Let's talk 2016

Let's be really honest.

2015 was not a good year.

Yes, there were good moments (virtually anything involving Kylie and getting a modest raise at work among the highlights), but it was a turbulent year filled with a lot of ups and downs, including the ending of a long relationship that nearly crashed and burned in the process.

I don't want turbulent anymore. I want better.

I want calm.

I know that's a pipe dream. Life in itself isn't calm. Things happen that you have NO control over, and those things can take a calm life and turn it upside down. 

There are things that could happen. Someone could get injured or pass away. My car could break down. There are a litany of unknown things that could happen to completely upset the calm that I look to achieve.

I accept that because that's life. However, I will do my damndest to avoid it happening to me.

I want 2016 to be great. I want it to be successful. I want the best for everyone and things to break my way a few times. I want to better take advantage of whatever opportunities come my way (and believe me, fewer come your way as you get older).

But mostly, I just want the year to be great for Kylie.

I've been stressing this for months now and it continues to hold true. I want happiness for Kylie, whether if she's with me or with her mother. I see far too many parents bicker over what's best for their kid after they've gone their separate ways and that's just not good for the kid.

When she's with me, she's number one. Even if she's not with me during the week, she's still number one. This is something ALL will be expected to understand. If you can't, then get the fudge out and don't let the door hit you.

Seriously though, it's not about what I want. It's about what's best for that child. If it means missing some time with her so she can do something fun with her mom, then there shouldn't be an issue with it. Too many parents are unwilling to swallow their pride and work together to ensure their kid is happy. They want to be in control and determine what happens.

So I want her to have a great year no matter where she's at.

Ultimately, this year needs to be a year when I take a new step forward. One way or another, my life needs to be better when 2016 closes out. 

It means being a better person overall.

No, it does mean the snark is going away. Snarkiness will always be a part of who I am, but picking and choosing when to be snarky needs to improve.

It means putting 100% behind what I'm doing, not 75% and hoping no one notices the slacking I did on the other 25%.

It means branching out and trying new things.

It means fixing what I can fix and not stressing about the things I can't fix.

In my head, there are several things I'd like to be better with and the hope is that putting these ideas into writing will help keep me on track. 

Here are some things I'd like to accomplish in 2016:

• Get back into running and working out on a regular basis.
  
• Be a better coworker
  
• Be a better/more consistent friend
  
• Make the most of the time I get with Kylie
  
• Get back into my YouTube/Twitch hobby and improve with it
  
• Build/buy a new, more powerful PC
  
• Make as many new connections as possible and maintain those connections
  
• Start putting money aside in the hopes of getting a house in the future
  
• Win the lottery
  
• Take care of everyone close to me after winning the lottery
  
• Fix my damn teeth
  
• Enjoy where life takes me

I know the chances of winning the lottery are insanely slim, but I have so many ideas of what I'd do if I did win it's not funny. I'd obviously take care of those closest to me, but I'd also build a house, buy a new car (or two), set up the gaming/recording room of my dreams, do the YouTube/Twitch thing full-time, take Kylie to a bunch of places, and just live life freely.

No, it's not going to happen, but I can dream, right?

Most everything else though can be achieved with a little hard work and dedication, and that's something I'm capable of doing when I'm not being a complete lazy butt.

Seriously though, I want this year to be great.

You'll note I didn't include anything about dating in this. While I believe the possibility of dating is there, it's not something I'm expecting as I will be spending almost half the year nearly completely focused on work and Kylie, so time will not be on my side for most anything else that isn't necessary.

While it would be nice to be with someone who supports me and all that fun stuff, it's not something that's required for me to be happy. It would just be a nice bonus if it were to happen. I'm not going to be the type that requires a relationship to be happy with myself. If it happens, it's because that person adds that much more to my life.

There's some excitement, but also uncertainty with this year. I don't know where I'm going to be come July, but I will be somewhere in the general area. I do know my weekends will be strictly Kylie time, and even some of my time during the week.

The idea is to make the most of the year. You're either along for the ride, or you're not part of it at all.

Here's to a great 2016 for not just myself, but for everyone.

We can all do better.

Moving Forward

Now that I've covered life changes in the previous entry, perhaps we can get back to blogging as normal.

I've typically reserved this blog to talk about sports because, well, I like sports. I like them a lot. They're much more fun when the teams I root for are good, but sometimes more entertaining when they're not.

For instance, after LeBron James left the Cleveland Cavaliers, the team was a train wreck, but it sometimes amusing to see how poorly they'd play. Kyrie Irving made things more interesting, but the team was still bad. It became more interesting when Dion Waiters joined the team, but all in all, this team was pretty awful for the most part. Last season was perhaps once of the weirdest seasons in recent memory, drawing some entertaining commentary from social media.

Well, James is back, the team started slowly but has become a powerhouse again, and they are generally fun to watch just because when the team is clicking, they are almost unbeatable.

I also follow the Indians and the Browns, but I tend not to talk as much about them for a few reasons. With the Indians, it's such a long season and there are so many who get much more in-depth with their discussions that it never seems like I should really try to discuss them much. Baseball is probably my favorite sport to attend live, but I don't get too excited writing about it.

The Browns have just been a trainwreck since 1999, so it's been really challenging to find motivation to discuss them. Look at this past season. The team was 7-4 and looked to be on the cusp of something big, yet fell completely apart and resumed being a laughingstock again. I won't even get into all the disasters that befell this franchise, but needless to say, most of it was ugly.

Blogging used to be my way of blowing off steam, my way of dealing with the issues that I had to deal with over the course of a day, week, month, and so on. I've gotten away from that in a lot of manners, but part of me feels I need to occasionally get back into that groove. It was a great way to vent and get things off my chest.

I also have my gaming hobby that I could occasionally discuss, but I've been reluctant to bring them up simply because I'm far too casual of a gamer to feel justified in writing about anything about them. It's another situation where I feel many more people write and talk about games far more competently than I ever could, even though my knowledge of games, consoles, and PC hardware/software has grown tremendously.

So chances are pretty good that 60-75% of the content in here will still be about sports, but I'm going to try and sprinkle more random things in here. I may even occasionally put short entries detailing things that the kids of said/done since it can be pretty wild and entertaining at times.

One of the problems I am trying to tell myself to overcome is the need to write longer entries to justify the act of writing. I've never been big on putting short, concise posts up, but I think I'm getting to the point where I think putting something short and sweet up a few times a week is far better than refusing to write unless it turns into a 34 paragraph essay filled with intense and deep thoughts.

I've also considered when I do Vlogs, putting a post up with a link to that Vlog so people can check it out (especially if I'm able to embed it into the entry itself).

I feel there's so much more I can do to express myself, whether it's via blog or my channel on YouTube, but like I mentioned in my last entry, so much of it comes down to time. It's why I haven't really gone crazy promoting my channel.

It's time consuming and I just don't have the time or energy to do it on a consistent basis. Is it hurting the growth of my channel? Absolutely, just like not feeling I can commit to doing collaborations with other YouTubers is hurting the growth as well. The best I can hope for is to post the video links in here, push the videos on the sites that I do utilize, and see what happens.

In the end, I'm opinionated, but I've been keeping my opinions to myself more often than not lately.

It might be time to change that.

Anyway, thanks for being patient with me as I try to decide what's going to happen here, with my channel, and if I decide to build a web site for my "Kracker Gaming" brand.