when I'd watching video game shows on tv (when you could find them), and I always wondered how in the hell they captured the footage even as a child. Well, here I was at the age of 31 still trying to figure it out.

Obviously it's become much easier to do it these days. There are any number of programs that allow you to do it as well as actual capture-cards. I discovered that many were using FRAPS, which cost money, but seemed like the easy way to get into it.

There was one problem with this idea though: I did not have a functional computer at the time. My desktop had died about a year or so earlier (well, the hard drive died, the rest of the build went to my mom who did who knows what with it) and I had been without one since. I had not felt a need to have one since the desktop died as my phone was more than capable of internet browsing and I didn't play games on the PC, I played them on my consoles.

I was always a console gamer, from the early days of the NES forward and at this point, I had my Xbox 360 and Nintendo GameCube. I wasn't worried about gaming on a PC for those reasons alone. I know, some will call me a console pleb, but that's a discussion for another day.

I used the Xbox 360 edition of Minecraft to check out the game, decided I wanted to get the real experience, and took steps to actually go through with it. First step was to get a PC of some sort, which is where my lack of knowledge towards computers first came into play. I didn't think Minecraft needed a very powerful machine, so I didn't look for anything robust, just something that had familiar terms to me. Naturally, I latched on the name Nvidia, as I was convinced that meant it was good for games.

I found a Compaq Presario on eBay running for about $100 and managed to snag it (mistake number one). I found the cheapest headset I could and figured it had a mic and would be good enough (mistake number two). I bought the game, FRAPS, and decided Movie Maker would be good enough for editing (mistake number three). I then installed the game, opened up my first world, and started running around.

The first thing that became abundantly evident was that this laptop could barely run the game. Having no clue when it came to tech, I had purchased a laptop with an AMD Athlon Dual-Core processor and a GTX 8800m. They were both pretty bad and the game ran equally poor. Early glimpses of gaming footage was, well, rough.

The headset was even worse. When I did get the volume up high enough to be heard, there was an awful feedback that could be heard. I'm guessing this is the result of using a mic that was connected via a 3.5mm port, but to this day, I regret making that choice.

The game ran at roughly 20-30 frames per second on a good day. Once I hit record, it often dropped to 15-20 at best, at least until I installed Optifine and managed to tweak it just enough to get close to 25-30 during recording if there wasn't a whole lot going on. It looked pretty bad though and was a reminder that making a good choice in hardware is paramount to getting a good experience.

Additionally, the laptop was stupid loud when I played, which when mixed with my terrible headset audio, meant you could barely hear me most recordings.


I still went through with it full-speed ahead. Initially I probably tried to mimic PaulSoaresJr a bit too much (mistake number four), but even more I tried to do too many different types of series at one time (mistake number five). In a genre saturated with too many Minecraft videos, I just added to the pile. Tutorial videos seemed to do the best at times, but even those trailed off after a while.

Despite my lackluster quality, the channel grew somewhat quickly. I made a few tweaks to try and get the game running better (upgraded the memory) and added a better mic, the Audio Technica ATR2500 USB mic. My audio was leaps and bounds better once I figured out the finer points of adjusting the level, but it also opened the videos up to more background noise, aka the fans. I also moved on from Movie Maker when I went and bought Sony Vegas Movie Studio to edit my footage in.

The channel grew despite all my shortcomings and I quickly approached 100 subscribers on YouTube. I did occasional special videos, tried to do unique things, but the laptop was the limiting factor. As 2013 went by, I began to envision the idea of building a desktop PC specifically to run games and make my videos better.

Around this time, I came across a guy who now goes by JonOfAllGames. I began watching his livestream on Twitch, a platform I had only recently become aware of. He and his viewers were much more tech savvy than I was and while I had a few basic ideas, I still had no idea when it came to PC components. I knew of a few companies such as Intel, AMD, and Nvidia, but I was completely in the dark when it came to most everything else. I began doing research online, began picking the brains of people in his chat, and started to settle on what kind of PC I wanted to build.

I wish I had saved the listing that I originally posted on PC Partpicker, as I'm sure it was a doozy. I was still very new at the idea of picking components, and while PC Part Picker does tell you if parts are compatible or not, it doesn't necessarily mean the part you chose is the best for what you're doing. I do know it had an i7 4770k CPU as the foundation with a Gigabyte motherboard, and at some point I had a GTX 760 for my GPU and a Western Digital HDD for storage, but the build evolved a bit once Jon's chat became involved.

What I did know was I wanted to use tax money in 2014 to build it. It was going to get my channel jump-started, give viewers quality I could only dream of. I spent many nights plotting out each detail until I could barely stay awake. I revised the parts as I slowly started to learn more about them. I felt good about it.

Then my car needed tires and brakes. I no longer was going to be using tax money to build this PC.

I came up with a backup plan. The PC build was going to cost me around $1500, but if I could find a decent laptop for $500-700, I could get by with that until I could afford all the rest of the parts. The idea, in my head, was to buy a part on my credit card, pay it off, then buy another one. It was a sound idea in theory, one that life didn't let me go forward with (and probably for good reason).

I did find the laptop though. My ex came across a nice one on HP's website for an HP Envy. It had an AMD quad-core processor and a discrete GPU. It seemed on paper like a fairly modest bump in quality, and as it turned out, it was just that.



The improvement in video quality was very clear from the start. Instead of struggling to reach 25FPS, I was getting 45-60. The videos looked much smoother, plus I had figured out how to get rid of the annoying motion blur that Movie Studio incorporated by default. The quality was closer to where I wanted it to be, but could still be better. I continued to try to learn about making videos, continued to try and improve, and that meant more upgrades.

The Envy was a nice laptop compared to the Compaq Presario. It was faster, more powerful, but still had some serious fan noise, especially at any kind of load. Videos rendered much faster on the Envy, which saved me a tremendous amount of time. On the old laptop, a 720p 30fps video would take upwards of 6 hours to render out. On the Envy, render times dropped to 1-2 hours, even for a 720p 60fps video (once YouTube allowed 60fps uploads). My editing skills were still pretty lacking though and I had to learn to be better about what footage to keep and what to cut.

Meanwhile, I went out to Micro Center and purchased my Intel i7 4770k CPU and Gigabyte motherboard. I had the building blocks to my future build and figured it was only a matter of time.

Then I received notice I was being garnished by Capital One in October of 2014.

This not only wrecked my plans, it nearly ruined me overall. I was struggling to keep everything together. Our cell phones were turned off, rent was constantly late, the electric was adding up, and I was just trying to keep as much of it together as possible. I started selling off anything I felt I could get rid of. All my old consoles and games were sold to help pay bills. Things that I had held on to for years had to go. And those prized building blocks for my build? Sold on eBay to help keep everything together. It was one of the most stressful times of my life and I often felt like I just wasn't meant to do anything nice for myself (which sounds completely selfish). I gave up on the idea of building a PC and began focusing on fixing the financial problems instead.

2015 was a rough year personally, but I began to turn it around financially. Instead of building a PC, I made some small upgrade choices. I went and bumped the Envy's RAM to 16GB to help with editing and finally purchased high-quality headphones. I bought a USB hub and a web cam for when I randomly would livestream to Twitch. I switched to Adobe Premiere Pro for video editing to give myself better options when editing.

As the year went on, the number of videos declined. My child, who had been born shortly after I started YouTube, was now 2 and on the move. Personal things in my life made me determined to spend as much time with her as I could. I was convinced I couldn't do YouTube until I had better hardware and the time to actually do it, which meant it was going to be a while. I also realized that streaming was passing YouTube as a way to show your gaming prowess.

My focus drifted away from games and the communities around them. Hopes of playing with others faded as the year went on and I just didn't make time for it, instead focusing my energy on other things. I often feel I missed out on a big chance to do something more with gaming and the communities I've been around, but I made a choice to put my daughter first during this time period and couldn't justify doing something on the computer over spending time with her.

2015 drifted into 2016 and the work on my finances was starting to pay off. Our phones were back on, bills were caught up, and I hadn't missed a credit card payment in over a year. I was slowly getting myself into a position to start thinking about building a PC again, but this time I was going to do it right. I was going to research every part, watch every video possible, and make smart, informed decisions.

I began following tech reviewers like JayzTwoCents, Paul's Hardware, Hardware Canucks, Bitwit, and so many others. I watched people build computers, watched reviews on all kinds of products, and realized that if I had built a computer two years previously, it would've been a disaster. I knew nothing about keeping a CPU cool, the different graphics cards on the market, the RAM frequencies, what kind of power supply to get, what case would be best, and so on.

I knew nothing. I only the name of my processor. I didn't know what kind of motherboard I was getting. I didn't know how quickly I was outdating myself with a GTX 760. I didn't know how each component affected the build.

Now I was learning though. I now knew there were air coolers, all-in-one coolers, and custom loops. I knew that Nvidia graphics cards were more powerful, but more expensive than AMD cards. I knew that Intel CPU's were far better and multi-threaded tasks than AMD's processors. I knew that content creation relied on multi-threading to be as good as I needed it to be. I knew that more RAM at a better speed would be better for editing.

I began to study the different cases, the different motherboards, and the chipsets available. Terms like Z97, Z170, X99, and AM3 that once seemed so foreign were now familiar to me. I knew what CPU went with which board, what board was better for overclocking and what board was more entry-level. I understood what base clock, boost clock, and turbo boost meant.

I knew what different things on the motherboard did and instead of falling for fancy gimicks, began to decide what I wanted my build to have. I knew what kinds of hard drives I wanted as I learned the differences between NVMe, SSD's, and HDD's.

Instead of guessing, I now knew what I wanted to feature in my build. It helped that technology was advancing and I was now up to speed, but knowing was always half the battle. I was no longer relying on a company's box to figure out how to build my PC, but rather is what they're selling me actually fit?

I admittedly fell in love with a few things that directly steered my build in the path it was heading, but I knew what I wanted and began to formulate any number of build ideas based on budget.

Meanwhile, my Envy was at the end of its usefulness towards me as summer 2016 began. The most obvious mark of its limitations was when I tried to play Star Wars: Battlefront on it.

It failed spectacularly and that's when I decided that I needed to consider an upgrade to my laptop if I could find it. See, my credit limit had just been boosted from $300 to $1300 due to my paying on-time and I suddenly had money to play with, which is always a bad thing for my impulsive ass.

I began zeroing in on slight upgrades that would hopefully cost less than $700. I had an AMD-based Dell laptop fall into my laptop around that time, but the system was useless to me as it was not for gaming at all, so I figured if I could get $400, I was only really spending around $300-400. I eventually found my current laptop, the Acer Aspire Nitro, for around $600. It was a mild upgrade, but one I wanted as I had always become disenchanted with AMD due to issues I was having recording Minecraft all of a sudden using Dxtory (another mild upgrade that was given to me by a friend). I was trying to get away from AMD plus boost my gaming performance and this laptop fit the bill.

It had an i7 4720HQ CPU along with a GTX 960m, 16GB of RAM, and an M.2 boot drive. Upon using it for the first time, it put the Envy to shame all the way around. Minecraft was suddenly at 60fps with ease, SW: Battlefront was at 50-60fps at medium, as was Battlefield 1 when it came out. Simply put, it allowed me to play games at a decent level, record them well enough, and those 1-2 hour render times on the Envy? 30-45 minutes now, even at 1080p 60fps, which I couldn't even attempt to play at on the Envy.

Oh yeah, The Aspire allowed me to move into 1080p, which I couldn't do with the Envy, which became an issue when I decided to buy a 1080p display to use as a second screen. The Envy was past being useful, the Aspire fit the bill, and I moved on. It was actually the perfect "bridging the gap" PC until I could assemble my build.

My level of determination grew as the year came to a close. I knew I wasn't going to be behind on any bills, the tax money was coming, and I could use a PTO payout at work to give myself a nice bump in my bank account. I began looking not just at core parts, but peripherals. I had upgraded my web cam from a Logitech C615 to the popular C920 and my mic to the Audio Technica AT2020USB+ thanks to a fellow viewer of Jon's. I had a healthy love of Logitech products and zeroed in on their mice and keyboard lineup. I just needed the right sale and I was lucky enough to have a Logitech G910 keyboard and G502 mouse practically fall into my lap for far cheaper than they normally sell.

I immediately realized why people loved mechanical keyboards and what I had been missing not using a gaming mouse for so long. My excitement for the build grew and the parts began to fall into place.

I knew I was going with Intel's X99 platform. I wanted the extra cores for streaming and content creation and the 5820k was reasonably priced at Micro Center. The motherboard was trickier as there were so many options from so many companies, but I began to drift towards two of the offerings by ASUS. The Deluxe-II and A-II jumped to the top of my list as the reviews were solid and while the Deluxe-II was far more expensive, the A-II had all the features I required as well.

I knew I wanted an NVMe for a boot drive, at least one SSD for my games, and HDD's for file storage. I knew I wanted at least a GTX 1070 for my GPU and at least 650 watts for my power supply, as that's when the optional CPU became available, which is something X99 boards feature. I knew I wanted 32GB of RAM and an NZXT X62 Kraken cooler until I built a custom loop.

Settling in on what I wanted made deciding on specific products either. Many were decided early on and bought when they went on sale. The NZXT H440 was bought in December as part of a refurbished discount offer they had (although the H440 was littered with quality control problems). The Corsair RM850 was a refurbished unit from Micro Center for nearly half its normal price.

The memory was well under $200, which seems crazy now that RAM has skyrocketed in price. My NVMe was around $120 for a high-speed Samsung 256GB drive. My Samsung Evo SSD's were each bought for far less than their normal price. I already had a 2TB Seagate HDD from my failed build attempt and I added a 4TB when Newegg offered a sale for around $100.

It was all coming together and while the laptop purchase had been followed up by a near-crisis with the electric build, I was being far more careful with my money for these parts.    I was buying when I had extra money and when products were on sale, which left me with wiggle room for bills and such.

I was also adding pieces to my overall setup. I bought a new chair with the first round of tax money and my new desk with the second round. I bought a light kit to improve video quality and a shotgun mic to improve audio when using my camcorder. My setup was coming together, the pieces were coming together, and eventually all that were left were the CPU, motherboard, and GPU.

At this point, we were still a month away from Ryzen dropping. Having decided I couldn't take the chance of being an early adopter of the CPU lineup from AMD, I stuck with my plan of Intel's X99 platform. Ryzen intrigued me though and I immediately decided if the chance came, I'd do a Ryzen build as well. I had hoped though that the various CPU's in the X99 chipset would fall in price by this point though. The better processors still started at around $550, which was simply too steep for me to consider. If the 6850k had dropped to closer to $400 by this point, I would've gone for it, but it didn't, so the 5820k ended up being the winner. However, I had to move fast as X99 boards were selling out fast. The Deluxe-II was no longer in stock, so I went with the A-II instead.

I then went and purchased the ASUS GTX 1070 Strix OC, partly because it was a well-reviewed board, but also because it would allow me to sync up the lighting effects on the board and GPU, which was a factor in my decisions.

I had all my parts and it was time to build the PC.


I had a few issues to deal with, but it was ultimately done and it booted, which was the most important part of the process. There were a few hiccups after the build was done of course. The GPU was originally faulty so I had to exchange it, which solved that problem. The case gave me issues when it came to the X62 Kraken as well as how to connect all my fans. The full list of issues can be seen in the video below.



The first bit of buyer's remorse had hit at this point. I had fallen in love with the H440 very early on and probably developed tunnel vision in regards to it. NZXT seemed to be a great company and reviews on the case were sparkling for the most part. But I had dealt with too many issues with the case, but more importantly, a lack of response from NZXT in regards to my issues. I had come across the Phanteks Enthoo Evolv ATX tempered glass edition case and was in awe of it. THAT was what my build deserved, that was a case I could be proud of displaying my system in.

My god is it expensive. My god is this long.

Thankfully, Newegg had a sale. I went for it and began the process of cutting ties with NZXT products in my build. I also decided that if I was going to put my build into a case with tempered glass on both side panels, I should get some custom-sleeved power supply cables. That involved even more research as I had never even thought of going that route before. It was initially overwhelming, but I narrowed down what I wanted to do, found what companies could help me, and settled on CableMod. This was partly influenced by the fact that someone from CableMod reached out to me and assisted me completely through the process, even giving me some discounts in exchange for the business.

The black and white cables look great in the build, and coupled with some LED strips, have given my build a level of elegance I couldn't have achieved otherwise.

Once I had all the new pieces, I took my build out of the H440 and reassembled it in the Phanteks case. It was a relatively painless process, only complicated by my own inexperience with the case that I rectified fairly easily.


While the X62 Kraken is still in there (and will be for a while as building a custom loop will cost at least $400-600), I feel the build looks so much better in the Phanteks case. The lighting at the moment is just a simple transition from purple to blue, which looks stunning to me. Much like when I first used a mechanical keyboard, I get the hype behind tempered glass. From the right angle, it can look like there's nothing there to stop you from touching the components. The downside is it does show any kind of dust that gets in on the glass and needs to be cleaned fairly regularly, but it still looks stunning.


I mean, look at it.

Of course, I've already began plotting out an upgrade path as there are pieces I'd love to improve. I could always get faster RAM in a more neutral color (the red G Skill initially was a perfect fit in the black and red H440 case, but not so much with the new scheme), but I think in terms of components the first upgrades will be to the GPU and displays. I would go with the ASUS GTX 1080ti Strix, a 1440p display, and a 4k display for editing. Then once that's done, I'd feel better about going with a full custom water loop, which in theory would cool things even more and make my already quiet system even more quiet, especially under load (a downside to the tempered glass; the system is pretty loud once things ramp up, although very silent most of the time).

I also might get one of Phantek's Halo fan shrouds once available for the exhaust fan to add some color to the back of the case.

I also could use a better camera for filming as my Canon Vixia HF R50 is pretty bad. That's another $500-900 depending on quality, lenses, and other factors though, so we'll see if I can do that any time soon.


The history of this build is a long one that spans over 4 years, several revisions, and moments when it seemed it would never happen. Thanks for reading this very long-winded account of that journey. I look forward to seeing where this build, and my content creation, goes next.a


Friday, May 12, 2017

Minecraft SMP | Fall Damage | S1EP01 | Let's look around a bit

Why I won't be buying from NZXT going forward

A few weeks ago I posted an entry discussing my disappointment in NZXT and that it had been 20 days since I had opened a support ticket in regards to connecting the X62 Kraken, case fans, and the fan splitter in the H440 case.

I documented that I had encountered previous issues as well, such as the lack of a power supply bracket, owners manual, and inability to mount the Kraken in the manner that I desired.

I stated that the ball was in NZXT's court and pondered if they'd do anything.

Sadly, it took over 45 days and me posting a semi-rant video on YouTube for them to finally respond to my ticket. You can watch the video below:



As you could see, I was disappointed that 45 days had passed without a response to a problem that I solved myself. I bypassed the hub altogether, bought new fans that run quieter, and created a near-silent experience, even while gaming.

More than anything, I wanted an explanation why 45 days was acceptable for any company to respond to a complaint. Then I realized a friend had been waiting since February for a response to his complaint in regards to his X61 cooler. Searching the internet pulled up numerous other complaints of poor service and a multitude of issues across all products.

Now, I'm going to throw a disclaimer out here right now: You almost always only here about the problems with a product. Yes, reviewers will talk about how great a product is and tout how well it's worked for them, and a majority of people will not have any issues at all.

But for those of us who do encounter issues, I think it's pretty important to respond in a fast manner, especially if said person is thinking about potentially purchasing more products from previously mentioned company. 

Unfortunately, NZXT has been having a lot of problems responding in a timely manner. I mean, it took two weeks for them to respond to my power supply bracket issue, and even then, without the thumb screws, the bracket was useless.

Since that video was posted, NZXT did respond to me. They sent me a new hardware kit, a bunch of thumb screws, and one of their Pucks. It's a "meh" kind of response, and while I appreciate the gesture, the original question was never answered. They did take responsibility for their service, but it doesn't make it okay.

It's even more upsetting when you see how fast their social media team can post and retweet pictures of people tagging them in their builds. You can respond to a tweet real fast, but someone who has a failing X61 Kraken can't get a response?

In all honesty, the fact that it took them 90 days on the dot to respond to my friend's issue upsets me even more. Then they respond by asking him to record the sound the pump is making?

It's been 90 days. He's probably lucky it works at all. Do something for him, don't make him go through anything else, especially when it would likely be at least another week minimum before someone from NZXT gets back to him if he did record the pump noise. That's what happened with me and the bracket. Two weeks to respond to my initial ticket, ask for my invoice, then nearly another week before they responded to send the actual bracket out.

Thankfully my friend has a different cooling solution he can go to, he just has to wait a couple of months to retrieve it.

I will not be purchasing from NZXT going forward, not just because of my issues, but because of the issues my friend has faced, as well as everyone else across the internet not getting answers. I will not be purchasing because the CAM software seems to be getting worse. Now changing a lighting effect causes the fan and pump curves I've set to be reset to the silent profile, which is not okay with me.

I will not be purchasing because I can't take the chance on something else going wrong and not being able to get answers in a timely manner. I get that long wait periods for a response might be the norm, but it shouldn't be, and we shouldn't allow it to be okay. If a company isn't going to step up after you've spent your hard-earned money on their products, then they don't deserve your business in the future.

This means that in the future, I'm going to be looking at purchasing the Phanteks Enthoo Evolv ATX TG case, probably in black. I will be looking at upgrading my cooling to a custom water loop, probably from EKWB.

I'll be recording a video version of this at some point this weekend, mostly to demonstrate the CAM issues that have suddenly popped up and to show the discussion I've had in regards to NZXT's support problems.

I'll keep the H440 and X62 Kraken in case I decide to build a second system, but they will not get use in my primary system once I'm able to make the purchases for the case and water cooling supplies. It may be a while, as the case is nearly $200 and a custom loop is likely going to cost me $400-500, but I believe it will be well-worth it in the long run.

I'm sorry it didn't work out NZXT. Maybe you'll make changes to your service and how fast you help people, especially when they've waited 3 months for a response on a fairly serious issue. Maybe you'll stop trying to add impractical features to CAM and fix the core problems that have existed for a while now (hardware not being recognized, settings disappearing).

I doubt you will though. I'm only one person. However, I'm probably not the only one whose business you've lost.

How much does that matter to you?

------------------------------

And now a word from Kylie:

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Sunday, April 2, 2017

A bone to pick

As the title of this post may indicate, I have a minor bone to pick in regards to one manufacturer that was used in the building of my PC.

For those unaware, I did build a PC recently. It was the culmination of 3 years of constantly changing hardware plans, financial roadblocks, and other things that prevented me from doing it the way I wanted to. I was finally able to not just buy the parts recently, but build the PC and I'm mostly satisfied with it.

Yes, there is always going to be the possibility of buyers regret at some point and I'm no different. However, my issue isn't so much with the quality of said product, but how the company that makes said has handled the multitude of issues that I've run into with one of their products.

For the unfamiliar, my PC is comprised of an Intel i7-5820k processor sitting on an ASUS X99 A-II motherboard. It has 32GB of G Skill Ripjaws V memory at 2400mhz. The CPU is cooled with an NZXT X62 Kraken AIO cooler. My main boot drive is a 256GB Samsung SM951 M.2 NVMe solid state drive; I also have a 1TB Samsung Evo 850 SSD for my steam library, a 500GB Samsung Evo 850 for other games, a 2TB Seagate Barrucuda at 7200RPM for recording to, and a 4TB Seagate Barracuda at 7200RPM for mass storage. Games are powered by an ASUS GTX 1070 Strix OC while the system itself is powered by a Corsair RM850 power supply. The stock fans have been replaced by a Corsair AF140 Red LED fan in the back as well as Noctua SF-P12 fans in the front for better airflow and control. This is all housed in an NZXT H440 Red and Black Matte case, which has been the crux of my issues with this build.

See, the H440 was found on NZXT's website as part of a sale on refurbished products. This case is normally anywhere from $110-120, but it was $99 refurbished. They were offering 30% off of refurbished products, so my price ended up being $69 ($85 after shipping costs). I could not pass that price up as this was the case I had set my sights on.

It arrived less than a week later and I was ecstatic. For a refurbished product, it looked pretty good to me.

Then the issues started cropping up. First thing I noticed was that there was no power supply bracket, which is crucial to keeping the power supply in place. It took over two weeks for NZXT's customer service to finally issue a replacement, but I figured that was not a huge deal. I still hadn't actually bought all the rest of the parts yet, so it wasn't like my system was put together and this was the last thing I needed to do.

Unfortunately, NZXT did not send me any of the thumb screws needed to attach the bracket to the case. The hardware kit had screws to attach the bracket to the power supply, but not the case. That was terribly unfortunate and while their social media team indicated they'd send me some out, I never received them. Thankfully, the HDD trays had captive screws that, with a little work, would do the job for now.

Other minor issues I ran into included not being able to mount my Kraken radiator in a push configuration as the fans pushed against the secondary CPU power and wouldn't allow the fans to spin (something I found semi-surprising since NZXT touts being able to fit a 280mm radiator in the top, and their CAM software occasionally deciding it wasn't going to recognize my Kraken existed. This made tuning the fans and lights more challenging than it needs to be, but this seems to be a regular occurence.

In fact, CAM's buggy nature is what convinced me not to go with the Hue+ kit or any of the other products that use CAM to work since it seems to forget people's settings and not always detect hardware like it should. If it continues to be buggy, I may have to switch to a competitor's AIO or just say fudge it and go into a custom water loop like I am planning to in the future.

One thing that could happen sooner than later though is me switching this build from the H440 into a different case, such as the Phanteks Enthoo Evolv ATX TG, which is one hell of a sexy case, but runs nearly $200. I could also give the Fractal Design R5 Windowed edition a look, but not sure I want to go with another case from 3 years ago as well.

Fact is, there are a ton of case options out there. Cooler Master has a whole slew of new cases out that are intriguing, Corsair has introduced new cases, and Phanteks has a couple of intriguing options. I could easily swap this system out and see what it's like in a new one, especially if NZXT is not going to respond to a simple inquiry about fan set up.

Oh yes, let's not forget what might be my last straw with NZXT.

About 20 days ago, I sent a request into their support team asking how to properly set up my fans since my case, in addition to lacking a power supply bracket, was lacking an owner's manual. You know, that thing that tells you where to connect the 37 wires they have preinstalled on their case.

I didn't have that. The one that's online just talks about how you can connect multiple fans to their fan splitter, but not how to actually set it up. I later found from searching how NZXT wants you to do it, but I'm still disappointed that NZXT couldn't even take 5 minutes and tell me how to do it after nearly 3 weeks.

This has become my biggest gripe with them now though. I am willing to deal with faulty equipment as long as it can be resolved. My ASUS GTX 1070 was bugged out too, but Micro Center helped me resolve it and that issue is in the past. It took 10 minutes of questions and inspection before the guy gladly took the faulty GPU and gave me a new one.

20 days later, NZXT still hasn't answered me on a simple question. I'd hate to see how long it would take if this Kraken stopped working for some reason. It wasn't very reassuring to get an email stating that they were behind on tickets either. This just tells me that their products are not functioning as they should and maybe people shouldn't be buying them.

I don't know. It's hard to write this because I like what NZXT is trying to do. Their Hue+ kits seem nice, but I don't want to pay $60 or $70 for something that seems to break pretty easily (at least per the internet, which is NEVER wrong). The Kraken has been very well-received and highly rated by the review community, but the CAM software has been up and down.

Their products are stylish, seem practical, and are well-received. Some of their stuff just looks awesome. But looking awesome means nothing if it doesn't always work and you can't get reasonable help.

And 20 days is very, very poor service.

In the end, I'm likely switching the build to a new case. I'll keep using the Kraken for now, but am going to keep an eye on the CAM software. It's unlikely that I'll be purchasing anything else from NZXT in the immediate future, unless they get their customer service issues straightened out.

I don't have money to throw around and need my products to work as intended and have all the things needed to work.

The ball is in your court NZXT. How will you respond?

Will you respond?

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Oh, hello blog - a long update

As is often the case, it's been quite a while since I've written anything in here.

Oh sure, I've posted just about every video I've uploaded to YouTube, but that isn't quite the same as a written post, and I know it. I'll admit, I'm surprised somewhat by the high level of views some of the blog posts seem to have accrued, although it hasn't translated into YouTube success as of yet.

Last time I wrote, it was Christmas. A few things have changed since then and a few more are likely to change again.

I built my PC, a project I've been wanting to do since, oh, 2014. It's a pretty beastly machine if I say so myself. It has an i7 5820k processor, lots of fast storage, and a GTX 1070 to run all my games at very high settings and still get great frame rates in the games I play. I have a pair of monitors now, one at 144hz to keep the gaming smooth.

My ex received notification that they are ready to place her in a public housing unit soon. We don't know when, but it's going to happen at some point, which means a major life change (no more every day with Kylie sadly).

Things are still going relatively well at work, even as a lot of stuff is changing there and we're putting together a plan that hopefully means less stress on all of us and the rest of the staff barely notices anything new is going on.

Speaking of Kylie, she's going to be 4 soon. This little girl that at one point was just a lump that cried and occasionally ate is a full-fledged toddler, running full steam and bouncing off of everything. She's my everything and the reason why I do all the things I do to try and keep her life as easy as possible.

None of that is the reason I'm writing anything though. No, unfortunately, for the first time in what feels like ages, I felt that old friend self-doubt starting to creep into my head. It slowly worked its way into my mind yesterday morning, getting my mind working, then went full steam ahead, bringing me down for a little while.

A lot of things contribute to this of course. Being single and basically incapable of dating for the last two years certainly played a factor in it. I've done a decent job of not worrying about that aspect of my life, but I suppose it was only a matter of time before it pushed its way back to the front of my mind.

And now 24 hours later, I feel silly for even feeling that way, but I still want to explore, and maybe even explain to myself, how it happened and how I've already moved it back into the back of my mind.

To keep it simple, the self-doubt stems from earlier years. I was treated very poorly by peers when I was much, much younger, and I never really completely recovered from those days. In a lot of ways, I never forgave some of the people involved in the cruel jokes that were played on me back then, but I suppose some of that is human nature.

Some of it stems from recent things. My teeth being in poor condition certainly hasn't helped. I was never known as someone with a great smile, but that was more a reluctance to smile. That reluctance isn't so heavy now, but now I am insecure with the actual condition of my teeth (one of the lovely joys of genetics) and therefore resist many urges to smile except in certain company.

Some of my self-doubt is related to the fact that who in their right mind would want to even think about dating someone who has bad teeth, has a kid, and has an ex for a roommate? Some of those things are just things in my head, but the last point has been reiterated to me multiple times the few times I've attempted to actually talk to someone.

So I don't even try.

Another mostly unfair aspect of the self-doubt is feeling that certain women I know already would be absolutely perfect to date (mesh well, they get me, etc.) For various reasons, it won't happen. In some cases, distance is the driving force, but in other instances, there are other factors that I simply won't get into as no one needs to know all the details.

For some reason, it hit me hard yesterday though that I feel like some of the best matches for me are impractical at best, and therefore why even bother trying?

It's a weird place for me to be. I very rarely get sad/depressed/whatever you want to call it. I've put a lot of effort into improving my demeanor, not being such a cranky butt, and just being a better person in general. I no longer go on facebook posting attention-seeking things and I try to remember that things I post could be considered a reflection of the job I have.

I've toned it down significantly, something I'm reminded of almost every day when I look at my memories. The further back the posts go in time, the more melodramatic I sound and the more I cringe reading them.

I was worried about so many dumb things five, six years ago. I craved attention. I wanted to be, well, wanted. Unfortunately, my methods to get attention were self-destructing and more often than not, drove off people who otherwise I could have had friendships with and whatnot.

The number of people I exchanged comments with back in those days that aren't even on my radar these days is higher than it should be, but I do realize some of that is just people moving on in one way or another.

I know I'm a better person now though. Little things don't tend to drag me down. I'm not obsessing over who wants to talk to me, who doesn't, and if I'm going to date again. I'm not chasing people trying to convince them I'm worth talking to.

So it feels weird when I have an off day, a day where I feel completely worthless.

And it keeps things in perspective for me.

There are people that spend 90% of their lives feeling that way. The sad days FAR outweigh the happy days.

I can't fathom living life that way because my mind isn't wired that way. Sure, yesterday was not a good day for me, but I'd be willing to bet that unless I let my guard down, most would never have ever guessed it was a bad day. I didn't let my guard down though. I tried very hard to not let it impact how I treated other people because other people weren't the reason I felt how I felt.

I've grown as a person over the last couple of years. Having Kylie has helped me realize just how trivial other things are in life. I used to be a HUGE sports fan. I was so invested in all the teams and was the type of person that would get real angry if the team I rooted for didn't perform well. It would affect my mood and how I treated people.

While I still follow my teams and try to go to games, my life does not revolve around sports anymore. I've probably watched maybe 5 Cavs games this season and I LOVE basketball. I love the Cavs. But Kylie wants to watch Bubble Guppies so guess what's on my TV?

I find it scary now when someone on social media flips out over sports. Or anything else that isn't family, job, or health related. We spend so much time worrying about things that aren't important and often lose sight of what is. The worst I've been about that in the last few months has actually been because of this PC I built.

I was so hell-bent on doing it, it consumed me. Yet even then, it wasn't all that bad because Kylie helped me with so much of the process. She helped me unbox most of the parts, helped me build a lot of the stuff, and has constantly been involved at some point with the process. Just watch my last video in the PC Build Vlog series. She pretty much helped me build my chair from start to finish, helped me put the softbox lights I bought.

So even in something that had consumed me, she was part of it and it became something we did together at times.

My mentality has completely shifted since Kylie was born. I'm a happier person because of her.

My boss has helped push that in me too. Whether she ever really knows it, Kelley has been a huge factor in getting me to stop being such a grump and be a better person.

I still have a lot of room to grow, but I feel I've come a long way.

Some might wonder if this means the snark is gone, if I've stopped using sarcasm.

I haven't. But I pick my spots better and do a better job of showing compassion when it's needed.


In the end, if I'm meant to date someone, it'll happen. It won't likely be soon because of my current situation, but someday, someone could potentially come along that's perfect for me. One bad day doesn't change that mentality, but letting that one bad become a bad week, then bad month doesn't help things either.

I mean, I've become the type of person I used to loathe; the happy-go-lucky look at the bright side kind of person.

I can typically see the positive in any situation now and always tell myself it could be worse. I know it could be. I see it every day in people who are clients where I work, people who are truly struggling with issues that often aren't of their own making, but due to things beyond their control. I've seen how bad it can be, how much the mind can go, how dark it can be.

I'm not anywhere close to that and hope I never am. Depression and anxiety are horrible things that a lot of people still don't understand. Mental health overall continues to be something that most would rather avoid than try to understand, and those who suffer from mental health issues often find themselves all alone in trying to cope.

It's a terrible thing.

Anyway, I wanted to write something to get a few things off my chest and I wrote a damn novel as always. If you've read this far, bless your soul.

I might do more, I might not. I do occasionally vlog on my YouTube channel and I'm considering getting more personal with them, but I'm still undecided.  YouTube can be a vicious place, but then again, so can social media overall.

That's a rant for another time.

Thanks for reading.