Christmas in 2016

Hey gang,

First off, apologies for the lack of content in this blog this year. Time has very rarely been on my side and at times I probably tried to take on too many projects.

As a result, most of the things I tried to get involved with never really got going and here we are at the end of December and I have yet to accomplish a whole lot.

Well, that's not really true.

I've raised my credit scores (per Credit Karma and Capital One's CreditWise) from 550 to nearly 640. My FICO, while pretty low, is at 587 and slowly climbing. I recently was approved for a second credit card that isn't going to be for use, but rather to keep my available credit at a respectable level.

So while the quest for a house remains very much in doubt, the process is going how I would like it. The hope is that I'll be in position to get a house sooner than later, but that requires a little more work with my credit and getting a few other things lined up.

It's Christmas time again though, which means that the fine tradition of coming up with a list is alive and well, even if I'm running out of gag ideas.

In years past, I've asked for a Battleship, a space ship, world peace and domination, and various other silly things mixed with actual things I want. The idea was to see how people reacted to these lists and take a few shots at Santa and his underwhelming elves.

While I still take issue with Santa and his operation, I've come to accept that this is simply how it's going to be, much like how the 2016 Presidential Election went.

The results, while far from ideal, are what they are. No amount of yelling, hand wringing, or legislation will change that.

I think it's become very clear the whole naughty and nice thing is a sham. It appears to be more of who can suck up to Santa the most at the right time, which means kids who've been blatantly awful most of the year can make up for it with the right timing. Meanwhile, some kid can have one bad day in December and all the good can be flushed down the toilet.

And don't get me started on the watching you while you're sleeping stuff. We are getting into some stalker-grade issues here and Santa has clearly been getting away with it for a long time just because he's allegedly jolly. We can't keep going around harping about big brother and the government, yet Santa gets to watch little kids in their sleep.

So Santa, my challenge to you is to make your system a little more fair. Give equal weight to that rocket incident in November and treat it the same like the noodle incident in December. Tighten the operation up and spread the wealth a little bit. I saw the pictures where the tree could barely be seen because there were so many presents. I expect great things this Christmas.

Don't disappoint.

As always, many of the items on this list are legit, but some aren't. Most are highly unrealistic and NO ONE is expected to assist me in any way shape or form.

2016 Christmas Wish List!

• A high-powered gaming PC featuring Intel's i7-6950x CPU and a Nvidia Titan X GPU - Those along run around $1-2k a piece, but you can make this Christmas the best by providing just those pieces.
• An Xbox One S, Playstation 4 (don't care for the pro), and a Wii U - I know, the Wii U is discontinued, but I want The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess HD.
• Jeep Grand Cherokee - This would solve some of my winter driving issues.
• DJI Drone - Have you seen these things? The 4K video alone is worth the idea, never mind the possibility of having someone shoot it out of the sky just because you happen to come to close to sketchy areas.
• Donald Trump NOT be the President - I don't think I should have to explain this very much. The guy is terrifying and it's getting worse the closer we get to his term starting.
• The winning Powerball ticket - Even if it's only $40 million, there's a lot I could do with that money. Some people close to me would benefit greatly from it. Plus who doesn't want a full-length NBA court sitting in the backyard of their brand new house?
• Minions from "Despicable Me" - these guys, man they just sound so funny and look so squishy and you can do whatever you want to them.
• 2 extra hours per day - I know I don't have enough time in the day, that's for sure.
• Lifetime entry to Cedar Point - I'd be there every weekend. Oh, and it would be cool if I could bring a guest. For free. And eat for free. And a free locker.
• Season tickets to the Cleveland teams - yes, even the Browns. Could I go to every game? No, but you bet your ass I'll be at most of them.
• The ability to decide who lives and who dies - This could be abused, but I swear I'd only kill the ones who deserve it.
• A camera capable of shooting 4K video for future vlogs/video ideas. Most that I've seen run about $1k. So yeah, not in my budget.
• My teeth to not be all jacked up - Yeah yeah, I know, go to the dentist. I know.
• A place of my own and someone to occasionally come over and hang not named Kylie. You know, just something real chill.
• An Autonomous Smart Desk 2 - This is a sit to stand type of desk and I'm particularly interested in getting an extra long one for future video presentations. Plus it would make a pretty kick-ass computer desk.
• A new, comfortable chair - Not necessarily one of these "gaming" chairs because those are stupidly overpriced, but just something that's comfortable and better for my back.
• People to stop being such jerks to each other - This could be a blog post all on its own. As a society, we are so damn worried about what other people are doing and trying to make it a problem that it's disgusting. It goes beyond gay marriage and race, but those are central issues. Simply put, I'll never understand how gay marriage is a threat to the sanctity of marriage when straight marriages were already failing at a spectacular rate. Who cares? Stop worrying if a gay couple gets married and fix your own damn marriage instead.
• Better understanding of mental health - I was going to mention gun control, but I'm conflicted when it comes to guns. Simply put, mental health is still widely misunderstood and people who often need the help most get shoved aside and ignored. We need to get better people.
• My mom's health to improve - this one scares me a bit, more than I'm willing to talk about.
• The best for my friends, family, and everyone else - Seriously, let's all be better to each other. Be there for each other.

I think that's all for now. Not the best, not the zaniest, but I'm getting too old for that shit. It's time to be practical.

I can always ask for an aircraft carrier next year anyway.

In all seriousness, I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday and things work out for you in all aspects of life. I've seen far too many people have some issues pop up and you all deserve the best.

Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, and I'll see you guys around.

Maybe.

Has it really been this long?

Hi again.

It's been a long time, hasn't it?

I do believe aside from YouTube spam, it's been nearly 10 months since I last wrote in here.

Some of it is a continuing lack of time. I only have so much time once Kylie goes to sleep to work on anything, and typically I either want to play a game, work on something with my channels, contribute to a tech site, write something, or just look up various things.

More often than not though, by the time Kylie is asleep around 10:30 or 11pm, I'm exhausted. I don't have the energy to do anything too strenuous and I'm creatively tapped out. Then I end up having trouble sleeping, or Kylie wakes up a few times, or the cats run me over, etc, etc.

Really though, it just comes down to not getting enough sleep consistently, working a different schedule at work, and a rambunctious child that isn't always so willing to go to bed, plus the fact that I'm still sharing an apartment with my ex and her oldest. There's always something to clean-up, something to take care, and that takes a toll as well.

That's not what I want to write about though.

See, recently my sister messaged me through Facebook and told me someone I used to know way back when had tried to reach her two years ago looking for me. I got curious and went into messenger and discovered I had 3 different message requests, all from at least two years ago, that I had NEVER seen. I had no idea because at the time, my privacy settings were much more strict than they are now. Facebook just didn't notify me and I had never noticed.

Two were from ex girlfriends that I hadn't spoken to in a long while. The third though was from a girl I had talked to many, many years ago. Hell, I'm not even sure what social media site it was to be honest (I have a guess in my head, but cannot confirm), but it pre-dated Facebook, Twitter, and even Myspace. I remembered chatting with her, but what we talked about escapes me. What I'll never forget is how uniquely her name is spelled. It's really hard to forget a name when it isn't spelled like you'd expect.

What she remembered was enjoying my writing, which makes sense. Years ago, I often bounced from site to site depending on where I could write. I know I used to occasionally write short stories, but much like even now, a lot of my writing was what was going on, things that agitated me, and a whole lot of woe-is-me type of nonsense that I try to avoid these days.

What struck me is how much effort this woman made to try and track me down two years ago. She tried to add me on Facebook (which was impossible at the time), and when that didn't work, she found my sister and tried to reach out to her. Of course, my sister didn't get it until this week, but once she did she let me know, I checked mine, and reached out to this woman.

Much to my surprise, she was excited that I messaged her, which in hindsight really shouldn't have surprised me. One of the things that I remember about her was she was one of the few genuinely nice people that I encountered in social media's infant stage, which is when we originally talked. While there are often still concerns about whether someone's who they say they are, back then it was even harder to pin down whether someone was legitimate or not. This woman seemed too good to be true, but she was always up for a chat.

It's also a reminder that distance isn't what determines friendships. She lives in a different state from me and has experienced some things of her own in the time we haven't talked, but I think that's only going to give us more to talk about in the coming days and months and I'm interested to see what her life has been like and see where it goes.

It kind of ties into what I had for a blog idea earlier about how many early "social media" sites were really just sites that were all about rating one another and so on. I remember a few that existed, "SWYDM (aka So Would You Do Me), "Hot or Not," and the shamelessly titled "RateMyBody," which was EXACTLY how you think it would be like.

Yet SWYDM in particular had a good run where I talked with people and had a lot of fun, even if at its core it was a relatively shallow site. The people I met though made it more than what it was originally meant to be.

Like a lot of things on the internet though, the site evolved and changed, and as it did, it became less appealing for me to hang around on. It eventually changed its name and I eventually stopped going there. I want to say it was after that   when I migrated to Myspace, where I spent a good portion of my time before it became such a waste and Facebook rose to prominence.

Life moved on, things changed, people came and went, and here I am, in December of 2016, still living with my ex, her oldest, and of course little Miss Kylie Brooke.

There's been a small influx of familiar faces of late though; people I used to know years ago finding me on Facebook and chatting it up on occasion. It's been nice to reconnect with some and remember why they were fun.

*Intermission*

I'm currently typing this blog post on my new keyboard, a Logitech G910 (the unboxing is one of the previous posts from this), which is part of why I'm anxious to write more in the future. Typing things up on a laptop keyboard is not fun and this keyboard is a HUGE improvement.

I also want to mention if you like old-school video game type of music (which I just found out is called Chiptune music), an artist by the name of tiasu is incredible. His stuff is on Spotify and if you want to buy individual albums, you can find him on Bandcamp. It's catchy, it's diverse, and I'm digging it so far.

*End Intermission*

I can't promise I'll be posting a lot in the immediate future, much like my YouTube and Twitch channels have been suffering. I do believe things will pick up once my living situation is different and in terms of games, I definitely think things will improve when I finally can put together a beast of a PC and upgrade the rest of my equipment as well.

I just know that there are some out there who really enjoy when I write and it's something I should really be making a better effort at when I have 20 minutes to sit down.

I do have my annual letter to Santa to compose, plus I do occasionally have ideas pop in my head. The key is to remember my Note allows me to write on the screen with the stylus even when the screen is off, which is a great way to jot down ideas.

I also want to record a vlog at least bi-weekly, but that's dependent on things happening in my life worth recording and talking about. They are fun to put together though, so I should try to do more, especially when I have such a fantastically awful story about Walmart and shoes for Kylie to relay.

I'm going to attempt to record that this weekend, but we'll see.

It is the holiday season though, so for the love of all things great, please be nice to each other. I know a lot of us are still trying to wrap our heads around Donald Trump being elected President, but it doesn't make it okay to act like pieces of crap towards each other. Show some love, be kind, and remember that person you're disgusted with is an actual human being and you really aren't any better than them.

I'll catch you guys later.

Maybe.

Davey In Real Life :: EP20 :: How to be Shameless

Davey In Real Life :: EP19 :: Nearly Exhausted

Davey Unboxes :: EP06 :: Logitech G910 Orion Spectrum Keyboard

Davey Unboxes :: EP05 :: Logitech G502 Gaming Mouse

Davey's Adventures In Gaming | Minecraft Island Survival Hardcore | S2EP...

Davey's Adventures In Gaming | Return to Minecraft | EP01 | Starting Fresh

Davey's Adventures In Gaming | Channel Update Sept 2016

Davey In Real Life :: EP18 :: A Slew of Updates

Davey In Real Life :: EP17 :: A Brief Kylie Video ::

Davey In Real Life :: EP14 :: The Last 2 Weeks

Minecraft Island Survival Hardcore | Season 2 | EP06 | Catching Up

Davey In Real Life :: EP13 :: Welcome to 1080/60 Vlogs

Davey Unboxes :: EP04 :: Canon Vixia HF R50

Davey's Adventures In Gaming | How I Got Here

Davey's Tech Stuff :: EP03 :: Camera Talk

Davey's Adventures In Gaming | Minecraft | What to Expect!

Davey Unboxes :: EP03 :: New Backdrop Hype!

Davey In Real Life :: EP12 :: Change Has Begun ::

Channel Update :: March 2016 ::

Kylie at 3 :: A Collection of Clips ::

Facing mortality

Hey all.

I know that once again it's been a while since I've posted in here. Life has been busy as I prepare for what could be a massive change in the next few months and I've been spending a lot of time taking care of things that were needed.

That's not what this post is about though.

No, the other day I started to think about what might happen when my time is up in this life. Not in a morbid "dear god I'm going to die some day" way, but rather in a much scarier way, at least to myself.

I thought about what it might feel like at the moment that I pass and what could be waiting on the other side of death, if anything. There are few things that cause me to become anxious, but what happens after death is one of those things.

Is reincarnation real? Do we come back into this world at another point in time somewhere else? Do we live life after life with no end to the cycle?

Or do we continue to exist in another sense, or another plane like a spirit world? If so, are we able to keep tabs on the life we used to have?

Or does it just end and you cease to exist in any shape or form?

That last option scares me. It legitimately does scare me. The thought of the world going dark around me and there being nothing after that is pretty terrifying.

Maybe it's because I have a child and the thought of leaving her behind terrifies me in any capacity.

In any case, I thought about it, freaked myself out a bit, and then banished the thought from my mind. After all, my time will come when fate decides it's time for me to go and I'll have no choice but to accept it.

I went about my business this weekend, yet the concept of mortality and how it affects us all continued to linger in my mind. I thought about how there had been relatively few passings in my life while other people seem to constantly deal with death and its effects on families.

The passing of my cousin Keenan was tough to stomach, but life had taken me away from a lot of my extended family, especially once Kylie was born. It stung but I couldn't linger on it as I have a small child constantly seeking my attention.

I don't think the thoughts of mortality were a coincidence after the news I received today now. I think like most things in life, there's a reason behind a lot of things and maybe the thoughts of mortality were a warning that something was going to happen. I'm not sure about this, but life to this point has shown me there's typically a reason behind most things that happen, even if you can't see it right away.

Initially, I had been informed that my last remaining grandmother was not doing well and was in the hospital. Upon hearing this, I made the decision that I was going to try and visit one last time, so we headed into Cleveland early on the chance that I could do so.

Unfortunately, shortly after arriving in Cleveland, I received a message from my mom that my grandmother actually had passed away earlier in the day, roughly around 10am or so.

I just sat in a chair for a bit, thinking about all the times I had meant to call but didn't, all those times I thought about visiting, yet ultimately didn't get around to it either because I was dealing with my own stuff or didn't have the gas to make the extra trip in. I thought about all the things we used to do, how active my grandma was in our lives.

I thought about the passing of my dad and how much it hurt her and the rest of the family. I thought about the phone calls we had after I had moved out to Willoughby to start the latest chapter in my life. She could talk for hours if you let her and I usually did, even if I had other things that I was going to do.

I thought about the family gatherings out the country (in Ashtabula) that used to go on all the time, all the holidays spent at her house.

I just sat and thought about the numerous lost opportunities because I became too wrapped up in my own life and own struggles.

I just thought.

I sit now and think about the "Davey" nickname that she always referred to me with (and now you know where that nickname originated from).

I don't know if it's going to hit me. I don't handle grief the same way others do so I don't know if that moment is going to come when I break down. It didn't happen with my dad (too much bitterness I suppose) and has only really happened when I had to put my cat Kisa down. Even then, I knew I was doing the right thing and had come to accept it, so it didn't wreck me like it could have.

Even now, the thoughts are returning of all the times we used to go to my grandma's house in Cleveland and I'm not feeling grief, just nostalgia and sadness that maybe I didn't appreciate those moments enough. Then again, a lot of my emotion is tied up in a little girl that's going to be 3 in a few months.

Even now, she's come out of her mom's room to pay me a visit while I type this, so it's hard to feel too much sadness with her around.

Yet I am sad. I know I am. Which makes me believe at some point it's going to hit me and possibly hit me hard. And I'm going to regret all the time I didn't spend with her and the rest of the family.

I've let a lot of bitterness continue to linger in me from my childhood, a lot of which is really my dad's fault. Sure, the family could've come around sooner on my dad's issues, but you can't fault them either. I can't continue to hold on to this grudge or whatever it is that's been lingering for so many years.

The simple truth is I'm going to have to face mortality again in the future and I can't sit there and wonder if I'm missing more opportunities.

I've missed too many as it is.

Grandma Betty, you were always great to us and always made sure we knew you cared about us. You will be missed in so many ways.

Rest in peace.

Love, Davey.

KG Presents :: Ori and the Blind Forest :: Start to Finish Time Lapse ::

Davey Fails at :: Ori and the Blind Forest :: EP17 :: Mount Horu Pt 2/En...

Davey Fails at :: Ori and the Blind Forest :: EP16 :: Mount Horu Part 1 ::

Sex sells, even in gaming

A few months back, the world of Twitch dealt with some controversy as certain female streamers were hit with accusations that they weren't real gamers, just women showing their boobs on cam to get views, donations, and ultimately, partnered with Twitch and other companies.

The arguments were fairly valid, even if they were a bit broad. Yes, it was clear there was and still is a large contingent of women who gain an audience by simply showing a lot of cleavage. And yes, it's not entirely fair to the gamers (men and women) who are serious about gaming and actually on Twitch to play video games.

I get the frustration. I really do. Nothing is more upsetting than working hard at your craft, pouring hours into it, and getting minimal gains while someone else giggles and clearly doesn't have a clue as to what's going on in the game she's "playing" while the views, subs, and sponsors roll in.

But I feel a lot of people who complain like to paint a very broad picture of what the problem is, often lumping more serious women gamers into the fray just because it's a woman streaming who may or may not be showing some cleavage.

I struggle with this a bit because I've met plenty of women in my time who almost always have kind of cleavage showing. It's normal, natural, and not necessarily meant to be something that draws attention, just how they are comfortable dressing. It's not much different than men who walk around either in beaters or shirtless. It's a comfort thing and many women are pretty comfortable in a tank top.

In a lot of ways, I feel the issue towards women gamers is similar to the issue that women sports fans often deal with. Sports, much like games, has often been thought of as a man's realm, where they can get away from the feministic stuff and enjoy being a man. Gaming has often been viewed the same way, just without the masculinity that sports offers.

There's always been this defensive view of gaming when women are involved and I think it contributes to the perception being laid on women who attempt to show the world they like games.

Now don't get me wrong; there are a LOT of women who exploit Twitch by dressing in skimpy outfits to get views and such. It exists and is not really a new idea. It certainly is a problem, but unless Twitch and sponsors who in a sense enable this stop supporting these "fake" gamers, it's always going to go on whether it's fair or not.

In a sense, calling it unfair is actually being unfair. If a woman can go on a stream, show her boobs, and get paid for doing it while Twitch looks the other way, she's in a sense just following the American dream. You and I can hate it, but it's just someone taking an opportunity that's currently presented to them.

Again, I'm not calling it a good thing. It certainly isn't. If Twitch is meant to be a site for people who want to show their video game (or creative) skills and not have sexual clothing be part of it, then the site itself needs to crack down more on this and actually put a stop to it. If they don't, well, you can spit venom all you want, but it's not going to stop guys from watching.

Fact is, sex has ALWAYS been a big selling point, even if it's somewhat regulated in the States. Guys want to see cleavage and such and women want to see men with muscles wearing next to nothing. It's why pornography is such a big business and why strip clubs continue to exist.

It may be frowned upon, but as long as someone's willing to pony up the money to watch a girl stream with her boobs hanging out, it's going to exist. The moment that people stop going into these streams and supporting them, that's when they'll stop.

Unless that happens, all you can do is continue to work at your craft, be entertaining when you stream, and realize that even if these women go away, it's still a VERY saturated marketplace. There are a LOT of people who love games and want to showcase their skills, but only so many people to watch at any given time.

I ultimately will say worry about yourself when it comes to anything in life. If you spend all your time worrying about what others are doing, you'll never get anywhere. Make your stream better, get better at the games you play, and be fun to watch. Most importantly, remember that while you may only have a fraction of the viewers some of these women have, you still have viewers. Make them feel valuable and who knows, they might tell their friends about this awesome streamer.

Word of mouth is a powerful thing that I myself have failed to really capitalize on.

Or better yet, instead of complaining about the women clearly using their bodies to gain views, find and promote the legitimate gamer girls who love games and are fun to watch. There are plenty of them out there who I've enjoyed when I've had the chance to watch them and they aren't using cleavage to gain an audience.

If you don't think women should be playing games, well, go back under the rock you crawled out from under because that kind of sexism doesn't belong in today's world.

In the end, if you don't like what a woman is doing, feel free to use social media to POLITELY make your point, but remember for every person who agrees with you and avoid it, there's many others who will go just because they can't resist the idea of seeing boobs. You're best bet is don't watch them. Don't give them publicity.

If I don't like something, I don't watch it. Sure, the few times I stream these fake gamers could be stealing views, but I am of the belief that if I'm entertaining enough and present a stream that's high enough in quality, people WILL find it and support it over the fluff that's out there.

If they don't, well, I'm not doing this seriously and it means that I wasn't entertaining enough for other people.

People will always manipulate the system. Gaming is no different. Just don't throw an entire race or gender under the bus because you're mad. Find the good ones and promote them. In return, they just may promote you and everyone wins when that happens.

Thanks for reading and if you have a comment, please be polite about it. Rude ones will not be approved.

Talking about kids and the Powerball jackpot

Typically, when I want to write a post, I try to come up with a singular idea and then attempt to flesh it out in my head so that I can write enough words to justify the effort.

Once in a while, I have two concurrent thoughts running through my head, both of them vying for my attention and demanding they be written about.

That's where I'm at right now.

On one hand, I've had a lot of thoughts about what it's been like being a dad for 2 and 1/2 years now. On the other hand, the Powerball jackpot is $1.5 BILLION.

Let that word resonate.

BILLION.

It's a big number and if my boss's conspiracy theory is correct, there will be somewhere along the lines of 32 winners tonight after having no winners for quite some time.

It's a pretty demanding subject to think about.

There's a lot you can do with all that money. Many people on Twitter and Facebook have talked about what they'd do with that kind of money. I've seen people posting about multiple week vacations, buying fancy cars, mansions, and a lot of other silly things that often lead people to being broke within 7 years of winning.

On the other hand, there are plenty of people talking about who'd they share their winnings with and who'd they donate money to. One person tweeted they'd donate half of the money they won.

Those willing to share and spread the wealth deserve a hand. Those thinking of how much they want to buy also deserve a hand. It takes a certain level of bravery to admit you'd be wasteful with your winnings.

What does this have to do with Kylie though?

Well, I think the obvious is that if I were to win the lottery (or have some friendly soul share a portion with me), Kylie's life would be far different from what mine was. She certainly would have far less to worry about and if I invest things properly, she'd have more than enough money to help her get by well into her adult life.

The lottery is a fascinating thing though. Obviously the more that people put into it without a winner, the higher it goes, yet you always hear people say it's not worth playing when it's "just $50 million." I mean, that's nothing to sneeze at considering I make roughly $35k a year at this point. Even the million dollar secondary prize with the Powerball would be incredible for me, yet people scoff at the notion of playing the lottery unless it's over $100 million or more.

For the sake of discussion, here is a list of things I'd do *IF* I won the lottery of any sort (much less this one):

• IMMEDIATELY split the amount in half and set aside one half to invest in various things. What things aren't completely decided, but high-interest accounts and at least one or two trust funds would be mandatory. This would ensure that the money would continue to grow in the future.
  
• Immediate family and friends would get a healthy portion of the money that wasn't invested. How much is undecided, but they would be far from poor after I'm done.
  
• I'd buy a large parcel of land and have a house built there. The house would be 4-5 bedrooms and have one additionally large room that would be used as my gaming/streaming/recording/editing command center. I'm also considering a small kennel as well for dog-fostering purposes.
  
• I'd buy a Jeep Cherokee for every day use, a Wrangler for fun, and possibly a quad-cab Ram for those inevitable times that someone needs a truck to move something. Yes, the Wrangler would be heavily customized/modded.
  
• I'd have a deck, pool, dog run/kennel, kids play area, and covered basketball court in my backyard. Much of it would have a large privacy fence around it to contain Kylie and however many dogs I end up having. Yes, a basketball court is a bit much, but it's super annoying trying to find a good place to shoot some hoops.
  
• My command center would consist of my main PC for gaming, a streaming PC used to run my live stream, and a third PC that would be built so that I could test new PC hardware/software before giving said stuff away on one of my streams. This means I'd quit my current job so I could do this sort of thing full-time. One of each console would be present in the room for my stream/recording sessions and the room would be soundproof as well.
  
• I'd do a number of things I've always wanted to do including riding the Amtrak into Glacier National Park, a cross-country road trip that includes a drive down the Pacific Coast Highway, a cruise, and whatever else my brain thinks of.
  
• I'd buy season tickets to the Indians, Browns, and Cavs. I'd also try to get to as many Ohio State football games as well.
  
• Random streamers I enjoy on the internet would get large donations from me. I'd essentially try to do as much for other people who clearly deserve as I can. If someone makes enjoyable videos but needs a new piece for their set-up, I'd gladly help make the dream come true as long as I wasn't approached directly by them.
  
• I'd ignore virtually EVERYONE who comes looking for a handout though. If I deem you worthy of receiving monetary help, I'd come to you. Anyone who directly asks me for anything is not getting a penny. I'm going to be more than generous if I win. Don't be a turd and go looking for me to help you.
  
• I'd donate a large amount to St. Jude, ExtraLife, and any other charity I deem worthy. Streamers doing charity streams? I'd consider donating again to help the cause.
  

Remember, these are hypothetical based on me winning, which frankly isn't going to happen. I mean, it would be nice and I'd definitely be grateful, but the odds are 1 in 292 million.


No, those aren't good.

But it's fun to think about, and I certainly hope that whoever wins is smart with the money and doesn't go blowing it on 8 cars, 5 houses, 3 boats, and weekend visits to Las Vegas (for the love of all that is holy, DON'T GAMBLE IT ALL AWAY! If you're gonna do that, give it to other people instead).

But most importantly, it would give Kylie a great life. She'd have virtually anything she wanted and/or needed. She'd never have to worry about whether there was enough money for something. We could go places and do things otherwise not possible.

But she's already a blast as is, so I guess if I don't win, life will be just fine regardless.

But kids.

There are things that aren't in the Parenting manual (not that I was given one; I'm just assuming that the things I've encountered weren't mentioned anyway) and probably with good reason. If you knew of some of the things you'd see, you probably wouldn't have kids.

There are things you come to expect, such as writing on the wall and food being smeared around. You know that potty training is going to be, uh, messy and you know they aren't always going to want to eat actual food.

When I hear Kylie say "uh uh, no WAY" and have no idea where she heard that? That's when you realize that you are never completely prepared.

Let's roll it back to when they're born though. They don't do a whole lot besides grunt, cry, and poop.

Remember crying and poop. Those things don't go away.

Then they start rolling around. They start babbling and sometimes they even smile and laugh. Then stuff comes flying out of their mouth that you weren't at all prepared for and it's the one time you forgot to put a little blanket on your shoulder.

They learn to crawl and learn to eat food. This seems great, except when they learn to eat food, they learn by most of it actually missing their mouth. It ends up all over their face, their bib, their clothes (despite the bib), their hands, and most impressively, objects at least 15 feet away just because they waved their hands at the most inopportune time. There's also a 94% chance food is on you just because you're trying to get the spoon in their mouth while they bob and weave.

The messiness never really eases up. Sure, the food and drink starts to find its way into their mouth, but spills become very common. They don't understand that turning a plate sideways means the potatoes slide off. They don't really think that running with a lidless cup means liquids are sloshing all over the place. They're exceptionally surprised when a spill happens, but early on they try to help clean it up, thus spreading the mess because cleaning it up means putting the soaked paper towel on the couch instead of the garbage can.

Speaking of garbage cans, watch what's in their before closing it up. It's very likely an important thing is in there, such as when my niece threw my mom's computer mouse away.

Lord help you if they figure out what happens when you squeeze a bottle of baby powder.

Also, it should be noted that if you think it's out of reach, it's actually considered a challenge for them to find a way to get it down. Eventually they'll figure it out and they WILL get the item down.

Computers are just things that make funny noises when you hit certain keys, especially ones that delete things that might be important or change the zoom level to 500%, making it impossible to revert back unless you know the keyboard shortcut.

I've come home to my icons rearranged, my mic detached from its shock mount, and a having seen me spew a crap ton of gibberish into JonOfAllGame's livestream chat. Shoutout to that time that Kylie made the "L" key log me off of my computer as well. That was a good time.

Clothes ultimately are giant bibs. It's almost assured that the moment you put clean clothes on a toddler, those clothes will be covered in things you didn't know were in your home.  Pants are also optional as it's far more enjoyable to run around without them.

They will find the things you stash, stash the things you need, and change your phone's language to one you've never heard of.

They will pick up on things that you do, such as wiping off a movie disc with your sleeve or what time you take your meds. They will want things they have no business wanting, but avoid things you know they like just because they aren't in the mood.

In the last six months, Kylie has learned how to fist bump, high five, double high five, spit in the sink, wipe after she's peed in her diaper (potty training; ugh), tell us that she's pooped, told me NO WAY to anything she doesn't want to do, and scratched up my face more times than I care to admit (I currently have a small scratch on my nose thanks to her).

She's also learned that the couch springs are really bouncy, and couple this with her recent discovery of actual jumping, and I often come home to cushions on the floor and a child bouncing on the love seat.

It sounds horrific and entertaining at the same time, and it is.

But she's so much fun. She likes to run around and be chased. She's turned me into a slide and kicked me off the couch ("my spot!"). She yells "I got you!" when she grabs my arm and we have spent many nights hiding under the blanket from, well, who knows. But if I speak too loud, she looks at me and shushes me.

We take walks outside when it's nice. She sits in my lap when I'm at my computer and watches Jon and others stream (she particularly likes Jon's stream and anyone playing Mario). She often can be found cuddling up in the morning and evening when she's not playing.

She likes to be tossed around, but she also sometimes just wants to be left alone to be in her own world with whatever toy she has. She can sit for upwards of a half hour sometimes just minding her own business playing. Those are some of my favorite moments because she's clearly in her own world, not worried about a thing.

I've realized there are few things more peaceful than a child sleeping. I knew it before Kylie, but it's become even more evident now that I've been able to occasionally watch her in her sleep. Everything seems all right in her world at that moment.

Then I remember I have all her damn blocks to clean up because she dumped them on the floor and then kicked them all over the place.

Being a parent is truly not for everyone though. You need patience, you need understanding, and you need Tums sometimes to survive them at their worst. Kylie has her days when she's whiny and crying over virtually everything. She cries a lot when I leave, but I know she gets over it.

Yet all the bad goes out the window when I walk in the door (or haven't even made it to the building) and I hear her yelling "Daddy!" and she comes running full speed at me to hug my leg and show me what she was doing.

Except when she's covered in baby powder.

The main thing I want to impart on you is to enjoy your kids. Remember they're still learning and you're one of the most important teachers they have. Treasure the time you have because you never know when life will step in and change things on you.

Especially you single parents out there. It isn't always easy, especially if you are at the point I'll be at in a few months where you don't get to see your kid every day. Make the most of the time you have and don't hold on to the negative.

Oh, and go win the lottery and give me $10 million.

Davey Fails at Ori and the Blind Forest :: EP15 :: Scavenger Hunt ::

Let's talk 2016

Let's be really honest.

2015 was not a good year.

Yes, there were good moments (virtually anything involving Kylie and getting a modest raise at work among the highlights), but it was a turbulent year filled with a lot of ups and downs, including the ending of a long relationship that nearly crashed and burned in the process.

I don't want turbulent anymore. I want better.

I want calm.

I know that's a pipe dream. Life in itself isn't calm. Things happen that you have NO control over, and those things can take a calm life and turn it upside down. 

There are things that could happen. Someone could get injured or pass away. My car could break down. There are a litany of unknown things that could happen to completely upset the calm that I look to achieve.

I accept that because that's life. However, I will do my damndest to avoid it happening to me.

I want 2016 to be great. I want it to be successful. I want the best for everyone and things to break my way a few times. I want to better take advantage of whatever opportunities come my way (and believe me, fewer come your way as you get older).

But mostly, I just want the year to be great for Kylie.

I've been stressing this for months now and it continues to hold true. I want happiness for Kylie, whether if she's with me or with her mother. I see far too many parents bicker over what's best for their kid after they've gone their separate ways and that's just not good for the kid.

When she's with me, she's number one. Even if she's not with me during the week, she's still number one. This is something ALL will be expected to understand. If you can't, then get the fudge out and don't let the door hit you.

Seriously though, it's not about what I want. It's about what's best for that child. If it means missing some time with her so she can do something fun with her mom, then there shouldn't be an issue with it. Too many parents are unwilling to swallow their pride and work together to ensure their kid is happy. They want to be in control and determine what happens.

So I want her to have a great year no matter where she's at.

Ultimately, this year needs to be a year when I take a new step forward. One way or another, my life needs to be better when 2016 closes out. 

It means being a better person overall.

No, it does mean the snark is going away. Snarkiness will always be a part of who I am, but picking and choosing when to be snarky needs to improve.

It means putting 100% behind what I'm doing, not 75% and hoping no one notices the slacking I did on the other 25%.

It means branching out and trying new things.

It means fixing what I can fix and not stressing about the things I can't fix.

In my head, there are several things I'd like to be better with and the hope is that putting these ideas into writing will help keep me on track. 

Here are some things I'd like to accomplish in 2016:

• Get back into running and working out on a regular basis.
  
• Be a better coworker
  
• Be a better/more consistent friend
  
• Make the most of the time I get with Kylie
  
• Get back into my YouTube/Twitch hobby and improve with it
  
• Build/buy a new, more powerful PC
  
• Make as many new connections as possible and maintain those connections
  
• Start putting money aside in the hopes of getting a house in the future
  
• Win the lottery
  
• Take care of everyone close to me after winning the lottery
  
• Fix my damn teeth
  
• Enjoy where life takes me

I know the chances of winning the lottery are insanely slim, but I have so many ideas of what I'd do if I did win it's not funny. I'd obviously take care of those closest to me, but I'd also build a house, buy a new car (or two), set up the gaming/recording room of my dreams, do the YouTube/Twitch thing full-time, take Kylie to a bunch of places, and just live life freely.

No, it's not going to happen, but I can dream, right?

Most everything else though can be achieved with a little hard work and dedication, and that's something I'm capable of doing when I'm not being a complete lazy butt.

Seriously though, I want this year to be great.

You'll note I didn't include anything about dating in this. While I believe the possibility of dating is there, it's not something I'm expecting as I will be spending almost half the year nearly completely focused on work and Kylie, so time will not be on my side for most anything else that isn't necessary.

While it would be nice to be with someone who supports me and all that fun stuff, it's not something that's required for me to be happy. It would just be a nice bonus if it were to happen. I'm not going to be the type that requires a relationship to be happy with myself. If it happens, it's because that person adds that much more to my life.

There's some excitement, but also uncertainty with this year. I don't know where I'm going to be come July, but I will be somewhere in the general area. I do know my weekends will be strictly Kylie time, and even some of my time during the week.

The idea is to make the most of the year. You're either along for the ride, or you're not part of it at all.

Here's to a great 2016 for not just myself, but for everyone.

We can all do better.