Tales from the pharmacy - Get a job hippie!

The circumstances that led me to apply for my first job have long become clouded over in my memory. I know it mostly out of necessity given how things had been at home for the last several years, but I'm sure it was also decided as a character building exercise as well.

What I can be sure of is it needed to happen. Things had been rough for a while with my dad hardly working (or being around for that matter) and my mom trying to get where she wanted to get to with her nursing career by working multiple jobs while putting herself through school.

As I approached my 17th birthday, we somehow came to the conclusion I should try to get a job in retail, presumably somewhere small where I wouldn't be overwhelmed. I could be making that up though. I don't really remember why we ultimately decided on me walking up to Revco, which was next to Stop-N-Shop in the plaza across from the end of my street on Hickory Ridge.

For those unfamiliar with either name, well, thanks for showing my age. Revco was one of the larger drug store chains until CVS bought it out and Stop-N-Shop was the big local grocery store before Giant Eagle took over the town. Revco seemed like a safe place to start my working career, and since it was within walking distance of my house, it was real ideal.

Naturally, things didn't pan out quite how my mom and I anticipated of course. The Revco in Brunswick wasn't hiring, so they sent my application to the store in Strongsville, which was looking for cashiers. I received a call from the store manager, who asked me to come in for an interview. I did and not longer after that, I was offered a job, which my mom felt I needed to accept even if it complicated how I was going to get there at first.

Remember, I was 16, just a couple months short of being 17. Yes, I had a driver's license, but we only had one car, which meant we were going to have to find a way to make it work until I could afford my own car.

My mom, as was often the case, assured me it would work. Another thing we had to work out was how much was I going to work. I was entering my Junior year in high school, which meant balancing school and work was a real thing I had sort through. Again, my mom helped me balance things out, which was tremendously helpful. The plan was put in place and I was set to begin my first day of work.

*     *     *

There's always been a sense of irony to me that my first day of work was on Labor Day, but that's how it worked out. I started on September 1, 1997. I was one of two new hires, the other being a girl whose name I sadly never retained after all these years for a reason that will be explained in a bit.

I was nervous as I had no idea what to expect throughout the course of the day. I was given the customary tour of the place, and for the first time, had a glimpse of what a store looked like behind the scenes. I had no idea that the infamous candy selection overstock was kept in boxes inside of the office, spanning several rows of shelves. Nor did I realize how many boxes were kept in the backroom.

I also had no idea that most of the current employees were a bit apprehensive. At the time, CVS was in the midst of buying out Revco, so while the store was still operating under the Revco name, it was assumed that the deal was going to be completed and major changes could be coming.

It was a close group though. Many of them had been working together for quite some time, so they were comfortable with one another. Thankfully, my sarcasm fit right in and I acclimated myself to the group fairly quickly. In fact, my longest-running friendship still exists to this day with Mike and Debbie, two people who took me under their wings and helped guide me.

Another person, the pharmacist-in-charge, Steve, ended up becoming the father figure I so desperately needed, particularly given the continued absence of my own dad. Steve was the guy I could talk sports with, the guy who helped me learn how to tie a tie, the guy who gave advice whenever I needed it. He was friendly and caring, even when customers were being nasty to him.

Thankfully, my first day was mostly uneventful. It was a 5 hour shift that was mostly spent learning how to run a cash register and the responsibilities I was expected to have. Of course, this didn't last long as much more responsibility was thrust upon me faster than I could anticipate.

Sadly, the girl that was hired alongside myself didn't last long.

Keep in mind, this was 1997. They were just starting to stiffen the penalties for underage drinking, which meant there was a lot of emphasis on checking ID's to make sure someone was legal to buy alcohol. This also meant police departments were running frequent stings to see if cashiers were adhering to the rules.

Well, the sting operation hit us one night. I was working the floor and she was working the register, so I wasn't at the counter when it happened, but saw the police come in shortly after it happened to talk to my manager. She was escorted out of the building and I never saw her again. She was a nice girl who unfortunately forgot to check ID one time. From that point on, I checked everyone's ID, and when people had an attitude about it, I told them I watched someone get taken out of her for not checking, so they can deal with it.

Within my first week on the job, I had learned how to ring up a customer on the register, watched a coworker get taken out of the building and ultimately lose their job, made life-long friends, and start doing plan-o-grams and other stock work.

It was an interesting start to what has become a 20 year journey at this stage and one filled with stories covering all types of emotions. Over the next several months, I plan on telling some of the more memorable stories, at least the ones I can remember enough details about.

I ask that if you have a story you think is worth telling from any time working with me that you send it along to me. I want to include as much as I can, but obviously my memory can only help so much, so anyone who can fill in the gaps is welcome to.

I will try to keep these in some kind of chronological order, but ultimately they may fall out of order as I remember things randomly.

Stay tuned for more by following the blog and I'll see you in the next one.

Oh, hello blog - a long update

As is often the case, it's been quite a while since I've written anything in here.

Oh sure, I've posted just about every video I've uploaded to YouTube, but that isn't quite the same as a written post, and I know it. I'll admit, I'm surprised somewhat by the high level of views some of the blog posts seem to have accrued, although it hasn't translated into YouTube success as of yet.

Last time I wrote, it was Christmas. A few things have changed since then and a few more are likely to change again.

I built my PC, a project I've been wanting to do since, oh, 2014. It's a pretty beastly machine if I say so myself. It has an i7 5820k processor, lots of fast storage, and a GTX 1070 to run all my games at very high settings and still get great frame rates in the games I play. I have a pair of monitors now, one at 144hz to keep the gaming smooth.

My ex received notification that they are ready to place her in a public housing unit soon. We don't know when, but it's going to happen at some point, which means a major life change (no more every day with Kylie sadly).

Things are still going relatively well at work, even as a lot of stuff is changing there and we're putting together a plan that hopefully means less stress on all of us and the rest of the staff barely notices anything new is going on.

Speaking of Kylie, she's going to be 4 soon. This little girl that at one point was just a lump that cried and occasionally ate is a full-fledged toddler, running full steam and bouncing off of everything. She's my everything and the reason why I do all the things I do to try and keep her life as easy as possible.

None of that is the reason I'm writing anything though. No, unfortunately, for the first time in what feels like ages, I felt that old friend self-doubt starting to creep into my head. It slowly worked its way into my mind yesterday morning, getting my mind working, then went full steam ahead, bringing me down for a little while.

A lot of things contribute to this of course. Being single and basically incapable of dating for the last two years certainly played a factor in it. I've done a decent job of not worrying about that aspect of my life, but I suppose it was only a matter of time before it pushed its way back to the front of my mind.

And now 24 hours later, I feel silly for even feeling that way, but I still want to explore, and maybe even explain to myself, how it happened and how I've already moved it back into the back of my mind.

To keep it simple, the self-doubt stems from earlier years. I was treated very poorly by peers when I was much, much younger, and I never really completely recovered from those days. In a lot of ways, I never forgave some of the people involved in the cruel jokes that were played on me back then, but I suppose some of that is human nature.

Some of it stems from recent things. My teeth being in poor condition certainly hasn't helped. I was never known as someone with a great smile, but that was more a reluctance to smile. That reluctance isn't so heavy now, but now I am insecure with the actual condition of my teeth (one of the lovely joys of genetics) and therefore resist many urges to smile except in certain company.

Some of my self-doubt is related to the fact that who in their right mind would want to even think about dating someone who has bad teeth, has a kid, and has an ex for a roommate? Some of those things are just things in my head, but the last point has been reiterated to me multiple times the few times I've attempted to actually talk to someone.

So I don't even try.

Another mostly unfair aspect of the self-doubt is feeling that certain women I know already would be absolutely perfect to date (mesh well, they get me, etc.) For various reasons, it won't happen. In some cases, distance is the driving force, but in other instances, there are other factors that I simply won't get into as no one needs to know all the details.

For some reason, it hit me hard yesterday though that I feel like some of the best matches for me are impractical at best, and therefore why even bother trying?

It's a weird place for me to be. I very rarely get sad/depressed/whatever you want to call it. I've put a lot of effort into improving my demeanor, not being such a cranky butt, and just being a better person in general. I no longer go on facebook posting attention-seeking things and I try to remember that things I post could be considered a reflection of the job I have.

I've toned it down significantly, something I'm reminded of almost every day when I look at my memories. The further back the posts go in time, the more melodramatic I sound and the more I cringe reading them.

I was worried about so many dumb things five, six years ago. I craved attention. I wanted to be, well, wanted. Unfortunately, my methods to get attention were self-destructing and more often than not, drove off people who otherwise I could have had friendships with and whatnot.

The number of people I exchanged comments with back in those days that aren't even on my radar these days is higher than it should be, but I do realize some of that is just people moving on in one way or another.

I know I'm a better person now though. Little things don't tend to drag me down. I'm not obsessing over who wants to talk to me, who doesn't, and if I'm going to date again. I'm not chasing people trying to convince them I'm worth talking to.

So it feels weird when I have an off day, a day where I feel completely worthless.

And it keeps things in perspective for me.

There are people that spend 90% of their lives feeling that way. The sad days FAR outweigh the happy days.

I can't fathom living life that way because my mind isn't wired that way. Sure, yesterday was not a good day for me, but I'd be willing to bet that unless I let my guard down, most would never have ever guessed it was a bad day. I didn't let my guard down though. I tried very hard to not let it impact how I treated other people because other people weren't the reason I felt how I felt.

I've grown as a person over the last couple of years. Having Kylie has helped me realize just how trivial other things are in life. I used to be a HUGE sports fan. I was so invested in all the teams and was the type of person that would get real angry if the team I rooted for didn't perform well. It would affect my mood and how I treated people.

While I still follow my teams and try to go to games, my life does not revolve around sports anymore. I've probably watched maybe 5 Cavs games this season and I LOVE basketball. I love the Cavs. But Kylie wants to watch Bubble Guppies so guess what's on my TV?

I find it scary now when someone on social media flips out over sports. Or anything else that isn't family, job, or health related. We spend so much time worrying about things that aren't important and often lose sight of what is. The worst I've been about that in the last few months has actually been because of this PC I built.

I was so hell-bent on doing it, it consumed me. Yet even then, it wasn't all that bad because Kylie helped me with so much of the process. She helped me unbox most of the parts, helped me build a lot of the stuff, and has constantly been involved at some point with the process. Just watch my last video in the PC Build Vlog series. She pretty much helped me build my chair from start to finish, helped me put the softbox lights I bought.

So even in something that had consumed me, she was part of it and it became something we did together at times.

My mentality has completely shifted since Kylie was born. I'm a happier person because of her.

My boss has helped push that in me too. Whether she ever really knows it, Kelley has been a huge factor in getting me to stop being such a grump and be a better person.

I still have a lot of room to grow, but I feel I've come a long way.

Some might wonder if this means the snark is gone, if I've stopped using sarcasm.

I haven't. But I pick my spots better and do a better job of showing compassion when it's needed.

In the end, if I'm meant to date someone, it'll happen. It won't likely be soon because of my current situation, but someday, someone could potentially come along that's perfect for me. One bad day doesn't change that mentality, but letting that one bad become a bad week, then bad month doesn't help things either.

I mean, I've become the type of person I used to loathe; the happy-go-lucky look at the bright side kind of person.

I can typically see the positive in any situation now and always tell myself it could be worse. I know it could be. I see it every day in people who are clients where I work, people who are truly struggling with issues that often aren't of their own making, but due to things beyond their control. I've seen how bad it can be, how much the mind can go, how dark it can be.

I'm not anywhere close to that and hope I never am. Depression and anxiety are horrible things that a lot of people still don't understand. Mental health overall continues to be something that most would rather avoid than try to understand, and those who suffer from mental health issues often find themselves all alone in trying to cope.

It's a terrible thing.

Anyway, I wanted to write something to get a few things off my chest and I wrote a damn novel as always. If you've read this far, bless your soul.

I might do more, I might not. I do occasionally vlog on my YouTube channel and I'm considering getting more personal with them, but I'm still undecided.  YouTube can be a vicious place, but then again, so can social media overall.

That's a rant for another time.

Thanks for reading.

Has it really been this long?

Hi again.

It's been a long time, hasn't it?

I do believe aside from YouTube spam, it's been nearly 10 months since I last wrote in here.

Some of it is a continuing lack of time. I only have so much time once Kylie goes to sleep to work on anything, and typically I either want to play a game, work on something with my channels, contribute to a tech site, write something, or just look up various things.

More often than not though, by the time Kylie is asleep around 10:30 or 11pm, I'm exhausted. I don't have the energy to do anything too strenuous and I'm creatively tapped out. Then I end up having trouble sleeping, or Kylie wakes up a few times, or the cats run me over, etc, etc.

Really though, it just comes down to not getting enough sleep consistently, working a different schedule at work, and a rambunctious child that isn't always so willing to go to bed, plus the fact that I'm still sharing an apartment with my ex and her oldest. There's always something to clean-up, something to take care, and that takes a toll as well.

That's not what I want to write about though.

See, recently my sister messaged me through Facebook and told me someone I used to know way back when had tried to reach her two years ago looking for me. I got curious and went into messenger and discovered I had 3 different message requests, all from at least two years ago, that I had NEVER seen. I had no idea because at the time, my privacy settings were much more strict than they are now. Facebook just didn't notify me and I had never noticed.

Two were from ex girlfriends that I hadn't spoken to in a long while. The third though was from a girl I had talked to many, many years ago. Hell, I'm not even sure what social media site it was to be honest (I have a guess in my head, but cannot confirm), but it pre-dated Facebook, Twitter, and even Myspace. I remembered chatting with her, but what we talked about escapes me. What I'll never forget is how uniquely her name is spelled. It's really hard to forget a name when it isn't spelled like you'd expect.

What she remembered was enjoying my writing, which makes sense. Years ago, I often bounced from site to site depending on where I could write. I know I used to occasionally write short stories, but much like even now, a lot of my writing was what was going on, things that agitated me, and a whole lot of woe-is-me type of nonsense that I try to avoid these days.

What struck me is how much effort this woman made to try and track me down two years ago. She tried to add me on Facebook (which was impossible at the time), and when that didn't work, she found my sister and tried to reach out to her. Of course, my sister didn't get it until this week, but once she did she let me know, I checked mine, and reached out to this woman.

Much to my surprise, she was excited that I messaged her, which in hindsight really shouldn't have surprised me. One of the things that I remember about her was she was one of the few genuinely nice people that I encountered in social media's infant stage, which is when we originally talked. While there are often still concerns about whether someone's who they say they are, back then it was even harder to pin down whether someone was legitimate or not. This woman seemed too good to be true, but she was always up for a chat.

It's also a reminder that distance isn't what determines friendships. She lives in a different state from me and has experienced some things of her own in the time we haven't talked, but I think that's only going to give us more to talk about in the coming days and months and I'm interested to see what her life has been like and see where it goes.

It kind of ties into what I had for a blog idea earlier about how many early "social media" sites were really just sites that were all about rating one another and so on. I remember a few that existed, "SWYDM (aka So Would You Do Me), "Hot or Not," and the shamelessly titled "RateMyBody," which was EXACTLY how you think it would be like.

Yet SWYDM in particular had a good run where I talked with people and had a lot of fun, even if at its core it was a relatively shallow site. The people I met though made it more than what it was originally meant to be.

Like a lot of things on the internet though, the site evolved and changed, and as it did, it became less appealing for me to hang around on. It eventually changed its name and I eventually stopped going there. I want to say it was after that   when I migrated to Myspace, where I spent a good portion of my time before it became such a waste and Facebook rose to prominence.

Life moved on, things changed, people came and went, and here I am, in December of 2016, still living with my ex, her oldest, and of course little Miss Kylie Brooke.

There's been a small influx of familiar faces of late though; people I used to know years ago finding me on Facebook and chatting it up on occasion. It's been nice to reconnect with some and remember why they were fun.

*Intermission*

I'm currently typing this blog post on my new keyboard, a Logitech G910 (the unboxing is one of the previous posts from this), which is part of why I'm anxious to write more in the future. Typing things up on a laptop keyboard is not fun and this keyboard is a HUGE improvement.

I also want to mention if you like old-school video game type of music (which I just found out is called Chiptune music), an artist by the name of tiasu is incredible. His stuff is on Spotify and if you want to buy individual albums, you can find him on Bandcamp. It's catchy, it's diverse, and I'm digging it so far.

*End Intermission*

I can't promise I'll be posting a lot in the immediate future, much like my YouTube and Twitch channels have been suffering. I do believe things will pick up once my living situation is different and in terms of games, I definitely think things will improve when I finally can put together a beast of a PC and upgrade the rest of my equipment as well.

I just know that there are some out there who really enjoy when I write and it's something I should really be making a better effort at when I have 20 minutes to sit down.

I do have my annual letter to Santa to compose, plus I do occasionally have ideas pop in my head. The key is to remember my Note allows me to write on the screen with the stylus even when the screen is off, which is a great way to jot down ideas.

I also want to record a vlog at least bi-weekly, but that's dependent on things happening in my life worth recording and talking about. They are fun to put together though, so I should try to do more, especially when I have such a fantastically awful story about Walmart and shoes for Kylie to relay.

I'm going to attempt to record that this weekend, but we'll see.

It is the holiday season though, so for the love of all things great, please be nice to each other. I know a lot of us are still trying to wrap our heads around Donald Trump being elected President, but it doesn't make it okay to act like pieces of crap towards each other. Show some love, be kind, and remember that person you're disgusted with is an actual human being and you really aren't any better than them.

I'll catch you guys later.

Maybe.

TBT - Revisiting an Old Entry

Back on 10/22/12, I wrote this piece about what I was thinking about once I realized I was going to be a dad for the first time. It was an exciting, yet scary time for me personally, but has been one hell of a ride since her birth.

Now that Kylie is approaching 2 years old, Rachel came up with a great idea to revisit this post and respond to some of the things I had written. Sections of the original post will appear in this entry in italics, while my responses will be in bold.

I hope you enjoy this look back at how I originally felt and how I see things now.

I don't want that same experience for my future kid (or kids).  I don't want them to grow up and wonder the same things I wondered.  I always envisioned myself being a better father to my kids than my dad was towards me.  I want for them what I missed, what I wished I would have experienced.

This is still something I strive for. There are so many "what-ifs" revolving around my childhood experience, and while there will always be missed opportunities, I want to keep those to a minimum with Kylie and Payton.

I can't overstate how awesome it is to have a girlfriend in Rachel who loves football and baseball though.  Guys, always appreciate it when you find a girl like that because there are certainly a number of them out there who could care less about sports in general.

This is no joke. It's always easier to be in a relationship when both of you have similar interests. Hell, she even sits and watches the Cavs with me. That type of thing goes a long way.

I don't want my child to have to do that.  I want him/her to relish the moments we have, grow up and know that I'm there when they need me to be, but also to push the way my mom tried to push us.  I want my child to fondly remember his/her childhood moments, not possibly be the plot behind some made-for-tv special about child abuse and drugs.

I admittedly probably enjoy this last line a lot more than I should, but it's still true.

Why all this gibber gabber?  Rachel is pregnant and expecting her second child and my first.  We were trying to wait to make an official announcement, but the cat's out of the bag and I can now openly write about what will be first experience in fatherhood.

What are my emotions?  I'm excited, I'm happy, I'm anxious, and even a little scared.  This is as unknown a territory as a person can possibly enter.  Sure, there are thousands of books, online articles, and other sources of information on being a parent.  There's the expertise of Rachel, who has three years experience now.  Yet you never really know what to expect.  Is it a boy, is it a girl, will they be a loud baby, a quiet baby?  Will they listen when they get older or will they be defiant?  Will they need meds?  Will everything come out okay?

The emotional roller coaster went on the entire time Rachel was pregnant, maybe more so for her, but I definitely experienced them. You start thinking about what if the child has some kind of birth defect, or genetic issue, or anything that could be bad.  You see stories online all the time of babies not living beyond a few hours or days and you hope and pray that isn't you.

In summary, all the books in the world won't prepare you enough, but being mentally strong will get you through most anything. We found out it was going to be a girl, and after some wrestling with names, we settled on Kylie Brooke. For the most part she was quiet, but she had her loud moments. She's become somewhat defiant as she's gotten older, but nothing too horribly bad. And while she tried to scare us all by not breathing on her own initially due to her cord being around neck, she pulled through and is a completely healthy, feisty, yet small little girl.
Yet despite all the uncertainty that comes with the pregnancy and then actual raising of the child, I'm excited.  I look forward to being the dad that squishes his kid's face just because it looks funny to him.  I look forward to carrying him/her around as an infant, then complaining when they can walk but still want to be carried.  I look forward to their first words, then getting irritated because they won't stop talking back to me because they want that one singular toy.

Rachel mentioned last night as we discussed me writing this that one thing that's unique about us as a couple is either one of us is likely to mess with Kylie. Carrying her around and watching her take in the world was amazing to me, and while she still likes to be carried (more I think because she likes snuggling up to us), she can move pretty fast on her feet. The words are coming more and more with each week, and while she doesn't babble on about wanting a toy, she will grab anything she thinks she wants off the store shelves.

I have a chance to do the things with this child that I wanted my dad to do with me.  If I'm lucky, this child will enjoy video games like me and I'll have a video game buddy (even better if Payton and Rachel join in).  I've always admired a youtuber by the name of paulsoaresjr who plays and records Minecraft, but also plays with all three of his kids and his wife on occasion.  It may not seem like much to most, but it's a way for him to stay connected with his kids as they get older, something most parents have to face at some point (two of his kids are in high school now).

Payton has shown a mild interest in games, so I'm fairly certain in a little while she'll be able to play some with me. Kylie likes running around with my broken Xbox 360 controller, but I can't say for sure if that means she's going to be into games or not. I still have an admiration for any gamer/YouTuber who plays and records games with their family. It's pretty cool to me.

I look forward to all the appointments leading up to the child being born, the first laugh, the first cry (after that, I'll probably be done with the crying), the first time I have to get up to take care of the baby in the middle of the night (again, probably done after that), the first crawl, the first steps, the first fall, the first run, the first big fall, the first teeth, and so on.

This is when things started to get wild. Hearing her heart beat for the first time, seeing the ultrasound pictures, and seeing the progress being made prior to her birth are things I won't forget. Nor will I forget the first time I was able to hold her. The crying is disheartening when they're younger because they can't tell you what's wrong and it's not always super obvious. It's sometimes trial by error as you try to figure out what's wrong and hope you hit on a solution.

While Rachel was breast feeding, we were both getting up in the middle of the night. I'd change Kylie, then hand her off and we'd all pass out in the bed together. Once Rachel stopped feeding her and started on a medication to help her sleep, it became and has stayed primarily my responsibility to grab Ky when she wakes up in the middle of the night. More often than not she's sleeping until the 5-7am range, so it's not too bad.  Rachel will attempt to grab her if she happens to wake up before she goes to bed, but that doesn't happen a lot.

I wasn't around for the very first crawl, but I did manage to catch her next attempt (which was motivated by pizza). I happened to be recording her again when she took her first big steps by herself, and while it's hard to say if I saw her first fall, I've seen plenty, including her rolling off of the couch and the bed. Her first teeth led to an explosion in what she could eat. The kid had already become a vacuum towards food, but having teeth has made it easier for her to eat just about anything.

The words are most exciting right now though. She's learning different words and phrases and hearing her use them correctly is more than a little exciting.
So while there are uncertainties and questions, there's also excitement and joy.  I get to be a dad, and it gets to be my minion.

Yes, I've been calling it a minion.  There's nothing any of you can do about it either.

She was also a Velociraptor for a long period of time too, which was only reinforced once she was born and would make this ungodly squealing noise when she'd see the cats. She doesn't make it as often anymore, but it was her battle cry for many months.

The end of May is a long way away though.  That means there's plenty of time to prepare for all the things that come with having a new baby. Supplies will be bought, a bigger living arrangement will be pursued, and we will try to be as prepared as possible when the new life comes into the picture.

The truth is, you can never be fully prepared. Many times, you will realize you're out of diapers or wipes. The baby will need Motrin when you can't find it or have just run out. That said, we did move into a bigger apartment (that's no longer big enough) and have tried to at least keep up with how she's developing.

Our minion will need a name once we know whether we're having a boy or girl, and that to me is going to be one of the more challenging parts of the equation.  In the past, I had thought about names, but when I go through and think about it now, nothing jumps out at me yet.  Maybe it's because we don't know the sex of it yet, but as of now, even going through some lists of baby names, nothing has jumped at me just yet.

Kylie Brooke!

Life will certainly change come the end of May.  Rachel is still encouraging me to sign up for next year's Warrior Dash, but I've been hedging since it takes place at the very beginning of June and I don't want there to be a conflict.  Now, don't get me wrong, if Rachel is in labor when the Warrior Dash takes place, I'm not going.  Simple as that.  In an ideal world, the child would come either before or after the actual event.

Kylie decided that she was done playing in Rachel's belly and was born May 19th, which was about a week and a half before her actual due date. It ended up working out in the long run.

The world isn't ideal though and things already somewhat revolve around the unborn child.  I have to consider the idea of buying as many baby supply items as possible so that we don't have to worry about that as much during the first couple of months.  I have to make sure I have money set aside because there is going to be a period of time when Rachel isn't going to be able to work.

Money...it's always an issue, isn't it? 

In the end, I'm excited for the future new addition and the changes it will bring.  I'm excited for the memories that will be created by this addition.

Most importantly though, I'm excited about the chance to be the dad that I wish that I had.

Get ready world, our minion is coming.

And boy did she ever arrive. 

On a side note, we ran in the Run of the Dead this past weekend and it was a pretty good time.  Some of the zombies talked a little more than I thought and some of the zombie kids were a bit rambunctious, but it was still fun and something we'd both do again given the opportunity.  It was down in Plymouth, OH, so it was a bit of a drive to get there, but we got there early and ran at a pretty decent pace considering Rachel hadn't run in a while and is a couple months along with the pregnancy.

But yeah, the main point of this?  I have a minion on the way.

Duck and cover people, duck and cover.

I ducked, I covered, and it hasn't helped. My child is somehow able to break my defenses every time.

Moving Forward

Now that I've covered life changes in the previous entry, perhaps we can get back to blogging as normal.

I've typically reserved this blog to talk about sports because, well, I like sports. I like them a lot. They're much more fun when the teams I root for are good, but sometimes more entertaining when they're not.

For instance, after LeBron James left the Cleveland Cavaliers, the team was a train wreck, but it sometimes amusing to see how poorly they'd play. Kyrie Irving made things more interesting, but the team was still bad. It became more interesting when Dion Waiters joined the team, but all in all, this team was pretty awful for the most part. Last season was perhaps once of the weirdest seasons in recent memory, drawing some entertaining commentary from social media.

Well, James is back, the team started slowly but has become a powerhouse again, and they are generally fun to watch just because when the team is clicking, they are almost unbeatable.

I also follow the Indians and the Browns, but I tend not to talk as much about them for a few reasons. With the Indians, it's such a long season and there are so many who get much more in-depth with their discussions that it never seems like I should really try to discuss them much. Baseball is probably my favorite sport to attend live, but I don't get too excited writing about it.

The Browns have just been a trainwreck since 1999, so it's been really challenging to find motivation to discuss them. Look at this past season. The team was 7-4 and looked to be on the cusp of something big, yet fell completely apart and resumed being a laughingstock again. I won't even get into all the disasters that befell this franchise, but needless to say, most of it was ugly.

Blogging used to be my way of blowing off steam, my way of dealing with the issues that I had to deal with over the course of a day, week, month, and so on. I've gotten away from that in a lot of manners, but part of me feels I need to occasionally get back into that groove. It was a great way to vent and get things off my chest.

I also have my gaming hobby that I could occasionally discuss, but I've been reluctant to bring them up simply because I'm far too casual of a gamer to feel justified in writing about anything about them. It's another situation where I feel many more people write and talk about games far more competently than I ever could, even though my knowledge of games, consoles, and PC hardware/software has grown tremendously.

So chances are pretty good that 60-75% of the content in here will still be about sports, but I'm going to try and sprinkle more random things in here. I may even occasionally put short entries detailing things that the kids of said/done since it can be pretty wild and entertaining at times.

One of the problems I am trying to tell myself to overcome is the need to write longer entries to justify the act of writing. I've never been big on putting short, concise posts up, but I think I'm getting to the point where I think putting something short and sweet up a few times a week is far better than refusing to write unless it turns into a 34 paragraph essay filled with intense and deep thoughts.

I've also considered when I do Vlogs, putting a post up with a link to that Vlog so people can check it out (especially if I'm able to embed it into the entry itself).

I feel there's so much more I can do to express myself, whether it's via blog or my channel on YouTube, but like I mentioned in my last entry, so much of it comes down to time. It's why I haven't really gone crazy promoting my channel.

It's time consuming and I just don't have the time or energy to do it on a consistent basis. Is it hurting the growth of my channel? Absolutely, just like not feeling I can commit to doing collaborations with other YouTubers is hurting the growth as well. The best I can hope for is to post the video links in here, push the videos on the sites that I do utilize, and see what happens.

In the end, I'm opinionated, but I've been keeping my opinions to myself more often than not lately.

It might be time to change that.

Anyway, thanks for being patient with me as I try to decide what's going to happen here, with my channel, and if I decide to build a web site for my "Kracker Gaming" brand.